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(#11)
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Luffy's Avatar
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Default 07-09-2021, 10:34 PM

Dom please don't think we're trying to be hostile or offend you. The question you asked is 'an opener that feels more natural'. What people have told you in the thread, is that the opener really doesn't matter as much as you think it does.

Why are we telling you this? Because once you realise that the opener doesn't matter, it allows you to relax and just say whatever is on your mind <-- KEY. Then you become more "natural" and openers will start flowing out. It's like a paradox. Once you realise that the opener doesn't matter then whatever you open with, will automatically feel and BE more natural. When people sense that you're just being genuine and just sharing what you really think, they will tend to pay attention. Not in all cases of course but it tends to work. Definitely works better than saying the perfect opener but it coming from a place of seeking approval and manipulation.

Examples have been given in the thread but even greater than those examples, long term advice has also been shared.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight"

"Nothing to lose, everything to learn"

"Either you win or you learn how to win"
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(#12)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default 08-09-2021, 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stein View Post
My advice wasn't just "go approach". You have an opener that works - I gave you one and it's gotten me laid a bunch in the past. If you want to act offended by my tone then whatever, honestly I think you're just reading hostility into it dude. I wasn't trying to be rude to you at all.

I didn't say you shouldn't question my answers either. If you have questions go ahead. But I did spend most of my reply explaining why asking for openers isn't a useful question, because it isn't. Again, the opener doesn't matter. Vibe and the ability to move on past the opener do. So your focus should be on those things.

If these methods seem questionable, question them. I can explain in detail how and why it'll help you get laid. I'm happy to give advice but it works the way it works, and sorry to break it to you but a lot of your preconceptions about how it works are going to be wrong. If they weren't you'd have already figured this out.

Or, you know, you can get annoyed because you aren't being humoured and find some PU coach with a financial interest in doing that for you. Your call dude, you're the one who's frustrated here.
Maybe I read some hostility into it when you didn't mean it. Okay. I am just put off by super douche Kowalski. Dunno that dude REALLY thinks he's the shit, and he set the tone for the answers for me.

I said I liked your answer. It helped me a little cause it's simple, non cringey and definitely invites a response you can build on to.

Last edited by DaredevilDom; 08-09-2021 at 02:42 AM.
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(#13)
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Junior Member
 
Default 08-09-2021, 02:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luffy View Post
Dom please don't think we're trying to be hostile or offend you. The question you asked is 'an opener that feels more natural'. What people have told you in the thread, is that the opener really doesn't matter as much as you think it does.

Why are we telling you this? Because once you realise that the opener doesn't matter, it allows you to relax and just say whatever is on your mind <-- KEY. Then you become more "natural" and openers will start flowing out. It's like a paradox. Once you realise that the opener doesn't matter then whatever you open with, will automatically feel and BE more natural. When people sense that you're just being genuine and just sharing what you really think, they will tend to pay attention. Not in all cases of course but it tends to work. Definitely works better than saying the perfect opener but it coming from a place of seeking approval and manipulation.

Examples have been given in the thread but even greater than those examples, long term advice has also been shared.
Openers are important. Atleast as a crutch for someone who sucks at cold approaches on the streets.

Telling me I don't need it when I really have no way to do without is super patronising. Maybe I read a little more hostility into the rest of the answers here than it was intended. But I'm just human. I'm biased by the initial tone of the earliest answers.

But seriously you guys should reconsider your approach how you teach newcomers... Maybe you shouldn't just oppose everything someone like me says because YOU don't need it maybe instead you should walk a few steps with me before guiding me to a different way.

I'm new here. And that's my impression. Food for thought.
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(#14)
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Luffy's Avatar
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Default 08-09-2021, 04:20 AM

Well didn't mean to be patronising but please realise even if someone gives you the perfect opener. If you go up to a woman with the perfect opener but she senses that you want something from her (Validation/wanting her to respond positively) she's gonna be on her guard. It would most likely have been better to just go up and say genuinely whatever is on your mind or what you truly feel. People especially attractive women can sense when someone is not being congruent and will tend not to respond too positively. That's why we make such a big deal of trying to make you see, not to focus too much on finding the perfect opener.
A genuine compliment and changing topic to whatever, tends to work ok in my experience.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight"

"Nothing to lose, everything to learn"

"Either you win or you learn how to win"
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(#15)
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Dr_Zed's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 08-09-2021, 08:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stein View Post

An opener seriously doesn't matter. Like I don't even remember what the hell I've started conversations with recently. If your vibe is right and you come off as congruent and chill any old bullshit will work. If you seem all uptight like you've got one stuck in the chamber you'll come off weird even if it's a good opener.

The key thing is being able to move on past the opener. An opener will not do the work for you no matter how good it is. People get an opener they think is awesome, walk up, drop it and just let that shit hang there like a dry fart without any attempt to move things forward or redirect the conversation from there. So even if you had the perfect opener you'd be back here a couple weeks after complaining that you can open now but can't hook.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kowalski
Give them a focal point, create a fake narrative, pump up the energy. Sometimes you'll swing and miss, that's just what it is. Usually when I approach in my head all I've got is "excuse me" or "hey listen..." and I panic but I keep putting one foot in front of the other till I arrive and then I say "excuse me" and then I keep talking. And that's all that matters. If you go over, you'll say something. You are not gonna say nothing. Your mouth and brain will get together and force some kind of sounds, hopefully words, out in to the world.
Very under-rated advice. Same with Kowalski's too. I'm not even sure if a pick-up coach can teach decent conversation skills as a lot of it is based on vibe and mental health state. A perma-depressed or paranoid guy could never get any results regardless of their "openers."


Professional bum. I post here as I have too much time on my hands :P

Last edited by Dr_Zed; 08-09-2021 at 10:04 AM.
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(#16)
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kowalski's Avatar
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Default 08-09-2021, 09:19 AM

Where exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kowalski View Post
What you are saying makes no sense whatsoever. Natural is an expression of your personal prejudices, nothing more.

You want us to give you something that will feel natural to you. What feels natural to you is to do nothing. That's what you've always done. Anything else is going to feel unnatural. You have to suck it up. I rollerblade, that shit felt Hella unnatural to begin with. Now they feel like an extension of my being. Switching weight dynamically heel/toe is just like breathing. There's no way to matrix it all into your brain. You have to go through the process of the new thing feeling unnatural until it doesn't.

It is definitely cringey to say "I just saw you from over there and thought you're cute" though. One would say "hi, you are cute" and then one would keep talking. There's a world of difference between the two. "I just" reduction of yourself to "just" like it is just this nothing more, only little me with a little interruption, please ignore me I have no confidence. "See you from over there" does it matter where you were, what's that information for? Is that your alibi is she a cop? And why are you admitting to stalking then from afar and observing them? "I thought" also no, that is past tense and only your opinion. "I think" is present tense, which would be better but why couch it, just stating it as an independent fact "you are cute".

Now everyone knows why we are here. That's a good thing. She's cute, you wanna bang. She hasn't got an opinion on you yet. They are attracted to personality and status etc. That takes time to display to them. So that's what you need to do next.

... and that would be great for a girl on her own but not ideal for a group of girls whooping it up in the streets. That shit is dumb easy. Girls are boring as fuck, not a single one of them has any conversational chops, they hate each other and they lack direction.

Give them a focal point, create a fake narrative, pump up the energy. Sometimes you'll swing and miss, that's just what it is. Usually when I approach in my head all I've got is "excuse me" or "hey listen..." and I panic but I keep putting one foot in front of the other till I arrive and then I say "excuse me" and then I keep talking. And that's all that matters. If you go over, you'll say something. You are not gonna say nothing. Your mouth and brain will get together and force some kind of sounds, hopefully words, out in to the world.

You might not know how to fight and are possibly a pacifist, but if you walk into a ring and someone starts throwing punches at you, you'll start fighting... on the walk to the ring things will start happening inside to prepare you and they will also be screaming at you "running is also an option, let's just run, bro".

Sometimes I'll have something prepared because the moment presents something to me that I can work with and that's great but it's not the norm.

Whatever you say isn't going to be any better or worse than "oh you speak Japanese". Hey just say that even if they don't. Who cares. They say "no we don't" then make a joke out of it. Just say that to everybody when you don't know what to say. That's your new opener for everyone "oh wow, you speak Japanese". You'll soon have seen most of the ways people respond to that and maybe have some stock follow ups for when they reply in ways you've seen before.

It doesn't matter and it won't make any difference long term. Sometimes it is gonna suck and be embarrassing. That's when you laugh at yourself and the absurdity of existence.

So there you go, you have to walk over. That's all there is to it. Stop being a pussy or don't get any.

Oh… no where. It’s not true.

In fact Luffy lauded my comment saying he’d like to thank it multiple times… and Stein merely repeated what I wrote (he likes to do that). Your reply to my comment didn’t mention anything about it and was perfectly neutral, very similar to your reply to Dan. You only started to cry about how we all hate you after Stein’s comment.

So, no you don’t get to create that fake narrative. You don’t like me because I called you out on your bullshit. You are trying to save face now that everyone else chimed in saying “kowalski is right”. There are no other factors.

For all the wonderful things that you are now opening your mind to, accepting and learning and all the good that will come into your life because of them… you are welcome.


Peace,

kowalski


Like a stray bullet, you niggas misled

Last edited by kowalski; 08-09-2021 at 09:41 AM.
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(#17)
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Stein's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 08-09-2021, 10:41 AM

Except I added specifics you didn't kowalski, like I've mentioned to you before. And for all your advice is good, you do come off super haughty and needlessly condescending. Have you noticed this happens literally every time you talk to a new person? You're the common denominator there dude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaredevilDom View Post
Openers are important. Atleast as a crutch for someone who sucks at cold approaches on the streets.

But seriously you guys should reconsider your approach how you teach newcomers... Maybe you shouldn't just oppose everything someone like me says because YOU don't need it maybe instead you should walk a few steps with me before guiding me to a different way.

I'm new here. And that's my impression. Food for thought.

The point wasn't that we don't need it, the point was that you don't need it either. You just think you do. Effective openers only have to work as a single first thing to say before you move into something else, which can be totally unrelated. Use the opener I gave you, It'll work fine. The focus should be on pivoting off the opener to something else. Work on moving past it into something new. Trying out openers that seem like nothing will soon get you tuned into the idea that it doesn't matter, then you can move past it and you won't have to worry about it any more


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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(#18)
Old
kowalski's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
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Default 08-09-2021, 01:00 PM

Have I noticed? Seriously, did you bang your head recently?

I haven't noticed, no. Because it is by design. I've noticed that it works perfectly though, as have you... even you take the bait... but apparently you thought it wasn't by design. That's retarded, bro.


Peace,

kowalski


Like a stray bullet, you niggas misled
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(#19)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default 08-09-2021, 01:24 PM

Close the thread. Im leaving the forum. You guys don't even realise what you're doing and I don't want to be anything like you.
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(#20)
Old
Stein's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 08-09-2021, 02:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaredevilDom View Post
Close the thread. Im leaving the forum. You guys don't even realise what you're doing and I don't want to be anything like you.
Yeah, fair.

Kowalski, whether it's accidental or on purpose you're still being a condescending asshole. If you want to vent and be a dick to people whatever, but I don't see the point in doing that in a place designed to discuss stuff when it alienates practically everyone on here. No wonder this place is literally just you and Dan now


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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