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Default What do you do in that situation? - 31-07-2021, 06:47 AM

Hi guys,

There is a woman in the gym to which I have been going for the last four months and we have never spoken to each other. Recently I started to like her and I want to meet her but I don't know what to say to do not appear that I am indecisive if she asks me "Why you speak to me after 4 months" or "Why you want to meet me after so long" (we have never spoken to each other and we have been going to the same gym for 4 months).

What would you do guys in a situation like that?
I would answer "I had been in a relationship". Which makes sense to me why I haven't spoken to her.

Please give an example of what would you answer or what did you do when the girl was in front of your eyes for 4 months and you decided to act after 4 months.

Thanks,
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kowalski's Avatar
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Default 31-07-2021, 09:28 AM

"I've been masturbating to you for a while now, obviously, and..."

No, man. This is dumb. If we all get together, big community effort, and calculate the perfect response. Then you go over say "Hey babe, let's get coffee sometime" she's all coy like "Huhuhaha errm ... why didn't you speak to me for 4 months" then you insert our perfect response here. The conversation ends, you start fucking on the treadmill, then go home together and she never speaks again. SweeeeEET!!!

It's not going down like that. How do you expect her to dleiver her lines perfectly, she hasn't even seen the script, you wrote the script and have practiced your lines and I guarantee that you are gonna fluff your lines... I didn't even type 'deliver' perfectly.

Let's back this up from the end to the begining.

4. There is no perfect response
3. She isn't going to say what you want her to say
2. Even you aren't going to say what you want to say and you are "prepared"
1. This entire thought process does not serve you in any way and only causes you anxiety, shut it down


Here's what's gonna happen, you are probably never gonna talk to this girl and that's ok. You have no idea what you are doing and it would be clumsy and embarrasing at best. Most cold approaches fail, as in the vast majority. Even if you are very comfortable doing it. If you do, it'll just make things awkward in the gym. So don't. It's ok.

And, she's not special or even that hot. It's truly nothing.

Start chatting girls get used to it. Those conversations are going to be longer than this crazy 2 line script you have running on repeat in your brain. You are gonna have to be shucking and jiving, spinning tales and showcasing all your skills and all your worth for hours at a time with only brief bathroom breaks. Then you won't be going crazy in your head like this and you'll just chat the next cute girl to show up in the gym on the first time you see her and in a very casual way and it'll be chill and not awkward if there's no attraction. And live your best life, buddy!

But ignore me and listen to some tit who'll pop up soon and tell you the perfect line do it and if she says that, I will straight up send you 0.003 bitcoin.


Peace,

kowalski


Like a stray bullet, you niggas misled

Last edited by kowalski; 31-07-2021 at 09:32 AM.
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markuk (02-08-2021)
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Default 31-07-2021, 01:12 PM

Thanks man, but that does not help me at all.

You didn't get the question.
I don't have anxiety about cold approaches. I asked you how you would pass the shi* test "Why you haven't spoken to me for 4 months"?

Your response is like a keyboard warrior.
Now did you guess that she is not hot?
Maybe is he? Maybe she/he is transgender?
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Default 31-07-2021, 02:54 PM

Don’t be silly. If you didn’t have anxiety about cold approach, you would have spoken to her already… and, you already said it is a woman, so if it isn’t that’s your mistake for writing that. Nor did I say she wasn’t hot. You don’t understand English too good, do you?

That’s the dumbest shit anybody has written on here in a long while.


Peace,

kowalski


Like a stray bullet, you niggas misled
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Default 01-08-2021, 10:12 AM

You want a line, fine. I'll give you something you can use, but it has to be qualified a bit, basically by repeating what kowalski told you.

People focus way too much on openers and hypothetical lines - it's like obsessing about a single line in a conversation is like obsessing about toe position in the wind up in baseball. Then when push comes to shove you go up with your amazing wind-up and it's a bunt with no follow-through.

2 general rules here I always found useful

1. You can't really predict a goddamn thing about how a given person will react to you
2. Talking to people is not a big deal. But the more you treat it like a big deal, the more they'll feel like it is too.

It's pretty unlikely she'll say "Why you speak to me after 4 months". That's your perspective because you've been thinking about it for 4 months. She almost definitely hasn't. Girls get guys talking to them all the time. She is much more likely to be wondering "why is this guy talking to me/hitting on me at the gym?".

So if you want to talk to this girl just be friendly and non-commital. Again, not a big deal. When you see her go:

"Hey, how's it going?"

If she's responsive and talks to you, then you can get out in front of your own imaginary shit test if you like by being like

"Cool, we've never spoken before have we? I'm {name}"

There. Simple. No pressure, won't make things seem weird or like a big deal. From then on you can chat to her when you see her around.

Honestly though, if you're not gonna do this in a friendly kind of way like that, if you want to make this a big deal where you're "approaching" or whatever, best to leave it really. If you go into this expecting to make something happen or "work" right away you'll just make it uncomfortable for the both of you. Which isn't great if you both want to work out there.

Again, just repeating what kowalski said (because it's what we've all ben saying to new people for forever), go out and get some experience talking to girls in a more appropriate setting. If you're obsessing about one line for one girl you happen to see in the gym, chances are you'll need more experience to be able to get out of your own way - and there are better settings for you and other people than the gym to do that in.


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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Default 02-08-2021, 09:18 PM

The thing is, he does desperately want to bang the shit out of her. It will be a big deal to him. It will go no where.

Needs to take kowalski's advice and get used to talking to girls (not one he's be masterbating over for four months).


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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Default 03-08-2021, 10:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by markuk View Post
The thing is, he does desperately want to bang the shit out of her. It will be a big deal to him. It will go no where.

Needs to take kowalski's advice and get used to talking to girls (not one he's be masterbating over for four months).
Well, obviously.Thing is though this is the exact advice we always give. Don't know if you've noticed, but just throwing 'talk to more girls' out there and calling people dumb when they question it has a pretty low success rate for helping people on here too.

It's obvious from how he responded that he didn't take the original thing on board. So better to give him something actionable than for him to get worse information elsewhere. He wanted something to say, so I gave him that, along with reasons why and caveats.

I mean aside from anything else don't you guys get bored giving the exact same advice year after year when it's obviously never used by anyone?


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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Default 05-08-2021, 06:05 AM

Maybe I'm misjudging him and guys like him but he gives the impression he just wants a quick solution. Doesn't want to look at deeper and do any work on himself.
See it a lot here, I doubt he'll even be back to reply to these posts. If he did I'd probbaly give him a little more credit.

I wasn't trying to poo poo your post, I can see it had good intentions.


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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Default 05-08-2021, 12:38 PM

I heard many years ago that gyms were a great place to meet women and even considered joining one myself a long time ago. But now I consider them to be a waste of money joining. Unless you know you are going to meet a lot of women there.
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Default 06-08-2021, 04:55 PM

- Maybe is he? Maybe she/he is transgender?
- That’s the dumbest shit
- just throwing 'talk to more girls' out there and calling people dumb when they question it

No, Stein.


Peace,

kowalski


Like a stray bullet, you niggas misled

Last edited by kowalski; 06-08-2021 at 05:24 PM.
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