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(#11)
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whistleblower's Avatar
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Default 14-12-2010, 06:49 PM

You should have took the Saturday!

I am going to disagree with En1gma's earlier point about it all being on your terms. If she offers you a day and you would like to see her that day then I say go with it. It means she is willing to meet up with you, isn't that the point?


Whistleblower


'The race is long, and in the end, it is only with yourself'
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(#12)
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MASTER PUA
 
Default 14-12-2010, 07:01 PM

You've got to know when to hold em, know when to fold...
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(#13)
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Y45 Y45 is offline
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Default 14-12-2010, 09:00 PM

im really feeling the loe here! thanks guys! this forum is awesome!

ok let me begin by updating some more. so im at work and just as i get in and im sitting at my desk, i get a text from her... she replies to the text i sent her last night! I dont reply until 4 ish and when i do, i ask her a teasing question to which she replies...(its small tlak so im not going into detail). My next text goes stright into travel arrangements, as shes never driven to my area... so i make it easy for her and tell her to get the train to me and then i'll drop her home (no complaints) she agrees and i then rearrange for Saturday. So i took the Saturday she offered. i did feel abit none alfa about it to be honest but hey unless she cancels on me, Im seeing her! Ok lets move on to your comments and questions.

En1gma:
i didnt provide a specific day. i just said "lets arrange something for another time cz im busy Saturday, have you driven to my area before?" ... at which point i didnt get a reply, and yeah by "died a deadth" i meant she didnt reply.

i'll take your pointers on board though. i agree its much more clear, direct and Alfa to say 'this day' 'that day' 'this day'. so noted for future gaming.

the thing is, because there is so less interaction i know very little about her and so i guess i was "trying" to creat conversation. all i know about her is she likes shisha and i dont want to over use that subject cz its what i wanted to do when we're out together... lets see how this turns out.

Wistleblower:

lol, i did, eventually! but the way i did it may have not been the prefered way because it now looks like i rearranged my plans around her.

Midas touch:

Please elaborate...

Y45
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Default 14-12-2010, 10:55 PM

Good work, and dont over analyse the alpha male stuff. I agree its good to appear in control of the interactions and all that but if you get an offer you should take it. She may even be impressed that you re-arranged your plans to see her, its a statement of interest.

Good luck with the date, let us know how it goes!


Whistleblower


'The race is long, and in the end, it is only with yourself'
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Default 15-12-2010, 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Y45 View Post

Midas touch:

Please elaborate...

Y45
Obviously be strong and don't let them control you but sometimes just say "fuck it" and fold. Just give in and go with your heart now and again. I don't like to chase after women, but I've been in that situation, thinking should I call her, or should I just wait for her to call me..? and once in a while I've just folded and called her. And sometimes, it's worked out for the best and I've actually been glad that I did.

I folded and called a girl the other night, when I was waiting for her to call me. It was 02.30 in the morning, so she didn't answer, but she texted me first thing the next morning. Then she messaged me on facebook, actually taking me by surprise and telling me how she feels about me. She said she wants to see me soon for dinner. I said, "Hmmmm, I don't know. It depends if you are going to waste my time or not. If you are going to play games, I will accept nothing less than complete and utter surrender " She responded, "Okay, you win darling." (I said this because she LMRed me last time).

Whilst I can see the logic in seeing her on your terms, I'd say don't be difficult on principle. If you actually did have some plans on Saturday, fair enough... but if you didn't and she wants to see you and that's the best time for both of you, fuck it. Pride is not always your best friend.

Last edited by Midas touch; 15-12-2010 at 01:19 AM.
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Y45 Y45 is offline
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Default 15-12-2010, 12:55 PM

Thanks guys! i will keep you posted. i need some advice on something this girl has done for the second time now.

So when i was texting her yesterday i told her to let me know when she's free so i could speak to her on the phone (we havent done that yet!) i made some excuse about hearing her telephone voicem to which she said she sounds like a 5 year old. So later yesterday its approaching the evening and im thinking " she should have called" ... so i call her instead. No answer. about an hour later she text saying she was out and didnt hear it. this is getting tiring i tried calling her twice and the first time she made some excuse up about having a power cut in her area and her battery is low so she doesnt want it to die.... maybe that was true but i doubt it! lol.

So now i want to text her about it but i dont want to be like "you bitch! i tried calling you twice and both times your fob me off...Bitch! lol" cz thats not my style. i kinda want to be playful so i was hoping you guys can shed some light on what to text her about not answering my calls. she could be really shy about talking to me...HELP!


Y45

Last edited by Y45; 15-12-2010 at 12:57 PM.
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Y45 Y45 is offline
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Default 15-12-2010, 03:45 PM

UPDATE... (please note im doing this for educational puposes)

so i reply back to her text last night apologising for not hearing her phone ring when i called with the following.

[ME]
"its ok, i forgive you for not picking up. But i;ve nevr had my called missed by a girl so often... what do i have to do to get you to answer"...

[HER]
"Dont call ha, hows work? i dont know if i can come on Saturday now so may have to be after christmas! x"

are you serious?! she cancelled on me! what the hell? im trying to figure out why this happend. i suspect that i didnt generate enough comfort what are your thoughts...
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Default 15-12-2010, 04:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Y45 View Post

[ME]
"its ok, i forgive you for not picking up. But i;ve nevr had my called missed by a girl so often... what do i have to do to get you to answer"...
That comes across as a bit needy, I'm afraid to say. There are two ways you could have played it. You could have acted completely unaffected; as if you hadn't even noticed or remembered that she hadn't picked up, or you could have called her on her shit, but with words that make you sound less hurt, for example: pick up the phone next time, or I won't call again.

I would have probably gone for option one because it's a bit early to be calling her shit.
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Default 15-12-2010, 04:30 PM

It definitely sucks when girls cancel on you, it happens so dont beat yourself up too much. It may not be down to anything you did wrong.

Best thing you can do from here, move on and meet some new girls. Get in touch with her after Xmas if you still want to see her by then. Hopefully by that point you will have other options and you wont give her a second thought.

Take the positives, your first # close. Learn from it.


Whistleblower


'The race is long, and in the end, it is only with yourself'
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(#20)
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Y45 Y45 is offline
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Default 15-12-2010, 04:45 PM

Thanks guys im trying to not to beat myself up over it. Im definately better off then where i was when i first got into this. so yeah much to take from it and much more to learn! This has been a great journy and im glad you guys have coached me through it!

what should i reply back to her? i want to sound uneffected by her cancelling. i was thinking...

[HER]
"Dont call ha, hows work? i dont know if i can come on Saturday now so may have to be after christmas! x"

[ME]
"Cool no worries just let me know, have a nice christmas.."

what du think?
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