race and dating
 

So, I post this in the expectation of getting flamed but it's been my experience living in a white majority country:

White British girls show a strong preference for dating only white guys. This has been exacerbated by apps and on-line dating, which allow people to screen based on superficial characteristics. The exceptions I have found are a minority (maybe 10%ish?) that have a fetish/strong preference for a specific other race (arab, south Asian, black usually I notice) AND older women, 40/45 plus, who seem much less hung up on race.

It's rarely talked about because few girls will readily admit racial screening and risk being labelled racist, and it's not something provable unless a girl outright states "I don't date non-whites/browns/blacks" etc. Most girls have too much social intelligence to do that.

I think the more honest we are, the more we can progress. YMMV.

People need to get over these online dating app stats. They aren't representative of the whole sphere of dating. Incels be using it as evidence that short people, BME people etc can't get laid without ever going outside and actually talking to anyone.

But the thing I'm mainly wondering is why are you bringing this up?

Yes, we are also alive and have noticed that racism exists. However, this isn’t it. In general girls aren’t not fucking you because they are racist. Most aren’t racist.

The difference in attraction varies by race / culture. I don’t agree that most white British girls don’t fuck black guys, they do because black guys are cool (stereotypes: hip hop, basketball, big dick, etc). I don’t know one girl who doesn’t fuck black guys. Asians and Arabs is a different story and it is obvious why (stereotypes: oppression of females, smelly, weak, little dick, etc). I know plenty of girls who wouldn’t fuck one. It all makes sense. Those stereotypes are not racism they are generalisations. Just like the generalisation that the guy approaching me with face tattoos and a knife in his hand might be dangerous and I will keep my distance from him. Or the generalisation that the table I’m sitting at is brown when in truth many different shades of brown are the predominant colouring but there are also white bits and black bits and bits where the light catches it funny and they seem red... but if you all me what colour the table is I’ll say “brown”.

Dating apps are not relevant in the way you think they are. If we are in a bar a girl can see that you are a paki or whatever racial slur she is turned off by and that she doesn’t want to fuck you just the same as when looking at your photo. So a racist girl is rejecting you just the same. That’s not the problem with those apps. The problem with those apps is that physical appearance is prioritised by the app which forces the users to base their attraction choices in physical appearance, which is not what girls naturally do, nor is it what they want to do. So they don’t work for either gender. They work for gay males only, because both parties are naturally looks based and all parties understand that is the game and orient themselves appropriately. If you were face to face your other qualities, those that women actually care about, could shine through. But if the race / culture is associated with Islam, quite rightly, those aren’t getting much non-Muslim pussy.

And, the same goes in reverse. In Morocco I got very little interest from native girls and only from those who were looking for someone who could help get them a useful passport. Weird you don’t mention that, maybe you are the racist?

Anyway, we all have negative points. This forum isn’t for people to come cry about them. It’s for people to recognise them and figure out how to work with them.


Peace,

kowalski

Agreed (and I stand corrected) that anecdotally, I've seen blacks guys have more success than arabs, asians and other non-white groups. However, saying "In general girls aren’t not fucking you because they are racist. Most aren’t racist." doesn't make sense when you then say: "Asians and Arabs is a different story and it is obvious why"

Also I don't agree that the attitude "it is what it is" is a reasonable excuse for non-white people (and to a lesser extent black people also) who live in a majority white country, being excluded from the vast possibility of potential dating choices - and likewise for someone who is or MIGHT be muslim, and may well not be, to be similarly excluded. It's just as wrong in the UK or Morocco

I also explain why that’s not racism though. I was still editing. Read the whole thing...


Peace,

kowalski

Racism IS generalisation. Making assumptions based on someone's skin colour rather than content of character/actual conduct. Describing what racism is doesn't make it not racism

I also DID mention the Morocco thing, I believe it's equally bad the other way round. I just don't live in Morocco so it's not the first place I'm going to comment on

No it isn’t.
No you didn’t.

You are a bit dumb aren’t you?


Peace,

kowalski

Yes it is. Yes I did. you are thick

“ Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to physical appearance and can be divided based on the superiority of one race over another”

Educate yourself, dickhead. I’m not surprised no girl wants to fuck you.

Am I racist against the black bits of the brown table because I include them in the generalisation that the table is brown? No, retard.


Peace,

kowalski

Well, you've just stated that someone should be judged on the "content of character/actual conduct", that's not going to happen on a dating site regardless of what race is doing the choosing.

You can't force someone to feel attraction for you, they either do, or they don't, you moaning about it and playing the victim, isn't going to help your situation.

"Google’s English dictionary is provided by Oxford Languages":

racism
/ˈreɪsɪz(ə)m/
Learn to pronounce
noun
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

In your words, a girl not wanting to entertain sleeping with or dating someone, because she thinks that them being asian/arab means they are therefore smelly, in my opinion is racism. YMMV.

Who said no one wants to fuck me - did I say that at any point? Chill bro, cool the anger

Agreed, just as long as we're not in denial that there is a shitload of racism left in dating in the UK despite our notions of being super enlightened.

Or pretend otherwise if it makes you sleep better at night

Racism is not confined to "white" people my friend, many people regardless of their race will stick to their own, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Yeah and it's ugly from any group. But maybe you don't understand maths...if you're in a grouping that's say 5% of the population, and you can date only within that 5%, your opportunities are massively reduced versus being in a grouping of say 80%. If you walk into a club or worse yet go on an app, and you can plausibly only get with 5 women out of a hundred, versus 80...you're cool with that?

What colour is the table, you dumb fuck?


Peace,

kowalski

I'm not getting into your dumb red herring metaphor

lol Learn to engrish.

I’ll see how you react when a Jew runs at you brandishing a machete screaming “I’m going to kill you”. You’ll react based on appearances won’t you... but according to you thats bad. That’s how easy it is to expose your retardedness.

No red herrings here. Only hardcore philosophy. You walked right into it.


Peace,

kowalski

Idiot. Why would a Jew want to kill me? You are bizarre

Those tactics won’t work here. With those words you publicly acknowledged that you have been defeated by a superior intelligence.

Since my first comment all I’ve done is repeat myself which has been necessary because you have failed to read and ingest what I said as a whole.


Peace,

kowalski

That's if you believe the stats available for online dating preferences (which for the most part hasn't anything to do with being "racist" even if it is factual) There's a world of difference between online and offline, so I would get off the dating apps, which for most guys (again, regardless of race) isn't very fruitful.

I'm unironically cool with that.

I think the way you're skewing this here is wrong but it's really not the point here. If for the sake of argument we just assume you're right here - then what exactly? It shouldn't stop you from doing whatever you want to do. I don't see any point in bringing it up unless you want to have a pity party about it

Where is your data from?

inb4 personal experience

Wise words and I agree. To clarify my position, it's the denial that it's going on, and that it is the denying of opportunities to someone based on their skin colour, that is my issue. The problem is one thing but what really vexes me is hearing it doesn't exist.

You can make an argument for dating preferences based on age, height, build, etc. being legitimate, based on rational/practical terms, far more than you can race. Even then I have a lot of sympathy for people who suffer on those criteria. So how people think it's ok to rule someone out based purely on skin colour is beyond me

Also I think it is far more a result of conditioning than we think. If girls were bombarded chinese James Bonds, indian footballers, arab Tom cruises, etc. I suspect they would have broader tastes

Anything is legitimate in attraction. If you aren’t into something, you aren’t into it and that’s that. You are even more retarded than the other guy.


Peace,

kowalski

You have some real anger issues man. No need to be hateful bro, you have problems

lol the retardedness multiplies with every post.

Does Charlie Brooker have anger issues?

You may not be aware of this but most people can type any words without feeling anything. I can type “ooohweee I’m angerrrryy” without actually being angry. You can’t determine anything about someone’s emotional state from the words they type. That's so obvious, why do you need that explaining to you? Because you are retarded af, you dumbass piece of shit.

I can’t even remember the last time I was angry. I don’t hate you, I’m merely accurately describing you. You can’t write more than 59 words without contradicting yourself. That’s how this works. You’ll never figure it out.


Peace,

kowalski

Nah man, that’s not quite right. Looks in general are secondary to women. They might have a preference about looks but really they are using the look as a sign of other qualities they are after: protection, money, intelligence, artistic ability, etc. And they’ll be open to almost anyone with those qualities with little regard for looks.


Peace,

kowalski

More evidence of your issues. Keep lying to yourself bro

Good points, the two qualities I find women rate above all others are humour and confidence. Confidence to declare your intent as well (i personally found that being direct ismore effective than anything else, as long as you don't cross the line into sleazy/creepy) and confidence generally with your views, path in life, things you're doing, etc. And humour in terms of making them laugh preferably in a non-needy way.

The question is whether you get a chance to show those qualities or not. I.e. a fair chance

What constitutes a fair chance? What aspects aside from race would you like women to be neutral about in order for you to consider it fair? And how do you plan on ever making that happen in a way that is also fair to them? For that matter what arbitrary preferences of yours are you willing to overlook in order to be fair to them?

It comes down to whether you believe racial profiling in dating is because someone just doesn't genuinely like the aesthetic, or whether you think it is based on connotations the skin colour brings. If not going out with a black, brown, yellow guy etc. is exactly the same as not liking a small nose, big nose, toned body, skinny body etc then I'm cool with that.

What i'm not cool with is avoiding certain races because you think skin colour comes with certain (lower) status, behaviours, etc. You disagree?

Perhaps I should have explained this in my initial post BUT my experience is that racial preferences in dating comes very often (not always) from pre-conceptions of what said person behaves like: social status, background, etc. NOT because girls like a specific shade of skin because it looks nice. I don't even think the prejudice is conscious a lot of the time, so much of it is learnt. Bring on a coloured James Bond or a chinese Bruce Springsteen

I don't disagree with that. But I don't think you can ever have a real way of separating aesthetic preference from those associations. People often aren't even conscious of the associations they hold, why something is or isn't attractive to them etc on a conscious level, and they certainly aren't in control of the things they are attracted to on a subconscious level.

The thing is fundamentally all dating preferences are going to be due to associations we've built up in our mind. They are discriminate between people in a bunch of arbitrary ways, but if we're going to treat people with respect for their autonomy we have to treat them as valid. Now if we're talking about long term cultural changes to make things racially egalitarian, I'm on board, but for the time being it's no one's place to treat people's personal preferences as in some way invalid.

Which brings me to the thing I've been wondering since the jump. Why did you post this? What prompted you to? And what do you, on a personal level, plan on doing about it?

That’s not an argument, dickless. My points stand.


Peace,

kowalski

Jesus crap. I didn't realise this kinda high risk activity (on the guy's behalf) still happened. It's basically like money is no option. I'd dread to think what'd happen if he lost his money.

Do you reckon one should go around London deliberately looking as ridiculously rich as possible then?

I was thinking for hilarity:
- A suit and trousers made out of cash (supergluing 20 pound notes to it as a bonus)
- golden fedora
- loads of golden chains and bling
- Shoes with goldfish at the bases as an added thing to increase perceived height
- perfume that smells of money

On the subject of race. I always find foreign European women far easier to approach than British women. I also have far less approach anxiety when I hear a woman with a foreign accent as well. There are loads of European women in London as well.