Girl with other dude
 

Hello. I am new here. I registered because I have a very specific question.

I am in my early 40's and have a rotation of MLTR and some sporadic FBs.

I never comunicate directly the kind of relationship I have with them and keep the things casual, and it works fine for me.

I assume the girls are seeing other guys, and I'm fine with that, even with the ones that I have a more deep conection.

Recently, I added a woman (33) to my roster, and everything was going smoothly, until...

She started introducing me as her boyfriend, which I have no problem with, I don't care. The problem is that she is having sex with her married employer (she doesn't know that I know). I would normally not care about it, but the fact that she introduced me to him as her boyfriend, and that they keep it behind my back makes me feel beta and somewhat betrayed. I wouldn't care about it if I didn't know the guy.

I don't know what should I do in this case, as I enjoy her company and the sex, but somehow, it irritates me that she thinks of me as some beta, and that somehow I am the beta bucks in this situation (even when I don't contribute economically at all, and all our "dates" are either 50/50 or she pays for it all).

I also fear that she might get pregnant (baby rabies age) with the other dude and pin it on me, as I ignore if she has protected sex with the other dude (I have protected sex, but this has happened before).

This feels a lot like oneitis, even though I have other women I am having sex with.

I don't know if I should ignore this situation and just enjoy her company and the sex, as I do with the other women, or if I should just end this relationship. Or maybe other alternative I've not seen.

I appreciate your input.

Interesting situation. It's good you're coming from a place of abundance, and I can see why you're in 2 minds. It's been a week though, have you done anything?

I'll answer in more detail if you reply an update, but for me I would have brought up the 'boyfriend' label ASAP and put a boundary there. Could come back to haunt you when you clear have no intention of exclusivity.

Thanks for your reply.
As an update: I mentioned in a casual conversation that I know a pretty woman like her is bound to have many men chasing her, and that I have no intention of being a jelous controlling guy, and that she can do whatever she wants.

Other than that, I haven't done anything about it, but I've tried to work on myself and my own feelings. I also met with a couple inactive FBs to have more options.

How did she respond to that?! Are you thinking about her while with other FBs? Then it's a real problem.

I think the main issue is her taking this assumed 'he's my boyfriend' position. It's like she's saying 'Because i'm the alpha, I'm deciding that we're in a relationship. Also because i'm the alpha, I'm going to bang other(s) without telling you. If you put take back one of those things you should regain your self-respect, obviously the 2nd isn't worth trying to stop.

If you don't address it, how you going to feel when she's putting up pictures of you both on social media and tagging 'bae'? Would be game over.

Goodluck mate, glad to hear you're already working out this mini-mess already.

I am not thinking about her while with other women, I agree that would be a big problem.

I think she introduced me as her boyfriend because she comes from a tradicional family, and that's the way to justify to herself and others her fucking with me.

Of course she doesn't have to justify fucking this other dude, as it is not a public matter, and supposedly nobody knows (I found out because one of her coworkers told me).

She is not going to tag me in social media or anything like that. We agreed to that, and at least in that regard, I believe her.

What I still have a conflict with is not the fact that she is banging this dude. It is that somehow I feel that she might perceive me as the beta, while the other dude is the alpha.

Maybe I'm overanalizing this situation, and I should just keep enjoying her while it lasts. I think I might still have some socialization that makes me compare myself to this other dude, or something. Usually I'm the guy on the other end.

I am not in love with her or anything, I was about to end it with her, but that's why I wanted to read some opinions. I think the whole problem is in my head, and I should work on myself.