Giving Space / Winning back
 

Hi All,

Was talking to this girl online around 3 weeks before we met due to lockdown and various commitments in my schedule.

Went on a first date, and ended up hers. There was some LMR saying she wanted to see me again and didn't want it to be just a one night stand.

During the week I noticed the trail go cold a bit, so I outright called her out on it asked what's up in a pretty direct way. She opened up that there's a lot of stuff going in her life, but she's also afraid things are be going too fast emotionally, and it already feels too much like a relationship after only a few dates. We agreed to go for a drink on Friday night without staying over. I called on Tuesday night to solidify the plans and she was really cold on the phone, said there was a lot going on but wanted to meet.

I personally didn't feel the vibe was there and didn't fancy spending my Friday playing therapist.., so said it would best to skip meeting for now as she's clearly not in a good place and maybe speak another time.


Ideas on how to move from here? I'm thinking no contact, date other girls and see if she starts chasing me up again due to the no contact. If she's made no contact in a month or so, just ping some funny value-added texts to see if there's any vibe worth warming up before killing off the number.

Normally would I would just discard at this point, but she's the kind of the girl I got into the game for.. cute, intelligent, thin and I would if I can be curious to take things further.


I'm all ears guys!

“Normally I would just discard at this point, but she’s...”

That’s a lie and it is the correct thing to do.


Peace,

kowalski

Sounds like your going beta male oneitis because you want what you cant have, she clearly has no interest in you, maybe buyers remorse? But i suspect she isnt interested. Forget her, shes too flaky, move on.

Agree with both of the above. I went out and got with some new girls to clear my head and feel 100% better.

I definitely was too keen too quick, working on focusing on this with new approaches.

I've had this shit happen before and I imagine sometime in the future it will happen again... we all slip from time to time. In your view is there anyway of rectifying situations like these when they happen? It seems like a shame to not have a tactic on hand to better manage these slip ups when they happen.

Yes it does happen, occasionally someone comes into your life that blows you away and we weaken a bit and put them on a pedestal. What you need to do is come from a mind set that you value yourself more than you value her, she has to prove herself to you, she has to win you over and prove herself worthy of your time, you are the prize she has to work to win over.
Once you come from that kind of mindset you will lose the neediness and come across higher value, different from the rest of the kiss arse blokes.

Wow, that’s awesome, cashewcrass. So what happened? How did you do that?


Peace,

kowalski