what I learned from PUA lessons
 

After spending two days with a PUA in Brighton I thought I'd share what I learned from him in case it helps anyone here.

He was 41 and amazing because he made the girls we spoke to feel secure and relaxed immediately, in a fun way.

He said that when he approaches a woman he doesn't want her number or anything from her, just to make her smile and connect on something for a second. Then, he will consider if he will make her day by asking for her details, sounds arrogant but it's a type of inner strength and helps stay confident.

As he approached a girl he told me to think about 'shock and awe', very confident attitude which is disarming for her, not loud or arrogant, just decisive. Anyway, I struggled a lot as I am not confident and didn't know what I should say. He told me about a friend of his who has lucid dreams and compared a computer simulation with real world, no one would be shy in a simulation (game) so why be shy here!

Obviously there was a lot more involved but overall, I started to 'act' extremely calm and with his help began to connect with girls in very creative ways. My confidence grew a lot and asking for a number has gone from a terrifying prospect to an 'intriguing' question where I am fine with a yes or no.

He also coached me to feel like a loving, cool uncle as I approached, which really made things easier, I started to actually care about something with the girls, such as genuinely wondering how they are getting on with their job or something. This is a good approach technique to help mental calm. I am not explaining well!

Watching him constantly for 2 days really rubbed off on me and I find talking to girls a lot of fun now which definitely gives a lighter and easier feel to the whole situation.

Sounds like good advice, light positive validation with your opener is the key, so you don't come across as too needy and showing too much intention and have the mind set of not expecting too much of the outcome, otherwise you WILL come across as desperate and needy and is a huge red flag and her defences go straight up.

I'm a great believer in push/pull if it is done correctly with a little subtle positive validation for your pull (not her looks, she gets that all the time, validate something about her like her clothes, dancing etc) and equally subtle negative validation your push just enough to make her think, is he hitting on me or not? This helps to keep her defence down but do it with fun and banter or you come off as creepy and a dick.

Good luck with you newly learnt skills.