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-   -   Hyena or a case of galloping schizophrenia ;-) (https://www.puaforums.co.uk/general-chat/42294-hyena-case-galloping-schizophrenia-%3B.html)

marilino5 30-12-2019 02:42 PM

Hyena or a case of galloping schizophrenia ;-)
 
Introduction: festive dinner with colleagues.

I am sitting in front of her (let's call her Hyena) and for about 2 hours we talk and laugh as hard as I can. We are the only 2 singles in the group. All perfect!

In order not to embarrass Hyena, at the time of the greetings, I greet and kiss like the others ... In the evening I call Hyena, I remind her how well we were together and I invite her to the cinema 5 days later (since in the middle there is New Year, etc etc): accept with enthusiasm and we agree to ONLY establish where.

The next day we exchange nice messages (in line with lunch) and I propose to hear from you by phone. Accept.

Here comes the fun part ....

We talk amiably (25 minutes) until she tells me that she has changed her mind about cinema. I ask her why and Hyena tells me that she likes to watch movies at home .. I tell her very well: let's see a movie at home. But no, maybe it's cooled. Okay, let's do more I tell her. SHe doesn't know, because maybe she has to go elsewhere with her family. In a word: a slew of buxxxit ...

We agree that she will let me know but at midnight yesterday I have an intuition and I write her a message: "I thought about our conversation and we leave it alone, it will be for another time".

This morning she replies: "don't think about it. We'll see in the next few days. If we succeed, I'm glad."

For me it is a case of galloping schizophrenia, since she could have made me understand that she was not interested during the first call. What do you think about it?

p.s.: sorry for my horrible english...

Stein 30-12-2019 11:40 PM

Movie dates give off a weird vibe. Like when you think about it by pretty much any metric you pick it's not a great idea. The only reason people do it i because cultural tropes have taught them that's what a date is, which is also the problem here.

The central issue here from what I can put together is you've asked her on a "date date", which feels like a bit much to most people. Like if I met a girl and chatted to her then she asked me to go see a movie I'd be apprehensive myself for that reason. THen even when you pulled back it felt a bit serious, which is just the opposite side of the same coin.

The rule here to bear in mind is nothing's a big deal. Pulling back a little's better than doubling down, but again, it all feels kind of serious. Your aim is to be in a state of mind where hanging out with a girl isn't some big thing, and if a girl doesn't want to meet then cool, you've got your own stuff happening and you'll catch her at some point.

Ease up on it for a few days, pick something you actually want to do, but preferably something where you two can interact instead of starting at a screen. Message her and ask her how she's doing then go "ah, there's this thing/place I wanna go to, fancy coming along?". If she says yes cool, if not, no big deal. Simple.

marilino5 31-12-2019 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stein (Post 126290)
Movie dates give off a weird vibe. Like when you think about it by pretty much any metric you pick it's not a great idea. The only reason people do it i because cultural tropes have taught them that's what a date is, which is also the problem here.

The central issue here from what I can put together is you've asked her on a "date date", which feels like a bit much to most people. Like if I met a girl and chatted to her then she asked me to go see a movie I'd be apprehensive myself for that reason. THen even when you pulled back it felt a bit serious, which is just the opposite side of the same coin.

The rule here to bear in mind is nothing's a big deal. Pulling back a little's better than doubling down, but again, it all feels kind of serious. Your aim is to be in a state of mind where hanging out with a girl isn't some big thing, and if a girl doesn't want to meet then cool, you've got your own stuff happening and you'll catch her at some point.

Ease up on it for a few days, pick something you actually want to do, but preferably something where you two can interact instead of starting at a screen. Message her and ask her how she's doing then go "ah, there's this thing/place I wanna go to, fancy coming along?". If she says yes cool, if not, no big deal. Simple.


first of all thank you for the lucid analysis that I share almost totally ...
What if I propose that after the cinema we go to dinner? at that point I could offer her to spend a day (maybe the next day) together with the goal of f-close ... what do you think about this idea?

marilino5 03-01-2020 05:47 PM

LAST HOUR UPDATE: she sent me this message half an hour ago: "Hi Marilino, how's it going? I haven't left anymore. What about you? We won't be able to see the film these days ... I have too many family commitments ;-) "
what i should do? HELP ME !!!

nothing 07-01-2020 10:11 AM

You could ask to see her for 15 minutes between family commitments and have an espresso. From what I understand she insinuated that she would like more and that going to the movies is not her thing. She is interested. It's not the time to play hard to get, I think the best move is to see her as soon as possible and not fade. Tell her you have to see her for 15 minutes and figure out something that feels important to a woman to tell her during these 15 minutes. If you're lucky, she will call you after the family commitments and ask to see you at night.

When you see her for a few minutes, tell her something personal about you that is related to her. Something like "i was looking in the mirror and I thought I heard your voice calling out for me from the other room, telling me to ......." or something like that, or how you think about her, a scenario in which you would see her, inspired by her way of being. Something like "when I think about you, I see you dressed in a beautiful blue dress, praying in a dark chapel that your lord will come safely from battle" or something that you see her doing. It will make her day and she will not be able to stop thinking about you while on family commitments.

marilino5 07-01-2020 10:40 AM

Latest developments: I send this message to Hyena: "Amazing start of New Year, don't you? No problem, I am also overwhelmed in these days ... we will have time to meet in the future, if there will be still a future since WWIII is going to break out"
And she replies after 2 seconds: "Hahaha! I will see you soon, dear! Goodnight"
I have not replied and at this point I decided to freeze her, in the sense that when we'll meet live I will greet her amicably but I can find 10,000 better than her ;-) .... what do you think?

Alsido 08-01-2020 08:16 AM

in my opinion you guys need to get off these whats app chats just push to meet. If she rejects couple of times without good reason or any show of interest to arrange other time forget and move one.

"Hahaha! I will see you soon, dear! Goodnight"

dear, darling, honey, love, baby etc... its common then girls use these words in texting. It just show that girls trying to manipulate you. just accept them as non existent words in case you already dating that girl.


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