Struggling to Advance in PUA
 

Hey guys, just joined. Hope all is well with you.

TL;DR Version: I want to improve with my social skills so I can be social without being treated badly and I want to date hotter girls.

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I've been in pua since 2012 but I'm hitting some serious walls. Namely, I can't seem to get routines to work as they are always disingenuous and come across badly.

I'm a decent natural but can only get 6's with the occasional 7-8.5's

I currently have a FWB/girlfriend of 2 months (it's actually my longest "relationship")

Have trouble with socializing and it comes down (again) to me being genuine and authentic asshole rather than a fake person.

I've read "how to win friends and enemies" 3 times but I noticed a lot of the advice is "beta" i.e. got people treating me badly. At least the way I am now people pretty much leave me alone which is preferred to being treated like shit but I'd obviously rather have friends and lots of girls. It just seems out of reach at the moment.

I'm wondering if anyone can relate or knows how to be a social guy without getting shit on. I'm not joking any time I get social I end up getting attacked verbally or treated badly. So that's why I tend to remain aloof asshole but I want to level up and improve my life. And that is why I am here.

I appreciate the time and help.

Mate, Where are you from?

I'm living in Alberta, Canada. Not from Australia (assuming you are?)

You made that assumption off the use of the word "mate"? The kid has exactly 3 posts on the forum and in 1 he states his city in another his neighbourhood, his third is the one in this thread.

Why did you do that?


Peace,

kowalski

Just trying to be friendly. I haven't had much time to read the whole forum for specific users and where they live.

Think about the underlying assumptions here. You're basically equating being social with being treated badly. Why?

Routines don't work. They are always disingenuous and are almost bound to come across badly. You don't get better at them. You ditch them.

I mean I hate scales, I think they're dumb as hell tbh, but getting what you mean, how often do you see someone who's legit a 9 or 10? Like if you're a promoter in Vegas and that's a problem you might be doing something wrong, but in Alberta or the UK you have to go to specific places to even find a bunch of 9s tbh. That could easily just be that.

I've read "how to win friends and influence people" but never heard of "how to win friends and enemies". Ditch the term "beta" also. No one with their shit together who's happy with themself thinks in those terms. That whole paradigm screams insecurity.

Again, you have this ground assumption that if you're open with people you'll be treated like shit. You can use practicing game to test that assumption. You'll find it's not true, and even if it is you're just in the same place you're at already.

Can you give an example of you being social and people shitting on you? Genuinely curious.

Wtf man? I don't even know where to begin with your post. Instead of meeting me where I live you go into full lecture mode. Not impressed.

Like I said, whenever I HAVE opened up I DO get treated badly. It's not an assumption is a fucking fact. You seem to assume I've never tried to open up or be social before. That is completely wrong. I have cold approached more than 200 women before I realized this was a fact. And in fact, you reacting the way you did is yet more proof of me being attacked as soon as I open up.

Unless I read something more helpful and less asshole I'm not coming back to this forum.

Lol wow, okay, no need to take it so personally. Let's go through then.

This is confusing. Not sure what you mean by "meet you where you live". This is probably a mistranslated idiom if English isn't your first language maybe?

But you posted in the part of the forum where people discuss, ask questions and offer advice, not arrange to meet. You asked if anyone knows how to be a social guy without getting shit on. I do so I offered my opinion on what you said. I normally write long posts because I like to be thorough and address everything. Not sure what else you were expecting.

It's not necessarily a fact. Regardless of who you are, you have no objective way of knowing exactly how you're coming across to a given person or their intentions in the way they react to you. All these things are coloured and skewed by our own subjective experiences and interpretations. Bearing this in mind and assessing your ground assumptions on such things is useful to do no matter how good you are.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that's actually not that much. If you go out 3-4 times a week and do 10-15 approaches you can do that in a month, and that's a pretty common level of volume.

Most people working at this get negative reactions around that stage. I did. But the key to getting better is realising that you're working on reading and interpreting social situations better. That's most of what game is. Gradually, by talking innumerable people for a long time, you slowly develop and read situations better, adjust and get better reactions. That's how it works.

I'd say it more proves my side. It wasn't an attack on you, you just read it that way. Anyone else here think I was attacking this dude or being out of order?

I mean I said you either were or might be wrong about stuff, but if you want to improve you need to find out the things you're getting wrong and correct them. A pervasive and hard to correct type of mistake, in particular, is something you've assumed to be true or useful when in fact it isn't, and most of mine fell into that category.

Sorry dude, got nothing against you but you're being too sensitive about this. If you can't take hearing on a forum that you might have a skewed view of game then you're going to really struggle to progress.

I mean, suit yourself, but you should probably just chill out and not take it so personally dude.

So, I live in Canada. Born and raised. Use google to find out what "meet them where they live" means.

As for the rest, it's just frustrating all around. "How to win friends and enemies" was a typo. I did of course mean the Carnegie book "how to win friends and influence people.

Now, to go into what I'd like: Instead of "do this, do that, stop doing this", I'd rather have insight into situations I come across. If this is the wrong place to post this then where do I post that?

Finally, I like the term "beta" because it suits my understanding of the world. I work as a door-to-door marketer and have talked to hundreds of people every year (I count this as separate from pickup because I'm not soliciting my "services" if you know what I mean). The point I'm trying to make there is that I've noticed the more "beta" you are at the door, the less likely you are to get a sale. There is a certain energy that can be considered beta and another energy for alpha. I know this because I've field tested it for 5 years on over 1,000 people, I'd wager. It's just a constant. Beta is a thing, Alpha is a thing, sorry if you don't like it but this is in fact another gripe I have with the PUA community lately, the PC movement and us being afraid of what we are.

I don't wish to rant so I'll stop there. Although I will say seeing that Julien Blanc got married has me running out of good PUA role models. I don't support marriage, never will, and think there's something wrong with a man when he agrees to it.