Does kissing/getting number always indicate enough attraction?
 

Many times I've met a girl in a bar, got talking to her, we kissed, I got her number, kept talking, decent rapport, then she goes back to her friends/I go back to my friends.

Then I text her the next day, and..... nothing. Or maybe a bit of texting back and forward that eventually dies out.

It seems to mostly happen with the youngest, hottest girls.

What's going on here?

Is it a lack of attraction? I would think that if she was willing to kiss me then there was enough attraction to take it further if I got everything else right?

Is it their age? Often 10 years plus younger than me, but I look younger than I am and I lie about my age...

Is it a lack of rapport/connection? Sometimes my conversation can be a bit flat/awkward.

Ok I've given very limited information here, but in your experience, what do you think is the most likely explanation? Thanks!

In my experience, if you don't end up in bed, kissing can turn on a girl's ASD (anti-slut defence). Most of my lays happen first date or not at all with very few exceptions. But I've lost a LOT of girls after we made out on the first date (sometimes very heavily) and then parted ways. They then ghosted me.

First you said decent rapport, then you said your conversation lacks luster/is flat and awkward. I would say that if you had better connection the results would be different. When I say connection I mean something different from rapport. Something you have in common, something deeper than the natural tendency of the body to become in sync with another body.

Then you go back to your friends and she goes back to her friends, meaning you don't feel like spending more time with each other.

4 tips:
1. find something in common with her for a real connection, not just rapport
2. when you go back to your friends, say something like "What are you doing later tonight? I (really) feel like spending more time with you NOW, but maybe it would be rude to your friends to steal you, maybe talk more tomorrow or later tonight?"
3. make eye contact with her a few times EVEN AFTER you #close and/or kclose. You can be sure she is trying to make eye contact with you. If she isn't, go over there on your way to the bar or the bathroom and touch her slightly to indicate that she is more than just a kiss and a random number, let her know you're still thinking about her
4. don't talk to other girls in the bar except the ones in your friend circle

If you have trouble creating a real connection with someone, try letting your guard down just a little bit, let her know something about the real you, maybe not lie about your age? That just shows you're insecure and manipulative, real people don't want that kind of person around.

Moments come and go, don't read to much into it. Be prepared (meaning: be battle hardened) and take your chances when they are available. When they're gone they're gone.

In that moment there was the momentum of the party. We've all been "fuck yeah, I'm down" when we are in the moment and there's the momentum of a party and probably chems are involved. But we aren't gonna sign up for the same thing on Tuesday evening 9pm when you drop her a text.

Don't be confused by this.

It shouldn't be confusing.


Peace,

kowalski

Our routine-reciting, fedora-wearing forefathers used to call this "buying temperature". It's why it's generally a good idea to stay out till closing time and take numbers as a low-priority plan B.