how do I avoid being seen as the "provider/wallet" AND not a cheapskate?
 

I am slowly getting over this but in the past I have always felt that I should do the buying.

It is obvious from the way I come across that I am not poor. I do not go out of my way to advertise that I am wealthy (I am not) but I do not come across as someone who is hard up. Just as some background I do not wear "label" (D&G, Armani etc etc) but it is clear that my clothing is quality material.

I have always been at a bit of a loss of what to do when inviting a chick for a drink or a coffee on how to handle it.

Any advice?

Last week I met a HB8 and we went for coffee, when it came to paying I just paid for my own and after a short silence she paid for hers, no issues at all.

Then on another occasion I bounced a chick to a bar and we went for one drink and I gave her some money and asked her to get me what ever she was having. She then gave me my change. Next time I think she should buy the first round but how can I mention the subject without it being an issue?

I need to say something like, "I got the last round so this one is on you". I have no doubt that she will buy the drinks but I just want some advice on how to broach the subject.

many thanks people.

Avon

Sup man

I think your worrying alittle too much about this . Your a man , and if you are confident in yourself (which you seem to be) you should have no trouble with this ... A very simple resolution here .

If you feel that she should get the next round in or if you've met her in a bar and you want her to buy YOU a drink . She should be aware of this and just through the way you interact you can get this across . The main point is , don't make it out to be a big deal !!

For god's sake don't say 'i got the last round in so you should get these in' or 'it's your round' . Just when you hit up a bar or coffe place wherever ... simply just tell her what you want .. no issue , your well aware that she's getting the drinks in because she likes you and that's just how it is ! If you start telling her WHY she should get the drinks in you appear chode .

Basically what we're doing is a) being Alpha which is always good as your being decisive and taking control and telling her what you want and b) your showing her that your not going to pander to her every need in pursuit of what's between her legs !

So ... it's not a big deal (do not make it out to even be an issue , dont give reasons why she should get them in ... You command respect enough to know that she is getting you a drink)

Simply tell her what you want as though it was implied she was getting them ...

Then she will think a) this guy isn't a pushover and b) he's in control and he's a man !

Oh and final note , if she brings it up e.g 'oh so you just assume im getting them am i ??' you can then just be playful and say something like 'of course , cos you like me' cheecky smile ect ... She cannot in anyway not get you a drink then as your put her in a role and if she doesn't she will appear cheap and abit of a bitch !

Fun times , trust me man that will be fine ... oh and ! Women buy you drinks all the time so why should she be different ;)

Good advice Swype. I just needed some pointers on what to do and what NOT to do.

I agree i should certainly not say "I got the last round so this one is on you" eve though that is the message I want to get across.

I just want to get out of this "provider/wallet/ supp" impression that I am giving. Make no mistakes, it is entirely my own doing, no body is forcing me to behave like this. It is a role that I fall into and then I complain about.

Now that I am aware of it I should try and avoid it, diplomatically without coming acros as a cheapskate.

On another similar note; I was in a club once at the bar, a HB7 looks over gives me the eye and then says "you going to buy me a drink then" to which I replied "No"

HB: "Why not? you look as though you got money"
Me: "So, whats that got to do with anything"

She then proceeded to call me cheap after finding out that I was a banker....

Anyhow, she managed to persuade a similar looking guy to buy her a drink, a glass of champagne and then after spending about 2 mins with him she walks off. He is stood there thinking "what the hell happen here, where has she gone".....

just an amusing story..