Why does attraction fade when they know you like them?

[Neuropa]

Alright guys,

Just as the title states really, this is by no means a plea for help, I just love to think about stuff and discuss and I wondered what some of your brilliant minds think about the below:

A while back I was out with my social circle, and I had selected my target for the night - a sexy little red head with a great sense of humor.

To cut a potential FR short here, I was being CF all night, she was hugging buying me drinks dancing sexy with me, feeling each other up etc but when I went for the kiss I got nada, kept teasing her, she was letting me rub her pussy through her jeans and touch her all over but no kiss (She has a BF by the way and she has cheated on him before, but she said she doesn't want to cheat again) - I do know a few things that fucked this up for me (I had way too much to drink, I stopped being CF once I was trying to escalate and because I was so drunk my escalation was like from 0-100 in the space of ten mins, oops), since that night she still speaks to me absolutely fine and we are still mates, but "something" is different.

I have a policy of never going after the same girl twice, if it doesn't happen the first time its a next, but I see this girl alot and I just wonder what do we think it is that makes this big change happen?

Does finding out you're attracted:

- Kill the sexual tension?
- Make you look totally AFC?
- Does it ruin the game for them?

Granted this could be a different case altogether, this girl does still try very hard to get my attention sometimes, as I am the alpha of our social circle, but she sometimes loses her temper with me very quickly (which she does to no-one else, and I always punish her by withdrawing my attention until she behaves properly).

Speaking with other PU minded folk the general consensus is that she does feel generally guilty about cheating on her BF before, didn't want to do it again and is attracted to me but on some level is mad at me for being attracted? Sounds kinda stupid to me, I'm of the opinion that my failed PU has made her see me as AFC and lose attraction.

Lets hear your thoughts and your experiences in this subject as it does interest me.

[Loke]

She has a BF and does not want to cheat
You also stopped doing what worked, and went to drunken monkey style

Without having the answer, it seems she is attracted to you, but feels guilty about it and when you escalated that fast you ran head first into her LMR wall and instead of dealing with it you rammed your head into it repeatedly.

[cha]

lol at 'drunken monkey'

This is interesting to me, as I'm in a similar situation, and she's admitted she really likes me, and that he bf is cool, but lacks spark.

Now do I confirm that I really like her?
Or just step back

[Neuropa]

Originally Posted by Loke

Without having the answer, it seems she is attracted to you, but feels guilty about it and when you escalated that fast you ran head first into her LMR wall and instead of dealing with it you rammed your head into it repeatedly.

Haha, thats a brilliant way to put it, I've heard of people trying to barge their way through LMR before and that is exactly what I did. After seeing the good response I was getting I just assumed it was in the bag.

Originally Posted by cha

lol at 'drunken monkey'

This is interesting to me, as I'm in a similar situation, and she's admitted she really likes me, and that he bf is cool, but lacks spark.

Now do I confirm that I really like her?
Or just step back

I would never tell her you really like her mate, just focus on getting her isolated and escalated.....

[whacksmith]

I'm not sure thats the issue here. Perhaps she has no intention at all of cheating again, but still wants the validation of having a guy jump into her hoops.