Approach Anxiety
 

I'd like to hear your techniques for beating the (usually) biggest barrier in pickup - approach anxiety.

I found that the wing counting down from 10 works a treat for getting you to get your shit together and open a set, but I also found that sets didnt seem to stick as much and they'd fizzle out.

The best technique I've found is for me and my wing to seperate. I'd find myself walking right up to sets left right and centre. Probably because I feel more of a cunt stood on my own than opening, so opening is the easiest option.

Ideas please!...

Well, I've tried counting down from 10, but I find I usually count down from 10 at least several hundred times LOL!

AND

I fell that if I leave it to long, I just feel like an idiot, and a bit like a bottler.

So what works best for me is actually getting into the music, get laughing, and getting adrenaline and good energy bursting around my body. Sharing a joke with strangers that I'm not bothered about cracking onto, just getting confidence generally!

Then walking (strutting lol) to get a good approach angle for the set that caught my eye.

Then Bang! I forgot what I was going to open with! ;)

nice one jaz, I'll get that shit off you.

I'd agree that NLP is useful for building confidence in your life in general. Take a look at a book called 'NLP: The New Technology of Achievement'. It has shitloads of exercises and you can build up a kind of impenetrable state of confidence for yourself.

I agree, Specially Hypnotias Collection of Confidence. I spent a good week going up to random strangers on the street asking them if they were called Zoe or Betty or asking if they knew wheres a good place to buy broccoli. Its amazing the difference after you've got into the habit of doing it.

i read up a fair bit on NLP and i can see how it helps, but the way i got over AA was getting a job flyering for a club.
as part of the job you HAVE to approach people on the street and talk to them, and you do get the cold shoulder often, eventually you realise what they think or do doesn't matter, youre still going to be able to talk to the next few people.
it helped loads with my confidence and now theres very few people i dont feel i can talk to anymore.

Hi guys..

I know this is a really really old thread but as there are lots of new members i though i'd post something i found on yourtube which has really struck a chord with me.

The link below is a Discusses of The Emotion Of Fear (which AA basically is), yes the guy is a religious person, but if you put that aside, what he is saying actually speaks a lot of truth.

Enjoy

Retro

YouTube - Neale Donald Walsch Discusses The Emotion Of Fear

Yeah I'm with Jaz. For me the best thing I can do is open a set straight away. If I do this I don't feel any AA all night, at all. If this ain't possible for whatever reason, and I do feel some AA - I just bite the fuckin bullet and approach anyway! We all know it ain't a big deal to do so and to be honest I find getting blown out in set funny. Also, if I was a pussy and didn't approach a set due to AA, I would be berating myself in my head (schizophrenia anyone?) for the rest of the night - so better just to do it, right?

Ritz

Approach anxiety

This is how I got over my AA. Long ago, before even I heard of the pua community I was a complete fu#k up and very big on the booze to boost confidence, not very practical for meeting the right sort of girl, anyway one thing I was good at was dares. I would do lots of crazy shit, not everything focused on girls, just random stuff. Eventually, I don’t remember how or when…piss head… but I got it organised and created something that became known as the list or the Gene list (my real name). The list was just what it said on the tin… a list of what I know recognise as approaches, and openers. Very funny material. Much of it was street game, although I didn’t think of it as such then. The list contained a few hundred or so challenges and many of them were unintentionally good ice breakers. I used them to get a few kiss closes when I was just a kid and this year after many years break started it back off for a limited run and ended up in bed with the neighbour of a mate. Well if anyone is interested I would like to start a new list centred around PUA community. Ideas can be simple, random, involve teams, props so long as they are legal! And not dangerous or in bad taste. The important thing is it is very fun. It is certain to kill AA and get the heart beating hard! If anyone has any ideas, would like clarification or would like to adapt this in any way please get in touch. once we have a working list, you can just choose a challenge, complete it and move on. it could be easily be adapted to a form of bingo, or challenges could carry pionts reflecting difficulty. It can be very competitive and you can bring in new players. This involves sharing contact details, which evidently is the number close! Lol. Hbs don’t know what hits them and the atmosphere is always at a higher pace to other social groups. The list is legendary in my social circle and we had a few girl players and hangers on, but it also attracted a few groupies from my mates band :) interested? very much suited to people new to PUA

that sounds like a right laugh! Write what you have on this thread or create a new one. Would like to see this!