Fart game, how do you handle farts during intamcy?
 

Serious question, if you spend any amount of time with a woman eventually you are going to need to fart.

Is the correct protocol to be manly about your farts and fart loudly in her direction with confidence of steel and no concern whether she likes you or not?

Or is it better to sneakily hide it however you can? If its the latter, how do you sneakily hide your farts? (this is validation seeking btw which is unattractive, but if you are really sneaky she wont know you are validation seeking or hiding your farts so its still a good option)

Nothing kills intimacy more than the smell of poo and the loud crack of a fart during a close sexual sensual intimate moment.

Or the sound of gas in your gut rumbling about during a dinner date, because you have held your farts in and now they make 5 times as many fart sounds as they collect up and rumble in your bowl, like a tribal drum.

I also find myself with fart stage fright if I sneak off to the toilet to fart when I desperate need to fart I will get to the toilet and then suddenly I wont need to fart again, (but I cant wait too long otherwise she will think im taking a poo which is even worse). So I heavy footedly go back out into the fray of my dinner date sit down and suffer the unbearable uncomfortableness of my farts as they loudly rumble inside my bowel unable to escape due to fear of an even louder sound and smell.

The best solution I have found is make sure you are fully out of poop and then don't eat anything much, this will reduce farts immensely since there will be no bacteria feasting and releasing gas.

So you spend all night or all day with a woman that's a long time to go without farting or eating, how do you hide your farts when they arise?

Laughed the whole way through this

It's even funnier the second time :clapclap:

Finally we're getting to the important issues!!

Personally I used fart like a trooper then I cleaned up my diet and I eat more like paleo than anything, lots of simple meat, veg, fruits, spices and tea/coffee/juice (I did this for both health, financial and environmental reasons), once or twice a week I'll have something a little more junky which is when the farts return

Just like sex with your mum

You fucked your mum more than once? You must be good.