Ethics - Having multiple girlfriends
 

I'm struggling with an ethical issue and I wondered what your guy's opinion are on this. I'm starting to get good at this PU stuff. I've number closed / Fbook closed a load of girls now. A few I've kept in touch with; I'm in regular contact with 3 girls at the moment. I've been quite close to them their houses or been on holiday and they stayed in my apartment. Even though I've had loads of opportunities to sleep them , I haven't. I believe because this ethical quandary I'm hitting. When I get last minute resistance, I take that as an opportunity to bomb out, chill and chat to them (one was driven wild but this! - technically, it was a freeze out on my part – which worked!).

Anyway, I am going to sleep with them. No doubt about that. But it's how I approach how I tell them about the other girls, if I tell them at all. It would have been easier if I was seeing some girls before I meet these girls; I would have told them straight out that I was seeing other girls.

Anyway, my questions are:

1. Do I tell these girls that I'm seeing other girls? If so, how? Now, I'm pretty sure that some girls will take it easier than others but some possibly wont. I'm not going to blurt it out but I'm think about saying it in passing.

2.Shit man! Should I be having sex with all these girls at once? I've never done it before!!! I've only had one girlfriend at one time! It could get complicated! Maybe I should man up and get on with it!

Any advice?

Do they know that you're not after a relationship as in the traditional boyfriend girlfriend way?
If not tell them that you're not after or ready for a relationship like that, which is the truth isn't it?

As for when to tell them there isn't really a set way of doing it but I'd mention it if you're talking about how things are between you, if relationships pop up, when you feel you should before things go further or if you feel its gone on for too long.

I'd say sooner rather than later though, in fact it's best to get that out as soon as possible, like the first time you get together, then there can be no hurt (well a lot less) feelings and she can't think that you are leading her on.

Don't worry too much because you're showing that you are considerate of there feelings but not compromising on your needs. If nothing has been said about what kind of relationship it is then you're laying down what you feel and want, you're the one taking action and clearing things up.

If one of them does freak out then reiterate that you are telling them because you don't want any confusion or to hurt them and you are telling them your position as nothing has been set in stone or confirmed before.

As for telling them if you're with any other girls if they ask tell them, they might not be as surprised as you think my female flatmate goes on loads of dates with different men. Don't act ashamed about it this is your reality, if you want it to be?
I wouldn't rub it in their faces but if they ask them then be straight up and if they get angry or shocked stay calm don't get worked up they may come round to your way of thinking if your reality and belief is strong.

What Tom says is true and make sure that you don't just palm them off after you slept with them with; "I'm not looking for anything right now" as an excuse. My friend used to do this all the time and he ended up hurting alot of girls just because he didn't want to admit to them that he was intending to see other women in the first place. Honesty is the best policy as the longer it goes on the more hurt you can cause.
In fact, you could tell them to read the eminent psychologist "Carl Rogers on personal power". There is a chapter in there about polygamous relationships and how it can be a great and beneficial thing. If you can find enough girls to go along with this then your golden ;)

I knew K would come up with the Ethical answers! ;) Nice one mate! Some good shit there!