Did I deal with this well ?

[markuk]

So one of my ex work colleagues kept messaging me asking how I was doing.
She’s overweight and unattractive; she was nice to work with though a little eccentric. She’s northern and has a lot of tattoos - doesn’t really fit the typical demographic worker in a bank so I did warm to her.

I last saw her in September when I finished my last gig.
She had been messaging me fairly frequently, inviting me to after works drinks. I never bothered going, as I didn’t want to meet the people I used to work with and I was a little dubious of her motives. I did say we should go for coffee but that never materialised.

A couple of weeks ago she left the previous company. She invited me to the leaving do but I declined.

Then last week she messaged me to say she was having a drink in the pub quite close to me with a couple of guys who were also ex employees (This guys were pretty cool) so I said I’d join them.

As it turned out she had extended her stay 1 more week at the employer and this was her (2nd?) leaving do. So I ended up bumping into a lot of the old employees, I wasn’t too bothered about that.

So she’d had a couple of drinks. She kept telling me how much she liked me and kept touching me (pervert). I didn’t reciprocate. I was telling her about my two fuck buddies (maybe gloating a little, maybe foolishly thinking it would put her off).

Anyway at the end of the night as we parted she went to kiss me, I turned a cheek on her (hahah making me smile as I write this).
<Edit forgot to mention she also said 'I love you!'> (awkward)

The following day she messaged me to apologise for being drunk, blah blah.


I blocked her on all my accounts and didn’t respond in anyway.

I was telling this to a mate and his girlfriend and a girl they were trying to set me up with last weekend. They were all having a good laugh (I was too).

They did then say I should have text her to tell her, I only want her as friends.

That’s just bollox really though. I’m pretty sure she only wanted to meet me when beer was involved and she can hit on me (fair enough). I just don’t see any value in hanging out with her.

I’ve never really had female friends as I always think either I want to fuck them or they want to fuck me.

Am I displaying weird / callous behaviour ?

(Maybe I could have explicitly told her I was not interested, but haven’t I done that implicitly by blocking her anyway? Maybe I should have cut off contact after I left my last position in Sept...)

Far too much thought gone into this maybe (but work is slow in the office today..)

[dan300]

I'd already decided I was gunna say the same as this before I got to it..

Originally Posted by markuk

They did then say I should have text her to tell her, I only want her as friends.

Instead of going all kamikaze & blocking everything.

You did go & meet her. Why, if you wanted nothing to do with her & she's not even attractive?

As for the "explicitly telling her by blocking her", no you didn't son. That was ghosting.

[markuk]

I probably did go a bit OTT.

Well she was quite cool to talk with but I don't find her attractive. I guess I wouldn't mind being friends but knowing she fancies me just puts me off.

Anyway not a big deal, I doubt she lost any sleep over it and I know I didn't.

[BroadswordWSJ]

I'd have politely told her not to be too embarrassed about her behaviour, shrug it off but tell her your not interested. You don't even have to say you just want to be friends, just leave it at that.

Ghostingher like that was a tad OTT I think, but if she kept messaging or getting bugging me then Id probably cut all ties eventually as well.