Low-Key openers needed

[brainfreez]

Hey there,

Would any of you guys be able to share some low key, warm up style openers for daytime? I'm thinking stuff like asking for the time, but less lame.

Cheers,

P.S. Please don't post telling me why it's a bad idea for me to be making this request, I'm responsible for my own learning, thanks.

[brainfreez]

Originally Posted by kowalski

Why is asking for the time lame?

I already know why. The question is not to get an answer but to see where your thinking is at.


Peace,

kowalski

I don't need you to see where my thinking is at, I asked for some openers.

[Stein]

A variation on directions I always found quite decent is

'Hey, are you from ___'

I used to use this in London a fair bit, as in 'Hey, are you from London?'. This worked pretty well there as most people you meet in London aren't from London. Thus, conversation fodder.

A cool thing about that is it sort of adapt to your level of experience. It's an empty opener if you like, it doesn't necessarily set you off on one conversational path or another. If you bottle it a bit you can just ask for directions and continue the conversation from there, if not you can just transition straight away into chatting to them. It also disrupts the standard asking for directions preset conversation of ask for directions -> give directions -> leave and gives you a bit more to work with.

As I'm typing this I'm thinking that there's not even particularly special about that as an opener. What 'low key openers' really are when you think about them are 'outers'. It's a way to eject from the conversation with a little veil in front, so it's not explicit what you were doing. SO it's almost better not to front load it and save it as a way to get out if you bottle it.
Example. When I was in uni there was a girls who'd seen me about, was into me and wanted to speak to me. One time, leaving uni, waiting to cross the road she came up and said

'Excuse me, could you tell me what time it is?'

I just said 'half 1' crossed the street and thought no more of it until I saw her at the student union when she was a bit more drunk and courageous. But, if instead it had been:

'Hey, you go to King's right? Yeah, I've seen you about, what you studying? Ah right, do you know Lou Scunt? Or is he in the year under you?'

She'd still have always had the 'outer' of

Anyway sorry, I just needed to know the time, I'm meeting some people round 3'

Or whatever. The conversation would have gone way better, and the same incidental escape hatch is still there.
Just a thought of a better way to go. Do what you like though.

[EamTT]

You will not learn anything from "what's the time?" opener unless you have the courage to break off the mundane topic. Also girls will not appreciate you "tricking" them into stopping and will often walk on as you try to transition. Better to actually communicate your intentions so they know what's up i.e. "Hey, I just saw you and wanted to say hello cause you look a bit unique from all the other girls I've walked past today" something like that will either get you a rejection or a solid hook. If you get a rejection it will be a "man's rejection" and you will feel better for communicating your true intentions. If it hooks then you can see how far you can get (maybe instant date or number..even instant pull is possible..think disabled toilets of coffee shop ). What I am saying is low-risk openers will not help you to learn, in-fact they will discourage you as you are not even in the game as your intentions are not known. It also puts more pressure on the approach which is a good thing as you build mental stamina and "balls", a key component of game. Trust me I have tried low-risk openers and they just don't work.

Pickup is mostly a numbers game. Some girls will be into you, the majority will not. It is your job to identify the girls that don't like you and invest in the girls that do. The determining factor being persistence and not taking rejection personally. Their initial reaction will tell you everything, if their eyes light up you are in, if they scowl you should give statement of empathy i.e. "I know it can be super annoying when some guy approaches you but I was really interested to see what you were like" if she still is off, then say "we'll I gotta go, nice to meet you, ba bye" and that's it. On to the next one, making sure to minimise time between sets, so your brain can't process the rejection and your state stays up.

This stuff is hard. There is no easy way around it, which is what you are looking for. With that in mind value action over everything else. What happens after the approach is irrelevant. But you must state your intention on the approach, or a second best approach would be to make them laugh through a funny observation (best in a group setting). You put yourself out there, stated your intentions and got the response. At the end of the day you revise what you did, how much resistance to approaching you felt and gauge your progress through this measure, not your actual results (as these are unpredictable).

Hope this helps and obviously everyone can make each method work for themselves, I am just giving my opinion.