HBs going flaky over text after I met/slept with them???
Hey guys, been reading the forums for a while now. Plenty of good stuff on here, so keep it up!
I keep running into a problem where most times I get with a hot girl, ie. above HB7, they're pretty flaky texting. Even HB7s I find flaky-ish, but not as bad. For example, recently I travelled to a nearby city (about 100 miles away), and went out to a bar. There wasn't much happening in the bar. Not many hot girls about. Not even many guys. I met this girl (HB8) in the bar. We danced and talked a bit. She went with me and her friends to another bar, then we ditched her friends, and went back to my hotel. We had sex as soon as we got to the room, no LMR or anything like that. We went to sleep and had sex again twice in the morning. She was pretty open minded and I was able to do some pretty rough stuff to her, which we both seemed to enjoy, tho I had a fair amount of drink in me so I wasn't at 100%! Then we had breakfast and chatted a bit. Conversationally, I wasn't quite at my best, but we had a few things in common and had an interesting talk. Then we exchanged numbers and headed home. I sent her this text when we exchanged numbers: ME: Yo She didn't have her main phone so didn't get it right then. She texted back a few hours later: HER: Hey! ME: So you rescued the iPhone then ; ) how was your lunch? HER: Yep I did indeed haha HER: Lovely thanks HER: You get back ok? ME: Yeah I did, got the bus shortly after you left... Doing anything nice this coming week? No reply. I texted her again a few days later: ME: Ello ello, how goes it? I wish it was Friday goddammit... Time to rob a bank and escape to a tropical island ; ) HER: Oh hello there! Apologies for the late response! I've finished for the week lucky me hehe HER: How are you? ME: Damn you and your day off haha ; ) I'm awesome sauce thanks : ) just a very busy day... Long weekend on a tropical island then? Haha ; ) HER: I wish! Really happy today though, I got offered a job : ) woohoo ME: Awesome, well done : ) what kind of job? HER: Makeup artist, at XXXXX HER: Part time HER: If I can make it work, I'd do both jobs ME: Nice one, you can do my makeup when I'm traveling to XXXXX ; ) at least it's near XXXXX, so you might HER: Haha why not : ) ME: I'd look great traveling with make up ; ) lipstick too ; ) No reply. I'm trying to figure out what's going on in her head, I've had too many similar experiences. I'm thinking possible reasons: - the distance - maybe she doesn't see me as worth pursuing because I'm too far away? - not enough attraction - well she was attracted enough to sleep with me, tho there weren't many other options that night if sex was what she wanted - buyers remorse - she didn't seem the type, absolutely no hangups or LMR - not enough rapport/comfort - could be this, although we had stuff in common I wasn't on my conversational A-game for things to really light up - bad sex - probably wasn't amazing because of the drink haha, but I did stuff to her that I'd imagine most guys wouldn't do on a first night, she was making noises like she liked it, and I made her come hard when I fingered her - too busy? - maybe she just doesn't text a lot? Is this something all guys have to put up with and I just have to keep pushing? Any ideas what's going on inside her head? Any ideas what I should do next in this case? - Should I leave it a few days and text her again, keep initiating every so often, and hope she warms up? - Should I leave it and see if she texts me first? Also, as I said, stuff like this happens to me a lot, so if you have any idea why in general, I'd love to know! |
u suck in bed
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What are you actually trying to do here? In like a practical sense, where are you going with these texts? I mean this is some girl you pulled from a bar, and she lives 100 miles away from you. There's a fair few practical limits on that scenario.
I don't know how well you're doing in terms of game, but if you're not where you'd want to be yet, it's probably useful to look at this from the perspective of if you were. If you were seeing a bunch of girls or pulling regularly and had a ton of options, would you be bothering as much with this? I mean in this scenario I might hit the girl up next time I'm in town, but I wouldn't be trying to make a thing out of it. Bear in mind she knows the deal too, and given that she slept with you she probs thinks you're a dude with his shit reasonably together, so that's probs what she's expecting. So like when you say: Quote:
Also, quit trying to be cute. By which I mean: Quote:
Again it's compounded by the fact that it's not even clear what you're driving at or why you're texting her. The irony is for all the effort you're putting in to try and be interesting, a simple 'Hey, how you doing?' 'I'm gonna be back in town this weekend, what you up to Saturday night?' would probably work way better. |
Thanks for the info - this is useful!
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But there have been girls in the past where, for example, I have met them in a neighbouring city, similar to this case, and I followed up with my standard approach, and it worked. There have been girls from nearby where I did the same thing with the small talk, and they also stopped replying. How do you know what to do for each girl? What if she's expecting you to follow up with small talk and you don't and she gets fed up and forgets about you? I find it extremely difficult to know what to do, and I get it wrong a lot. Girls are so unpredictable, you don't know what the right approach for each girl is. And before you know it, you're blowing thru lots and lots of girls failing with most of them, and not having a clue what's going on, not having a clue where you're going wrong, and ultimately not really learning anything... just fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed, fail, fail... seemingly randomly. How do you start to make sense of it all? |
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I'm saying it's as simple as this. If I was this girl and you texted me the stuff above, I would have no idea where you were going with it or what you actually wanted. At no point do you straight up say 'let's meet up again next time I'm in town'. You might think that's implicitly obvious but it's not. She isn't a mind reader bro. It'd be one thing if it was fun spontaneous conversation but it just reads like you're trying to force it, like trying to perpetuate it, and the worst part is it's not even clear why. Bear in mind she's got shit going on, and is probably getting texted by friends, guys, work etc. You might get the occasional girl who'll follow you down the garden path on the offchance, but if a girl was texting me this kind of purposeless small talk I might not engage with it either. Quote:
Key things you should bear in mind is to cut out all the fluff and say what you actually mean. I guarantee that forcing long conversations and avoiding saying what you actually want isn't helping you. When you're texting ask yourself 3 questions:
Get used to thinking like that and you'll find it'll take a lot of the mystery out of the whole thing |
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