Paralysing AA
 

I suck so bad at this, I went out the other night with my friend with the goal of having fun and maybe talking to some girls. But what happened was a lot of dancing and a few drinks, but I didn't open a conversation with a single person that night.... I just gawked as the hottest girls walked past and just thought to myself "I wish I knew what to do/say to her...".

It's got to a point now where I am so completely aware of how useless I am but I still can't have the guts to talk to anyone... I am in some sort of complete paralysis. I went to town today to buy some new jeans as I've lost weight and gone from a 38 to a 32, while I was there I was going to try and make small talk with some strangers.. Couldn't even do that. I was too stuck in my own head so I walked around like a useless twat painfully aware of my own shortcomings that my anxiety is so bad I can't even make small talk with a stranger now.

I do suffer from Generalised Anxiety Disorder (with a history of depression) and I am using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to try and alleviate some of this discomfort and insanity, but jesus have I hit a rock bottom. Every time I go out to town, or see a hot girl walk past or sit there jerkin' off on xvideos I am reminded of my own social shortcomings and inability to attract a girl.

The funny thing is in the past when I was younger and going out with other guys who knew about game I slept with over 30 girls, but most of them were from social group in other words most of them were not from cold approach.

I am just watching myself crash and burn and it feels like I can't do anything about it...

What the hell is wrong with me?

I need an action plan for getting back out there, talking to people, and getting over my anxiety. Would appreciate advice from anyone and especially anyone who has been in the same boat as this and managed to get through it.

I don't know many people where I live now and my closest friends think game is dumb (even though they are useless with women too haha).

I know what to do with a girl AFTER the attraction phase (lol who doesn't), I'm just scared to open my mouth to any stranger it seems now.

Dan

Thanks Kowalski these seem like the perfect small steps I need to start building my confidence back again!

I actually laughed out loud at your suggestion to walk up and say "Hi! I'm drunk arsonist!". It would be priceless to see that reaction! I didn't know what else to post under in these forums so I just used my xbox tag "Drunk Arsonist". Do people still have pick up names like in the book "The game" or is that way too cheesy now?

Anyway man thanks for your advice. Baby steps is what I need and I will make sure to put this into action and start talking to bar/store staff and work it up from there. I do find it easier to chat to guys as you mentioned, I have just always felt really uncomfortable around new girls I meet (especially the most attractive ones!).

I think I'll continue using the forums and write little reports and stuff on my progress :)

Thanks again
Dan

Hi Dan,

Kowalski gave good pieces of advice for you.

Another thing I would add, don't rely on the game, don't think about the game and stop pushing yourself to do "the game".

Instead of that, push yourself to understand social behaviour. The game is nothing else but speaking with girls. "The game" is just a fancy word that some marketing geniuses found to sell their books and technics.

Just go out there, speak with as many people as can or want as long as you get a great interaction out of it...

Pushing yourself to go speak with good looking girls straight away will only worsen your AA. You will be able to do that once you will have social confidence and feel easy to build confidence with most people/girls.

Think of it like a social experience. Don't think about getting laid, don't think about closing girls.

Just be you and someone will like you for that!

thats exactly what i need to do, stop thinking about the end too much and get comfy with just the conversation.

very useful thread and useful forum i have just discovered.