1 Month in the Game - Where do guys often go wrong?
 

Ok, so, I've been into this stuff for just over a month. No I haven't got laid from it! I'm a hard case, I felt like I didn't deserve girls and that I basically just had to wait for the girl to come to me... NOOOO! After hours of watching online videos I've been going out a minimum of once a week. Sometimes twice. Not much right? Well, my social circle is very much a 'stay in the same bar' kinda group. So I'm out doing this stuff alone...

From only a month I've learned a lot and here's where I feel I (and guys in general) fail on when talking to girls;

- Entitlement
- Comfort Building
- Fear of escalation

Entitlement

Entitlement is really what we feel we can get. Do we deserve that 10 over by the bar? Or should we play it safe with a 6? GO FOR THE 10. We need to start believing that we do in fact deserve the 10's. It's easy to say that, but how do we trick our brains? We get proof. Our brains work off of proof not promise. Go and talk to a 10 and don't even care about getting her number or pulling her. Focus on how you feel and what she will get out of talking to you. You'll tend to find that they'll talk to you if you're free from outcome. They can kinda sense you don't want anything from them and usually that's new to really gorgeous girls.

Comfort Building

So, you've opened, you feel confident in the conversation and then you go for the number... BAM. She shuts you down. Why? You've created attraction, but not comfort. She doesn't trust you enough. Its subconscious. This is where I fail and I'm trying to get around it. Mystery really talked about MOVING the girl. So what this means is, if you open at the bar, move her to a different part of the club or venue. A seat or a quieter spot, the smoking area for example. Then just talk as you would normally, escalate to touching her, see how she reacts to your touch. Hand holding is a good way of building that comfort. Don't squeeze her hand and cut off the blood flow! Just gentle guys! Moving her makes her feel like she's experienced more with you, which will really help if you're gonna go for the pull.

Fear of Escalation

MY biggest problem. I'm very scared to ruin what I've got going on. As soon as I start to worry about ruining it, the girl gets scared! On one hand if you escalate and she doesn't like it, take two steps back and keep the conversation going! She'll respect that a lot more than some guy who shouts 'What the fuck?!' in her face. On the other hand, just don't worry. You're in a club! Find another girl! Choose from abundance. Obviously try with this girl until you really fuck up, but she's not the only girl of the night. It's all field experience. Don't be scared to fuck up. Fuck ups are how we learn! Take risks.

I meant entitlement in a confidence way. Like, do you feel you're not supposed to date beautiful girls. You ever met a guy who say's "Oh no she's out of my league"? He doesn't feel entitled to talk to 10's. That's what I meant by entitlement

Someone who feels they deserve a lot, will often go out of their way to get what they feel they deserve because they BELIEVE they are entitled to it. In pickup, I think the more you feel entitled to attention from hot girls, you'll be more relaxed around them. It's believing you are the shit and you can have really stunning girls

So, what word would YOU use?

The biggest mistake newbies make is just not keeping at it. Every 6 months I see new guys enter the local PUA community at meets and a bunch drop out.

Some of them just wanted to find a girlfriend, who is alright if that's your goal. Or just gave up because they found this too hard.

So bottom line just keep going out and everything will figure itself out to your own style. No amount of watching videos is a replacement for logging in the man hours in the field.

But continually logging man hours in the field doesn't really help much either, especially if your just going through the same routine. One of the biggest problems is going out solely for the purpose of attracting women. Forget about racking up hours and instead approach women as a portion of your overall life activities & concentrate on improving all aspects of your life instead.

Besides (I'm sure others will correct me if I'm wrong), in the beginning you only need to be dedicated to approaching specifically for the purpose of pickup for a few weeks to get used to it & get over the initial hurdle - just a few weeks. After that, you concentrate on what is written in the above paragraph.

I want to stick at it. I know I need to go out. And I'm doing it. A friend of mine said to me yesterday "So you've been doing this over a month? How many girls have you fucked?" And I said none. I haven't had any 'luck' yet. Now that for most guys would be a slap in the face to leave. But I come from the mindset that persistence is key. My aim isn't to get a girlfriend and then stop. I love going out! I love meeting new people and getting numbers and make outs! I just need to put that time in and it'll happen for me one day.

BUT I want to ask you guys something. Should I have standards this early in my journey? Should I fuck girls I'm not that into simply because I could?

Agreed that watching and going back to study helps once you have a reference point from your own experience why that does or doesn't work and taking action.

I mainly said this is I've just seen many guys who start out and have PhD in Pickup. Yet hardly get down and dirty and just get to the grind. And get used to the fact while Study is important, it is a grind for a long time and need to push yourself. Before you can do things in a subtle manner, ie. pickup during Daygame without any thought about going into state and just doing it.

Have you tried videoing yourself in set?...

No - Mystery Method is shite. If you want to become a weird inward robot who comes across like a weirdo creep who women will eventually see straight through and end up with terrible self esteem then this is what you should do. If you want to learn how to be a complete fake & have short term success which will eventually explode and do you more damage in the long term than the mystery method is definitly for you.