Good first dates but never a second, whats missing?

[brooksey102]

Recently ive met a few girls off tinder so the first date is also the first time i meet them.

General:
I dress smart all the time and they even say they are impressed by it. I always meet them in nice bars. I get told by the end im respectful and have my head screwed on compared to most guys they meet.

Conversation:
the conversations ive been having are decent, i put in a lot of DHVs, passion to be ambitious/travelling, funny stories. conversations always flow well, never awkward silences, maybe it does go a little stale towards the end on the odd occasion but it does pick up again.

So why am I not getting second dates???? i feel while the date and convo goes well im not putting in enough flirting/showing that im interested etc. And im stuggling to implememnt this. any words or wisdom??

also what are everyoines thoughts on body language? i normally sit up straight

[brooksey102]

Yes i do feel like im trying too hard.

Thanks what you had said is making a lot of sense in terms of what im missing. What reason would you play with her hands? I dont know if its just me but i get the feeling that id come across a bit creepy if i started messing with her hands for no reason

[brooksey102]

Thanks for the great advice!

I will look into applying a lot more kino.

in terms of the convo how do you make it more flirtier? ive learnt and applied confidence, DHVs but how do you turn the convo more flirter? as a bit of a noob id probably just keep over complimenting her. im not hitting that flirting/ intimate level in terms of conversation.

I know your probably pulling your hair as it probably seems so simple, however flirting is not something that comes naturally to me at all, im going to have to learn it and practise it just like everything else

[brooksey102]

I get what you mean.

as you say flirting is a skill you improve based on experience, it cant just be explained simpily. but i will use what youve said as a basis and improve on that.

thanks for you help

[astroboy]

You should have her guessing if she is going to have a second date with YOU.

Might even try dressing down, still look good but in a very casual way. Like you are not even trying that hard. Have her thinking if you look that good dressed casually in jeans, wondering what you'd look like in a suit or a good dressy shirt.

Make your body language non-chalant, lean back, say things that make yourself laugh (Worrying about your own fun than hers).

The fact that getting feedback of being respectful, makes me think you might be doing the nice guy approach to a first date. Nothing wrong with that, but gotta make yourself seem like you have a bit of challenge and edge to you.

You can do all these while still being respectful. Just a high value guy who has allot going for him and needs someone special to really get onto his radar.

[boybryant]

You're playing inside "the box", you're playing to safe, the kind of guy she introduces to her parents etc. Do some research on RSD Derek or Evil Stifler or watch Jeffy from RSD. They do the complete opposite of what you're doing DHVs, dressing smart and respectable etc. and get laid.

Why? Because they're not seeking validation from the girl and that lets them act however the fuck they want, which girls find attractive and then girls start seeking validation from them.

[charlz]

You have good advices above, man. My advice is: always try to act differently from what you have used to if you don’t get what you want. Never stop searching for better behavioral patterns.