Books/Videos/Articles to get me started?
 

Hi guys, as I mentioned in my intro I'm getting back in the game after being in relationships for about 5 years.

I remember my biggest sticking point back in the day was getting interest from women. I would have no problem approaching, but they would lose interest and wander off after about 30 seconds.

Also, another problem was that I didn't really plan my nights out very well: I would just go out and approach, without having a plan for what I want to work on.

I want to start over and learn it properly this time. Are there any books or videos I should look at? I've read The Game, and Mystery's book, but that's about it.

I haven't watched any of Neil Strauss's videos or the RSD Blueprint ones. Are they worth watching?

No, Neil Strauss and RSD talk a lot of shit.

You need to ask your self what interests her?

I've met too many girls who are into musical theatre and contemporary dance. And these are the girls I found hottest. So now, I'm going to start watching musical theatre films and learn about that sort of dancing. To build a better bond. Which is cool because I studied and still do music. And dancing is fun.

The only crap Neil Strauss offers is learn about magical spirits, and star signs. Which means learning about bullshit. Also, I have never met a sane minded person who believes in that crap.

The best option is to find out what interests you, and become passionate about it. And go around looking for a girl who shares the same interest.

Or do what I'm doing and just slightly adjust your self.

Girls don't lose interest in you, just what your talking about.

I would recommend the following Pick-Up related materials:

1. RSD Blueprint Decoded - I liked this because it helped me beyond pickup. Although Tyler does like to fluff a lot if you go through and pick up the useful stuff, it really helped with my conversation socially and dispelled any anxiety I had entering social situations

2. Mark Manson's Models - I got into this from a self-improvement perspective rather than PU so maybe that effected my perspective but I liked the underlying message and self-improvement steps - improve your life in ways that will make you a more interesting person and a better member of society and therefore a more attractive one. There are specific steps for chatting up the ladies, but overall you'll feel better coming out the other side.


The only other thing to do is to not worry about theories and all the conflabbing that goes on in PU, but go out and do. You'll learn better and faster if you have some sound, like-minded buddies who'll support you through your triumphs and errors so you don't give up

or maybe the better question to ask is what makes him interesting?
and why isn't this projected in the way that he carries himself with body language and conversation?

Hah, that's a good NLP analysis ;)

I agree with you, and you are correct in principle. However, I forgot to mention, that I have been going out again regularly. Currently I've been going out at least once a week for the last 3 weeks. What I'm finding is that I have the exact same problems that I had 5 years ago, i.e. the interactions are failing for the same reasons.

5 years ago, I used to go out and "just do it" as you say, but that did not work. That's why I want to do a bit more work "out-of-field" and come in prepared -- otherwise the old quote about "doing something over & over and expecting a different outcome" applies.

I'm generally a bit reluctant to change myself just to impress girls, although if you're into a certain type of woman I can see how it makes sense to learn about more about their interests. I really like Russian girls, so I'm thinking of learning a bit of Russian, which would definitely help with the interactions.

Otherwise, I'm not going to pick up a new hobby -- I struggle to find time to do the things I'm interested in myself!

That's a good point about girls losing interest in what you're talking about rather than you. So what do you talk about.. is it about their particular interests? Can't I just talk about my interests instead?

I'm not sure. It's very hard to get feedback on these things. I've gone out with wings but they generally don't have anything specific to say about what I'm doing "Wrong", so it can't be something really bad. Perhaps it just comes across as weak game overall, and I would have to improve a lot of different things by a small amount in order to have an overall tighter game.

But in general, what makes me interesting is that I'm educated with a high level degree, I run a business, and I have hobbies like chess, riding motorcycles, and judo. I'm also in spectacular shape, I get compliments from men and women when I'm out -- and I'm starting a class on bodybuilding at my gym.

I could talk about these things.. should I work them into the conversation somehow?

Another book i would recommend is Level Up by James D. Wolfe. It's not pick up related at all (although aspects of it do touch on interacting with women) but its a book more about improving your confidence, self love & self esteem & how to identify & eliminate self limiting beliefs.

Admittedly I've not finished it but from a personal development point of view it pretty much has everything i was looking for within 1 book. Though as the other guys have said, don't concentrate too much on theory for now.

I just take a interest in her and who she is as a person. If I'm lucky, she takes a interest in me.


That just sounds like you just want to go up to girls and take a interest in yourself.

Instead of talking with someone, you just want to talk at them.

You could save yourself a lot of heart break by just staying at home and looking in the mirror. LOL.

Do you have any success at all? Are you getting laid? Or is it just not as much as you'd like?

I don't think there are necessarily quick solutions to this and I can to relate to having gone through a similar phase.
Personally going out/socialising regularly with friends aiming to have a good time with some flirting in mind really helped me to develop more than studying material.

I find trying to work them into conversation generally comes across as disingenuous, conversation should be organic. As I mentioned before going out to socialise in places that offer opportunity to chat up chicas will really help develop your conversations