I don't think anyone has ever given me this response when I've been out, but I do occasionally get it from girls online. I know it's obviously used as an excuse in some cases, when the girl just isn't interested. But it does seem as though it's sincere at times. Which means that there is at least a small proportion of the female population who genuinely won't give their number out to a stranger under any circumstaces on principle. This ignites the armchair psychologist in me. What's your take on it?

I know there are more important issues to think about, but as I said, the psychology of it is interesting. If this way of thinking was more common, very few people would ever get laid, let alone enter a relationship. Insecurity is the first thing that springs to mind. Someone who has been hurt and now believes that the only decent way to a potential relationship is getting to know a guy through friends etc. I think the whole online thing is still seen as a bit dodgy as well, and some girls just won't go there, so there's probably an element of that at play at times.

I think it irks me slightly because it just sounds daft and closed-minded - even childish. I'm usually the 'live and let live' type and try to rationalise things I don't always understand, but this is on my little list of things that make me a tad bit irritated.

Think about it from their point of view.

Say you were being hounded by fat girls morning noon and night, most of whom being idiots. You'd get defensive before you were even adult. My ex even had a stalker. That's what it's like being a girl, a lot of people who you are not interested are staring at you and harassing you all the time.

Just accept it and let it go. If someone likes you you'll get their number. Focus on what you can control, which is: you.

I've had it in the street. I didn't dwell on it. I just went and spoke to more girls. Also what PostScript said.

Remind me of my current AirBnB guest. He's about 55, came and sat close to me on my sofa, I thought he was going to molest me. Then I have the perspective to think this is how I probably make girls feel sometimes. Life's a bitch.

I don't ask for their number online. I ask for their WhatsApp. For some reason this works.
If they say they don't have WhatsApp I say their number will do.

Mind you I don't know what your messages are like, so this might not help.