Giving 100% in a conversation V's Not (low investment)
 

Realising Im becoming dis interested lately. 4 girls on the go from PoF, another 2 longer distance and the people I meet during the day.

If I meet someone in the street after about 5 mins I become dis interested. Not because theres nothing to talk about, the conversation flows well, its more that Im not 100% interested to begin with and I think this is down to me simply having a low stereotypical opinion of English girls and that I have no real intention to have a relationship.

This makes me totally unconcerned about the outcome of any conversation.


However, in been dis interested Ive noticed a fall in my energy and enthusiasm. I feel switched off but still engage, talk well and banter. I just dont give any real 'want' for her. This tends to make her try harder and build report and were just kind of bouncing off each other with silly fun remarks. It works well, girls seem to look for a possitive reaction from me then when they get it they latch onto it. If I then start to lose interest I can physically see her noticing that change and trying to turn it to a possitive again.



Low investment approach to it (robitic-like) makes me feel bored. If I upped the energy levels and really show stat I give some sort of shit about what shes saying then maybe the approach will still work for me and I'll feel better and more engaged whilst talking.


Anyone else got an opinion on giving 100% in conversation V's Rock botton investment?

You mean I've misspent all this time and effort?
I feel conned...

This is just something that has recently happened. Probably a link with lack of sleep and my mind been else where due to probable financial trouble with my proposed move to Holland for uni, since right now the money in/out isn't balancing mainly due to high rent and food. Therefore, I may need to stay in the UK another year.

When I was working in a customer focused store I had bags of energy, talk to loads of people all the time and was totally interested in what they had to say. This is me normally.


Maybe it's just been an off week. Focusing too much on finances, academic ambitions, still striving to make it all work out for me to study this year. More concerned about my future than increasing my social life right now. Maybe that that's a good thing.

It sounds like you've got your priorities right at the moment.

I'll be honest with you, I've been focusing on my career since June last year, and whilst I've managed to maintain parts of my social circle, the expansion of such has been severely encumbered. It's not necessarily a bad thing since its going to do me well in the long run, but you have to be aware of the trade off.