Runaway thoughts on approach anxiety
 

Hi, I've been snooping around a few field reports and they have inspired to share some runaway thoughts on approach anxiety.

i.) I still remember her. I was 18 and had just started going out clubbing. She was gorgeous and I didn't approach. I remember I spent the whole weekend wondering 'What if?'. My whole life could have changed!

It hurt a lot more than any rejection could have. That same pain hits me now if I don't approach.

ii.) All of my long-term relationships have stemmed from approaching on a night out. Months and on some occasions years of awesome sex came from walking over and saying hi. Think about that for a second. If I had delayed for even one minute, someone else could have got there first.

iii.) I believe it's totally normal to feel AA. I can still feel a bit of those nerves in the stomach - but you get the same nerves from doing anything awesome.
Extreme sports, sharing your talent in public, diving into a pool.

iv.) I have the mindset that there's no such thing as a bad approach. In fact, you learn more and become mentally stronger from the approaches that go badly.

Remember, if you've got the balls to cold-approach a chick, you are the rare breed. 95% of guys don't have the balls to even attempt this shit, so be proud of every attempt.

v.) What's the worst thing that's ever happened from approaching a girl? What's the best thing? When you think of it like that, is it worth the risk? If you've ever got laid or even a make-out even once from cold approach, then the answer is yes, so go!


These are my thoughts anyway. I'm no master pick-up artist but I guess lack of AA is one of the strengths of my game. There's a lot I'm looking to improve on.

Anyway, I'm really excited by this community and have never really shared anything like this before so any feedback on my thoughts would be incredible! :puaforum:

Looks like a good mindset to me and sounds like you've been doing pretty well. They say you learn more from your failures than you do from your successes. I think that could be because the sting you get from a bad one can put fire in your belly to rise to the challenge and try again and at the same time modify what you are doing until you find what works best for you.

AA is basically fear. We all have fear. Its natural and materialises in various situations. For me my biggest fear is the ocean, mainly due to a childhood experience.

I know that if I took the easy route with many girlsbIve met and dated before getting into pick up, I could have easily fucked them. Christ, 2 girls basically begged me yet I didn't for some stupid reason like 'umm her Mans in the other room'. She'd walk around in her underware, we'd lay down on the bad together, we'd talk about say. Basically she was saying 'FUCK ME!!'. The other girl was sexting and everything. Makes me laugh looking back at it.

AA / fear is a self-defence mechanism. The theory is that because it had evolutionary advantages for most of the time humans have been evolving it's become very pronounced (like a peacocks tail). But in 2014 in a night club it's totally fucking useless. So you have to ignore it and act anyway. All the rest is your mind trying to rationalise logically why you're feeling it. Because you think it's real and must be there for a reason.