"Cheat" on girlfriend
 

Hi,

I was wondering if there were any womanisers on this site - and by that I mean guys who even with a girlfriend are open to engaging in purely physical - as opposed to emotional - relationships with other girls behind there partner's backs?

I can't be faithful and be solely in a purely monogamous relationship because of my personality - and so like the Italians or the French or many other nationalities!..I play around. I'm currently single and have sex with around one different woman a week but I cheat because I'm a "swinger", but even when I've not been single I've needed to interact with other women.

Is there anyone else on this site that is like that? From what I've seen - anyone that's a so-called 'PUA' on this site gives it all up when they're in a relationship and only gets back to it if and when their relationship ends.

Any thoughts?

I am like this to some degree. I said in a post not long ago that I was basically wanting a long-ish distance relationship and then also see/date/whatever other women as well.


There's been many times where I'm single but want to be around women. Then some of the women want a relationship but I'm happy where I am; not scared of a relationship just didn't really want it.

Problem was that the last 2 women I was like this with back at college, 1 from my college and the other from a football club I used to help out at, the connection broke down, mainly due to their friends, which use to give me a sense of disappointment i.e. like a relationship breaking up.
Now I don't think it would effect me as much, if at all.


I reckon I could be faithful and all that but at my present moment I couldn't be, simply because I don't want to be, I want to explore. I was never in this for a girlfriend, I'm in it for self improvement and to be honest, a fucking long, fun, near to limitless adventure. I don't have sex as often as you but I've just started to get a firm grip on my life as a whole so I expect my success to start increasing soon but also, I only have sex when I want to. I'm not someone who will have sex with loads of people, if I connect with her then fine, if not then jog on; I can't be arsed waiting around anymore.


I'm in the process of moving to The Netherlands for uni. If it works out this move will be held as my biggest success because it is the gateway to what I've wanted for over 5 years.
Girl wise I don't know what I'd do over there - but I think looking into the future like that should not be encouraged.

Monogamy without adultery is a choice not a disposition.

Why mess girls around when you can mess around without playing their emotions?

Whilst you have no ties what is the point in pretending to be monogamous. When you decide to settle down with children then maybe monogamous relations might be more appealing although not completely easy

You misunderstand what a relationship is supposed to be (these were around before PUAs). I can only imagine you enter a relationship as a means as something to fall back on, someone to rely on when you can't get your own way with other girls. The worst part is you blame your personality as if it wasn't your fault, because you know you have no self-discipline and can’t be trusted.

For real. My focus was quite heavily on ‘gaming’ girls when I was single, which I enjoyed working at. Upon deciding I was going exclusive with my girl, I suddenly realised that my focus in self-improvement and development could be a lot more holistic.

I have now moved to the city centre into my own place, have sustained an exercise and healthy eating regime to keep myself in shape (my girl loves this), am focused on my art once again and working towards pulling together a series of paintings for exhibitions, going to Asia in a couple of weeks to explore South Korea and Japan.

Meeting the right girl is not a means to an end.

Your whole tone here is condescending and annoying. It sounds like you're proud about your lack of self control and inability to handle relationships properly, and are condescending to the people who have the willpower and the balls to have a monogamous relationship. You seem to use terms like 'womaniser' and 'PUA' relating to what you're talking about as if it somehow makes your worst features cool. If you genuinely can't control yourself enough to have a monogamous relationship when you want one, you're not cool. You're a mug.

The solution to this is simple. Be honest with yourself and with girls. Then do what you want. I'm seeing a few girls right now, but it's well understood by all of them that it's just no strings attached casual sex. If that's what you want to do, cool. But if you want to be in a relationship, have the respect and decency to be faithful and actually take part in the relationship. Be a man about it.

Whatever you do there has to be consent on both sides and a solid understanding of what's going on. No ifs, no buts. That's the bottom line.

You need to drop more IOIs (the soap).

Cheating seems like a luxury to me at the moment.

There'll come a point when you'll find it hard not to cheat because you'll have girls that you want to sleep with who may have opposing relationship goals to you. At that point it is difficult to stick by your guns and say "all I want is something casual" because it instills the fear you may end up with nothing.

I advise you to stick by your standards because you'll learn to confidently get what you want an sure there'll be some girls who'll say no, many girls say yes (some of them want just sex and interesting conversation too)

Whilst I've been learning French I've been able to draw many parallels to games
Firstly it seemed a little more than I could ever reach understanding and talking in French- much the same as talking to a girl and getting laid
But you go out there and you do it and before long you're opening girls (or saying hello asking things in basic French)
Before long your having basic conversations and ordering food - or getting numbers and having dates
Next thing you know your having sex and begin to have your choice of girl (watching TV and reading newspapers)

It all happens progressively without you noticing it but one day you'll think to yourself wow I'm doing what I started out to do and more

Yeah. I could see that could be hard. I've turned down almost certain sex with girls I thought were too young for me (but legal obviously). So I know I can make choices sometimes that are the right but not the easiest ones.

But it's true that being in a relationship seems to make you more attractive to other women. That's the biggest test I think. To fight off advances from women who previously might not have given you a second look.

I'm not an expert but I think that's the issue here right?