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(#1)
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The Date Challenge -
09-10-2013, 05:32 PM
Last week when I hung out with the girl I’ve been talking to for her sister’s b-day, she sent me a text later that night after I went home about what her sisters thought of me.
She said, “My sisters like u lol,” then her next text was, “Love would b the right word.” The next day when I had her on the phone I asked her again, “So I made a good impression with your fam bam?” She told me that her sister whose birthday it was really liked me because I was “there.” She was basically telling me that her sister liked me because I was PRESENT. Living in the moment. How often are we really living in the moment? Even when we’re doing something our minds are completely somewhere else. Am I right? Exactly. One thing I noticed when I’m on dates is that I’m constantly flirting and goofing off with my date… another thing I do is make her feel like she’s the only girl in the room even though there’s loud music people standing next to us and a million other things that are going on. I get super goofy with my girlfriends but never really with girls I’m just going on a date with… that’s a different type of humor I guess. The “challenge” I want to talk about today is keeping that PRESENT MOMENT going every time you and your date/girl hang out. How will she react? How will she respond to your flirting every day? Will she enjoy it? Will she look at you weird or will she be totally into it and brag to her friends about how you only pay attention to her and only her when out? Will you build a stronger connection because you’re so present every time you hang out? Not only am I challenging myself to do this, but I’m asking YOU to do this every time you go on a date or hang out with a chick that you’re into. I will keep updates of everything that happens with this as I go… This should be interesting to see what happens because now that I’m looking for something more than just a “date” or “hookup” this could get intense. Stay up you handsome bastards, -Jarod     |
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(#2)
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09-10-2013, 06:32 PM
A few weeks ago I went on a date, and I wasn't in the present. Instead I was in Thursday June 12th 2003. It was cool because she could tell me about the situation in Syria and show me what an iphone is.
I'm aware that made no sense. But neither does the challenge. But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99 |
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(#3)
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09-10-2013, 07:09 PM
Thanks for making me laugh after a long day Mr Hydro.
Just waiting for a new thread from Alphamaaaaax to appear 'The secret of happiness is not discovered in the absence of trials, but in the midst of them' - Ted Nace |
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(#5)
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11-10-2013, 08:17 AM
Hydro’s post is a load of nonsense, don’t you think? He offers no solution to the issues he claims we all have, namely not being present. What is he posting for? To click on his lame link.
I’m pretty surprised you have censored other parts of this thread Jaz, but yet the dating coach still gets to advertise his link. |
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(#6)
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11-10-2013, 12:48 PM
Quote:
I generally take the idea of being 'present' or 'in the now' to be poorly defined pseudo spiritual bullshit term that's been adopted by the pickup community thanks to RSD. I place it along with terms like 'state', 'momentum' and 'self actualization'. Subjective, poorly defined and generally more harmful than useful. The challenge is to be in the present moment for the whole time every time you go out on a date right? Okay. But the thing is people are hard wired to draw on previous experience and consider future scenarios when making decisions. It's a survival mechanism. So the challenge is to shut off one of our most basic mechanisms for decision making. How? The challenge makes it sound like deciding to wear a new pair of jeans, whereas the challenge is more like me saying 'Every time you go out wit a girl, try to not blink. You're so used to (and dependent on) blinking that you're bound to do it, and what's worse, you're going to constantly be thinking about not blinking which will make you not want to blink. The idea of consciously trying to be in the moment and not being in your own head will backfire, and throw you into your head even more. And to what extent? I'm quite reliant on past experiences in my decision making thank you very much. The logical extreme is I'm so in the moment that I forget my previous experiences of what drinks I like and order a WKD instead of a lager. And there I'll be on my date, sitting there looking like a twat. A lot of my dates etc go really well because they're positively influenced by my previous experience doing stuff like that. Past experiences and gauging future scenarios can be a very useful thing to do, and to me deciding to be completely in the present all the time just to be more flirty and pay more attention to a girl seems like throwing the baby out with the bath water. A simpler, less pretentious, less stupid way to paraphrase what people generally seem to mean in PUA by 'be present' or 'be in the now' would just be 'chill the fuck out, there's nothing to worry about'. That's a decent principle to apply when you're out with a girl. But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99 |
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(#7)
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11-10-2013, 12:56 PM
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