Haha its funny that you put 'Cheat' in inverted commas, Uber you crazy.

My father got married young. He told me that a big factor was he never thought he would get another chance (meaning for regular sex). With hindsight he said: "If I had only known then that later on I would have had more chances than I knew what to do with". He's never admitted how many he took. And I don't ask. But I reckon it's more than zero.

Wow, good to see healthy democratic speech is alive and kicking on this forum. I think it's great that people are physically faithful to one person for the rest of their life's, honestly I do, I'm just saying my set up means only having sex with one person for the rest of my life REALLY doesn't come naturally to me - so say I marry tomorrow and die in 50 years time I'm saying frankly that it would go against my most basic physical nature. You can say I'm choosing that and that I shouldn't just blame it on my 'personality' and in the end we do all make choices...I haven't got the stats for the French and Italians, but frankly I reckon there's a fair few married guys even in this country who if a hot woman made themselves available to them with no strings attached would not be able to resist it. I appreciate that the people who have commented on this thread would never have sex with another woman outside of their relationship with their wife or girlfriend, and I massively respect that - so you've answered my question. I'm not proud of being a "womaniser" - for lack of a better term - but it really does seem to be hard wired into me, although like I said, I do appreciate that people make choices on what they choose to follow up on. I guess I just haven't got your willpower when it comes to staying away from women. So, STEIN - I'm certainly not meaning to be condescending I was just wondering if anyone else had my issues with never having sex with anyone else but your girlfriend/wife for the rest of one's life - I don't think I'm a "mug" as you say for having difficulty doing that and I certainly don't think anyone else is a "mug" for having a monogamous relationship for the rest of their life - we're all different! And, by the way Stein, your current seeing lots of girls at one time and them all knowing about you sleeping with other girls is a rather interesting and I don't think common situation...good luck with it though - very open minded girls!

Sorry, just read page 2 of this thread. Serendipity thanks for your two contributions here - yeah basically that's the issue, yeah interesting to hear what your dad said.

Shahansha - the reason I put "cheat" in inverted commas is because I don't consider a purely physical liaison with some woman to be proper cheating. Let me explain this i more detail, for example:
Say I'm married or in a relationship and I have a quick shag with some woman of dubious virtues - whether that be from meeting her at a bar/club, in the swinging scene, or even a hooker! - I don't consider that, and indeed repeated actions of that, to be the same as the following:
Meeting another woman and having an AFFAIR which includes dinners, mental and potentially emotional interaction - that IS cheating and in my book is very wrong! You should only have a relationship with one person - your wife or girlfriend!...but should you go to Vegas whether that's literal or not and just have some physical fun, I reckon that's a lot less serious as a misdemeanour!!

Uber, I can't agree with that. Both examples are examples of cheating on different levels.

Sex or a shag is, to a degree, an emotional interaction. You labeled an affair as something that includes emotional interactions.

In my opinion, both examples are 1 of the same thing.

My point was about being clear in what you want, both with yourself and with the girl. If you genuinely want to be in a monogamous relationship, you've got to go by the rules of one. If you get into a monogamous relationship and don't have the willpower to stick to it, you should get out of it, or at least talk with your partner about it before you go off trying to fuck other people. You described yourself as being open to having sex with other girls behind your partner's back. Frankly that's cowardly, and yes it makes you a mug.

My situation is more common than you'd think. I sleep with other girls they're free to sleep with other guys. Happens a lot. The way you get into that situation is by being open, honest and clear about what the situation is right from the start. If you want to shag a bunch of girls, I suggest you make it clear that it's just sex. Provided you're cool about it a lot of girls are happy with that. Girls enjoy casual sex. Who'd have thought.

This again all comes down to trust, honesty and consent. If a girl you are in a monogamous relationship with has no idea you might be shagging someone else and would not be fine with it then going out and shagging other girls is not fucking fine. It's cheating. Shame on you if you do that, and I feel bad for any girl you do that too. On the other hand if you want to be in a polygamous relationship, you discuss it with her and she's fine with it, great. Have fun. But she'll get to have her fun too, so you'll have to deal with that.

Figure out what you want and stick to it. Don't lie. Don't cheat. Nothing good will ever come of it.

My advice would be not to get into a relationship or get married if this is the way you are wired. Unless the women you choose to be with holds exactly the same views as you.

if you find someone who understands exactly where you are coming from and you both start the relationship with a clear understanding that meaningless sex will occur and both parties are aware of this then there is no issue.

however if you get in a relationship with someone and they dont know what your intentions are then this would just be cruel and i suggest not starting the realationship atall.

This is desperate stuff Uber. I feel sorry for every girl you make contact with.

Agree with everyone else and standby what I said before.

A committed relationship is where you are exclusive to one person. You don't sleep with anyone else. If you "want" a relationship its because you've found someone you like and ready to settle with exclusively. You can't have it both ways.

I didn't read it all but you said women where that you don't totally consider sleeping with someone else cheating, and that cheating is only when you are spending time with them or taking them to dinner. Are you crazy or on drugs?? Making out with another women is cheating, just kissing is cheating. Going on a date is cheating. You could almost say exchanging flirty and dirty texts is borderline cheating.

The way your talking, you shouldn't be looking for or deserve a relationship until you get your head right. If you were in a relationship with another women, would you be okay if she was also bonking other guys? (Of course if you were both together but sleeping with others you couldn't class this as a relationship).

Find women to have casual sex with, who are open to it and are aware its not an exclusive thing. And sort yourself out.

Interesting. Uber can’t actually be happy or remotely satisfied with the girl he’s in a relationship with, and hence the problems he has.