Bit of background;

So met this girl recently between Christmas and New Year in a bar whilst out with some mates, approach, interact, have many things in common, mutual attraction, number close. Smooth as you like. Transition onto phone/text game. All fine, set up day 2, day 2 turns to day 3.

Dates go fine, lots of fun, banter, flirting, kino, admittedly there's more sexual tension and energy on the day 2 than the day 3 as for some reason I revert back into my head and lack abit of belief. Anyway she seems keen, texting me everday, then begins emailing me after asking for my address so she can email me from work, opens up to me, is always the one to re-initiate contact and she wants to set-up further dates and make future plans for later dates of this last week. I am at this point abit freaked out because it's all seeming like she's abit 'over keen'.

Then, maybe this is purely coincidental or has some bearing who knows. She then shows up on my facebook as a friend request, I am reluctant to do this because I don't really know her all that well at this point. However I ask a friend about this he says 'just accept her' so I do.

Then the days after that, I hear nothing from her. I don't think too much of it then I get a text from her the afternoon prior to an arranged date that evening saying she would prefer to cancel due to the weather. 'Fair enough' I think, however find it slightly odd as she only lives a short walk from the venue we were due to meet.

Anyway we decide to re-arrange for Tuesday next week, she agrees. I leave it at that, then a couple of days later I then out of the blue get a text Friday saying;

Her: Hi. I'm not going to be able to make next week at all.

I sense somethings not quite right so I give her the option to back out if she's not feeling it and neither am I willing to solely wait until she has a free schedule so I say:

Me: Shame. Do you wanna just call it a day?

Her: Sos, sent you half a message. My friend moves to London next week so pretty much tied up with her until then. I enjoy spending time with you but not sure I have time in my life for anything more. (She works two jobs) Depends if your are looking for friendship or more than that.

Me: To be honest I think you're cool and ace and everything but I thought I was pretty clear with you that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Seems weird. (I don't mention the friends thing)

Her: Well if your happy being friends then so am I. I'm still up for hanging out with you if you are, just won't be til the week after now x.

Me: Ok, fine. This arrangement suits me perfectly!.

Her: Splendid x

Then she text me some inane jibber-jabber that I couldn't really care for after.

Obviously somewhere along the line I fucked up to get faced with this rejection. Talking to a friend about it, the same guy that advised me to accept her facebook request said 'Well mate, there is alot of pictures of you drunken with random girls and there are alot of girls posting on your facebook wall, maybe she didn't like that'.

I dunno,..... though it took an initial hit when I got the text, I was suprised at how hard my ego initially took it after being involved in this scene for a while now and as hard as I might the effort i've put in trying to 'shun' my ego.

I don't wish to over-analyze but thoughts, opinions and ideas of how I handled this or could have better handled it would be welcome.

If she is turns out to be sincere in being friends then I don't mind that, I genuinely do think she's cool and fun to be around. However im not going to start actively pursuing that, I'm just gonna leave it and not contact her, if she contacts me then fine. Last thing I want to be is an orbitor I have too much self-respect for that bull-shit.

Cheers K, good point.

Deffo worth taking a chance on, as big K says, get your lads involved and give it a go!

Pic.

I think you need to move on fast from this. Don't try and find definitive reasons why she flaked... for all you know some other guy swooped in and whisked her away.

All I will say is you possibly didn't escalate enough with this one. You say there was a lot of sexual tension on the day 3 and it sounds like it got to you mate, especially when you say you went into your head lacking belief in yourself.

Also, if you think giving a girl your Facebook is a bad idea then don't do it. I personally think you are reading far too much into what people think of you in your Facebook profile. Not everyone’s perfect and not many people expect or even want you to be. So unless she’s extremely anal about what guys she sees (would you want a girl like this) then why would she find you ghastly because of a few drunken photos or a photo of you with a bad pair of jeans on, or even with other girls (which is surely a good thing)!!

Taking advise from your mate Phil – who I know has a chode attitude to what girls want from a guy - will drag you back where you began this journey. You need to start believing it what you think is right. Don’t give up on what you have learnt on your journey. Start applying it.

Sound advice guys. Yeah I felt the dent to my ego but a day later this subsided, this is progress because not so long ago I would have let this hangover me for sometime and would waste time over-analyzing the interactions. I am going to take Ks advice and keep this one on the back-burner, not invest too much time and energy with this, play it by ear and in the meantime pursue other ventures.