Beyond reconcilliation???
 

Hey,

I'll try and consolidate my storyinto somehting not overly long. Met a HB8, went for drink. Had a great time, she text me that night and again next day to say had a fab time.

Had a bit of banter since, she'd called me and said she wantex to introduce me to her friends. We planned to go ton second date tommorrow at the worlkd golf championship in Dubai (we both live there). Then today I get the following message:-

"“Hey! How’s your day? Sorry about yesterday. I did not stop all day and had 5 minutes to go home and get ready for dinner! So I’ve been thinking about tomorrow, I just want to be clear that I am not in a position to be in a relationship right now. As I explained the other night , I have pretty much been in relationships since I was 14and need some freedom at the moment. I just don’t have time over the next few monthsfor anything other than a friend. I’m sorry to leave it to the last minute but I’m not going to be able to make the golf tomorrow, hope its not to to late to invite someone else. Speak soon, take care. Hx”

and

"You are such a lovely guy and we did get on so well, I just feel like I habe come across you at the wrong time in my life as your a keeper! I just want to make things clear and don't want to jeopardise any future friendship we may have."

So, game over?? Can it be turned around?

What are you after from this woman, a relationship or sexy fun?
If it's sexy fun then it's easy just say you're not after a relationship either but just after a bit of fun.
If you are after a relationship with her then you can't really force her to be in one so take it on the chin and don't have any ill feelings towards her stay friends be a bit flirty and who knows. Also go out, approach and meet other women, don't get hung up on one.

I don't think she is the 'sexy fun' type. I was lookng or more than that anyway. I'm not talking about full on shit straight away but just someone to share good times with and also obviously the physical side.

I'm thinking its best now to just to back right off on communication and wait for her to come to me. If she doesn't I dont want the 'friends' thing with a girl who I have wanted. Been there before, it just leads to misery.

Just wondering if I should send a leaving text showing my intentions?

You could say something short like "I'm into you if you change your mind let me know" then just leave it at that.

Not that I've met her but don't be so certain. A lot of 'good girls' will be getting it on with f*ck buddies.

As for stating your intentions. Do it. You are right to say that being just friends leads to misery. Tell her what you want. It's the least you should do as she has done just this.

I would also add that personally I would take things as just fun to begin with. I like to get to know a girl not only in the bedroom but as a person. I like to be sure before stating to a commitment. Maybe this is what she is thinking as well?

I've left it at this....

"Well like I say from my point of view it's a shame; it's been a long time since I met someone I thought I might have a real connection with, but there you go, that's life. [*cracks a personal joke*], Hey ho......"

makes her think twice about the fact that she is giving up on this "connection" and made it show that i'm disapointed but its not my life over. retain the humour which is what she liked in me.

Will leave it there now and see if anything come of it and move to other girls.

Yes!!!

She sounds like she's into you but not in a position to take things forward right now.

Play it cool, show your interest and that you respect her current position - and follow this one up in 2 weeks.

She'll respect you for giving her space and its amazing what can happen in 2 weeks.

Good advice. I guess the response i posted falls in line with this. Withdraw contact and see what happens.

I know what you mean but in this instance I hinestly do not believe that she is up for it. Not sure I am either to be honest.

This is an assumption. This is the single biggest mistake guys/people make. Take anyone at face value at your peril. Like K says, she has a pulse, she has sexual desires, she wants to live these out. Why wouldn't she desire sexy fun time?

I am also surprise that you say you are not up for sexy fun times. It may seem noble to wait til that 'special moment' etc, but I really think compatabiltiy in the bedroom is huge. If you say have a great relationship without sex for several months and then get the bedroom and either of you are dissapointed, would you be satisfied with that? Would you not be repressing your primary human desires.