Being economical
 

I had a chat with Hustler last night and he told me off for pursuing girls who are giving me the run around. I thought leaving all my options open was a good things to do, but it has been detrimental and frustrating. Kowalski mentioned something similar in my day game thread, querying why I wasn't pursuing girls who are 'up for it'.

I think some girls are just giving me enough hope to keep me interested and are in it for the attention. Some of them were initially attracted to me, but that may have faded and this is obviously frustrating. I need to know when to let go and focus on new frontiers.

I have now realised which girls I should be focusing more on, i.e. the ones who respond to my texts favourably and are willing to flirt and generally have some fun. Part of this is realising what I want from it all, it is in short, to have some fun.

Something just to add and something I need to bear in mind with this all now. I should not necessarily blame myself for a girl's lack of interest. I thought I could somehow turn situations around from the dead through employing game tactics. Sometimes the birds just lose interest or generally had no interest to begin with. What can you do... but move on.

and this is the epiphany. When u realise it never was the tactics... its you

For sure. If I am doing my thing and expressing my true self I cannot help it if others don't like that. They can like it or lump it.

what happens if the the real you isnt working and most women lump it ?

Would you change how you are ?

I am now at the stage where I am expressing myself honestly more than ever. I used to hold back my thoughts, or say things I thought would impress the girls. I don't do this as much now. I would like to carry along this path of authenticity. There are however, like you say perhaps things that might need to be changed in order for me to progress with all of this. I can only identify these as I go along, and in doing so change what needs changing, as long as it makes total sense to do so.

The problem I have recently identified is I have been chasing girls who keep making excuses and then blaming myself or my tactics for their failure. Perhaps it isn't me or how I have been doing things, but just the way the girl is or her emotions. An example would be a girl who was very interested last week, but is now giving me the cold shoulder. I can't identify what I may have done wrong. Perhaps it is something in her head, or perhaps she is looking for attention. She has become quite rude when I try to converse with her over the past couple of days, giving one word answers.

And the solution? I don't know. But, I now feel I can't be bothered with her any more. I am at the stage where I can't be bothered putting up with a poor standard of behaviour. I have to have standards for what I will accept from girls, and I have to have respect for myself.

There's are by-products from ditching these kinds of girls early: you waste less time, and you don't waste your thoughts being confused or frustrated at them.

You're going through a big change here, you're just getting growing pains. This forum is such a brilliantly encouraging atmosphere to better yourself.

When people go through a big life change, as a few on here have done - you can end up swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other. One minute you're too needy, the next you're too distant to maintain or build a connection. It's all about feeling around and finding where along the scale you sit best. This also applies to figuring out which girls to continue with and which to ditch.

Authenticity I've found to be the single most important aspect of all this. It can be hard to get into this mindset where the stuff that comes out of your mouth is genuinely just your instantaneous thoughts. Without pushing it (saying something stupid) or holding back (acting awkward).

Never act to impress others. Act to impress yourself.

You sound allot like me 12 months ago ( not being condescending and saying ive improved my mental mind set )

I got blown off allot, Girls would be keen one minute and next would give me the cold shoulder

I always tried to figure it out, would mess with my head. Up until the age of 20 I had only experienced 4 sexual experiences.

I dont know you, but from the posts I have read you seem to be a sensitive person who thinks allot ( could be wrong! ) These are great traits to have but until you get that " Aha! " moment you will feel frustrated with getting rejected by girls

Thing is, I get rejected just as much now as I did leading up to my 20's

Difference is it doesnt phase me now, im much more relaxed and collective. As a result I get to meet as many girls as my week can fit in and dont get overly upset when I get rejected, Ignored by txt,fb etc

I dont know what changed in me to make me get to this stage, but I guess every guy must go through it


Last thought bubble, Being Authentic is all well and nice, But Authentic can be bad thing just as much as a good thing, Ive adapted my personality over the years and some things have stuck with me, Through personal experience and social experiments I have " corrected " parts of my personality and my life has improved because of it. Does this mean I have drifted from my Authentic self ? Fuck yes it has,My authentic " self " was an absolute tool!

Yes. I think this is just when you realise you can get girls fairly easily, you don't care about the ones that have screwed it up. You've got stuff on the go, other girls, other hobbies - who cares if a few girls flake. They've got their own shit too.


Nail on the head. Find yourself first, then be authentic. It's no use being authentic if you're a dickhead.