Clarify
 

So, i dunno how u lot perceive my idea of getting girls, not really played that game for a while now, i have a girl.

I would like to clarify a point which i feel may help some of you.

I think there is a general misunderstanding that i just walk up to girls, ask for sex & get it... while i have done it, its not based on anythin other than looks, if ur not good lookin, or she dont fancy u, that shit wont work.

SO... whats the point of this thread...

well...

being str8 up with women is a good thing, but it depends on where you are in ur relationship... 5 mins in, few hours... weeks etc.

so lets assume, she is is eyeing you up... u can just walk over & be like

"whats happening, im XYZ, want a drink... or whats your name or anythin above" its clear she wants u so dont really matter what u say as long as ur funny & not a cheesball, borin, girly or cocky without the smile (like an American teenage film actor)

lets say she isnt, and u wanna speak to her.... well this is different, i feel like walkin str8 up to girls and talkin to them makes them assume u do it to everyone... (not sayin it dont work again, ive done it, just sayin i dont usually do it)

i mostly go the toilet and walk past on the way past, maybe catch their attention or meet them at the bar, inadvertent.

talkin to them for a while maybe just have fun jokes play about, dont do much talkin about personal stuff, just "you havin a good night? that dress would look well better on me.... etc etc" some kino, .... touching, skitting them then grabbbing and man hugging before they get offended & just laffing all the time then pushing them back away.

then u can guage if they are interested, if they are being nice but not flirty, dont proceed... just say "nice to meet you" and move on

if they are having it, then you know u can get a bit more and from here, is where i go into MAN MODE. from here u can be how u want to be without secrets.

so i just thought id clarify, thats a breif indication of where i would be str8 talkin, further more, i get told alot i only get away with stuff coz im good lookin... im not sure if thats the case or maybe my demeanour is attractive... i wouldnt know... but if they fancy you... looks or persona ur good to go

just learn to see how far you can push the alpha attitude.

but always go in with the idea that none of them girls are good enough for you yet

not everyone can fancy u,

thats not your fault, its their problem

I agree with most of the things you say here Phil, but the looks issue is
a) subjective
b) not a priority with females

As long as you get the basics right (personal hygiene, healthy lifestyle), working on your inner coolness will get the girl. This is mostly achieved by going out alot. Just my 50cent bitches!

this bit stood out for me

one mindset to have is -- initially, keeping things playful, silly, fun

sounds good

You'll never sell your ebook now phil!

this is a convo i cant be assed opening. but simply looks is a priority for a girl when u first meet them, as it is men in mine & most girls ive met opinion.

however your right, it is subjective people have types, even girls. i did mention that tho, physical attraction differs for all. still important you fit into their genre in 95% of cases.

I agree with Phil. For the very large majority of women, good looks is a priority for them. If you're average looking or less - then most women aren't going to give you a chance.

Going off on a slight tangent here, but using it to support my point: I am getting fuck all on POF - my profile is as good as it can be, and the messages I send are good. But I'm an average looking guy at best. I'm athletic and dress smart, but my facial features are average.

So out of interest, I've set up a fake profile, with a fairly average bio, and one photo of a good looking guy (not model esque) which I took off google.

I set the profile up late last night, and it's received 5 messages and 18 'want to meet's. That's more than what my profile's had in 18 months of sporadic use. Don't worry - I won't be sending a single message from the fake profile. I'm just observing how much attention it receives over the next week. But I think it proves my point - certainly for on line dating. But I also think the argument extends to face-to-face 'approaches' (for want of a better word).

Interestingly, the majority of interest received for the fake profile is from fairly unattractive women. Maybe they think that, on POF, they are in a position to be very ambitious….

The looks thing IS an issue with with girls, however much they deny it. A very good look friend said to me: of course, looks is half of it, you have to fancy them to begin with!
Also, my gf gets excited when a trailer with Zac Effron comes on...and it's not because she knows his 'personality' now is it lol

?Could it be that because of how you are you are seen as good looking. You then feel good looking which reinforces how you are, which makes the girls see you as good looking, which...


Just want to triple thank this, cos it's absolutely spot on

No i think its the fact i have piercing blue eyes, skin head & facial hair, and im well built, so girls who like this type of look, like me. its fuck all to do with my state of mind. The type of girls i like are the type who like my type... im just lucky i guess..

or maybe i just worked towards looking that way, coz i use to be skinny with no facial hair & spiked gelled hair.. then realised the women i like preferred men not boys. U can make yourself good looking if u do a little work.

This is all relative. The type of girls I like tend to be more attracted to me than the girls I wouldn't entertain. It may be the clothes, hairstyle (actually it is the hairstyle hehe), way I behave. There are a few factors at play. Good looking is only part of it. If a girl is initially attracted to the way I look, this can all go out the window fast if she's not into who I am, or the way I behave.

Online dating is a 2 dimensional arena though and cannot be compared to the real world. How much have these girls got to grasp onto when they get to know you? A few concocted lines and a hot photo. When you are strutting your stuff in the street or club, there's all to play for baby, facial hair or no facial hair.


That is not interesting at all. In my limited experience in online dating sites, this sums up the inflated mindset girls get on online dating. The average and ugly girls receive vast amounts of attention from tonnes of guys so probably think they're hot property all of a sudden.

granted, but the fact is its in the window to start with.

we need to stop allowing people to think its not a factor, for their own benefit.

I often people watch when I'm out, I find it interesting.

You get stereotypically good looking people having boring interactions, next to no chemistry, and they still hook up. Good for them. Personally I have to have 3 things before I go with a girl, looks, personality and chemistry. The last two are not the same.

I personally know of a few examples of guys who are not good looking (I genuinely mean near-ugly) who are with pretty stunning girls. Did those girls fancy them when they first met?

No, they didn't. Are these exceptions to the rule? Well, that depends on what rules you play by...

I don't know of anyone who doesn't think it's a factor. I do however know plenty of people who think look's are the be all and end all, thus they do not think they can be more than this.

No it's definately about looks mate. This guy gets loads of girls:

http://www.pickuppodcast.com/files/2...hoobie_pic.jpg

So cut your legs off (down to 5'4"), look like this dude, and you will pull tons.

how do you know he gets loads of girls?

i hate this argument. Its like saying "I COULD WIN THE LOTTERY TOO" yes you could, but its few & far between.

and uglys with fitties is usually social circle meets... and women always talk about how they once dated an ugly guy coz they are not shallow....

there are exceptions to the rule, but PUA seems to be lead with exceptions, hopes & dreams rather than the reality & general rules.

Its this simple.

Being good looking alone isnt enough on its own BUT!!! if you can do everything possible to better your appearance... you will get luckier FACT

Preaching about how we should improve our appearance is hardly revolutionary. It is all over the tv, the billboards, the newspapers. This is the dream we are sold every day. We know all this. In this forum we should focus more on the deeper stuff, how we behave, how we talk, etc.

I think pretty much everyone dresses to impress, has a wash and cleans their teeth. This is handled.

Excellent post sir.

You missed my point. Those guys seem to have a skill in their social environment, they've learned to do it repeatedly. I'm not saying people can go out being ugly and getting fitties, I'm just saying it does happen for some for the sake of truly balanced argument.

Far too many people focus on the 1% and wish it to be them. They want it so badly that they allow all logical reasoning to fly out of the window. Everyone buys on the dreams, not the facts.

We've already had this debate I seem to recall. I'm the first to bang on about how appearance matters, and no sane person for one moment can argue it doesn't.

Get two guys who are the same in every way, one dressed like crap, one dressed sharp. Whose gonna be more successful (and by that I mean girls, career, social ladder).

It doesn't take a genius or a recently single girl with a faltering self esteem whose still secretly looking for 'Mr. Right' to work that one out.

i dont think it is mate... i posted this in the beginners section for a reason.

there are still those who stand by the sales spin that "LOOKS ARE INSIGNIFICANT"

people need to be put str8. anyway, this wasn't the point of the thread. its turned into that boring debate. Appearance matters just as much as personality<the end>

Appearance matters to the extent that you don't go out looking like a hobo (retard) and make a little bit of an effort with your appearence, even though your not blessed with the best looks in the world like Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss, Jeffy or Hoobie. If you work with what you got, you will get pussy - fact.

In fact, I think Phil will agree with me on this :)

I know Phil didn't start this thread for it to be about looks but I would like to add something. Ok, I have a mate who does great with fit good looking women. He works in construction and has pulled tons of fitties in the day while he is at work or just after finishing work for the day and what I find interesting is that this is when he is in his work clothes, so dirty rigger boots, dirty jeans or shorts and obviously he's not showered so dirty hands and finger nails but it doesn't seem to do him any harm whatsoever. He's not what you would call good looking, probably a bit above average but he does have a natural charm that women (or at least the ones he goes for) find very attractive

but the dirty thing is attractive to women coz its manly, i know loads of women who think its sexy...coz he a builder. same as a dirty fireman...

but see how many women he gets dressed like that without his work boots & jacket on.

its like women love the smell of sweaty men comin out of the gym.... give her a sweaty man anywer else, he is repulsive.

what ur talkin about is a completely diff thread.

Right I'm confused. Do i wash or not?

you wash before 4.30 or after 6.23

you have to be wearing a bright colour & work boots, or if you dont use spray you need shorts on

No, not if you're a builder or someone who goes to the gym.

We need a LOL button

Yep I agree with everything you said there Phil but I still find it interesting nonetheless cos all the PUAS talk about needing to be clean with designer jeans and expensive shoes etc. Shows what they know.

Also cos I couldn't dirty myself up and go out and pull cos it would be fake and not who I am. But if anyone reading this is a builder or whatever don't let the fact that you're not looking your best put you off chatting to a hot chick when opportunity arises.

not sure designer clothes are important, maybe if your going for that type of girl.

just stuff like

a) not having your shoelaces tied really tight & big hoops hangin down so your feet look like boats.

b) clean shoes

c) nice fitting t shirts or shirts (jib fruit of the loom)

d) keep fit, swerve the hanging belly, i dont care what girls say... they like someone in good shape.

to further this, my bird was all over me on holiday coz id put some decent size on, "Ur arms feel massive" then doin growling noises & kept squeezin my arms...

was strokin my ego major ... im never ever goin out of shape, i like that my bird finds me attractive

If there's anything more deserving of literal appraise, I'd love to hear it, completely fucking right.