The weight of expectations
 

So I've been making big strides towards getting girl's numbers and taking them out on dates. So much so 4 buses came at once and I had 4 dates with 4 girls in 5 days over the Bank Hol. Considering I'd only managed to date 2 girls in 3 months prior this, this was decent! While this was a great wkd, a couple of days later I felt deflated by the lack of enthusiasm from the girls following the dates. Whilst trying to look for logical answers as to why or why not they might or might not want to see me again, I now realise there a far too many variables to gain a clear picture. I was however on such a feel good mojo wave I feel like I've fallen down hard as I try my best to rationlise the situation.

I am trying to make up for lost time and trying to get results as quickly as I can. I have thus probably come across as needy and nagged these poor girls too much. Thinking back to where I was 2/3 weeks ago things have been moving fast. I had an amazing wkd spending quality time with so many beautiful girls. I need to shift my focus away from these girls now though and build on the numbers game. The more dates I have the better I shall get. I can't expect to change my success in such a short period of time.

Ok, so you've gone from 2 dates in 3 months to 4 dates in 5 days. That's great, awesome even.

Then you're looking for reasons why things didn't go any further. I think the key is to big yourself up for getting getting all these numbers and for the dates, but if the girl seems to show disinterest, then you should not make it about you. Don't personalise it when it's something which you perceive as negative. It's not you, it just is what it is.

You did have an amazing weekend with these beautiful girls. This definitely is because you're awesome. See what I mean? Basic stuff but it does work.

I'm sorry but to blow out 4 dates your doing something wrong. You shouldn't be wasting energy on being depressed though, you need to formulate a plan to improve. How did you make initial contact with these chicks ?, did they obviously lose interest during the course of the date ?, what did you do on the dates ?, what did you talk about ?.

4 women! Really, four women is nothing. You wanna define who you are and what you're about based on experiences with four women??

OK, for the point I'm trying to make, let's say that for three of these four chicks, the reasons why it 'went wrong' is because of you, and the other one is nothing whatsoever to do with you. Where does this lead us? You would be trying to analyse everything about your time with all four and blaming yourself for all of them including the one where it really was not your fault. It's not possible to know every single 'reason' why something went one way rather than another way, so don't even worry about it. Don't analyse every possible thing that you could have done this way or that.

I just think it's much better to think of the positives rather than what you may perceive as negatives. So a chick is not down-to-fuck on this particular occassion. So what? Who gives a shit?? It's not important. Focus on the positives and accept the negatives as, well nothing really, not even negative and they will fix themselves because you will enjoy life much more, being yourself, with confidence, not giving a shit (except when really necessary) and those around you will enjoy you being there too.

This is how I see it because I don't want to be the guy who is analysing how to get laid. I'd much rather enjoy being my best confident self and along the way if some attractive women want to have sex with me, well good on them. I may oblige, I may not.

Having an total irrational belief in ones infallibility and dismissing any failure as someone else's fault, is not a recipe for long term improvement and success.

Success (and failures) are merely opportunities for learning and should be treated as such in a detached and scientific manner.

Nova, it seems like you had fun, keep on doing that...

That's not what I said. Things don't always have to be either failure or success, nor someone's fault.

If you want to live your life as a scientific experiment or whatever, that's fine, but it's definitely not for me. Agree to disagree I reckon, sapphire

I met these chicks on the streets/in shops. Just to clarify they haven't blown me out, well at least two of them haven't haha. I was just getting impatient and expecting too much too soon. I am learning, so need to let things take their course, and learn from my mistakes. Not sure what they are yet and but things are improving, i.e. the birds are coming out on dates and replying to my texts now.


That is something I would like. Perhaps I should lower my standards a bit to set this up.

the reason he isnt getting any further in my mind is this

Women will wonder how many diff women he has approached with this method, and with him playing the HIGH FIVE approach of a nice guy just lookin for people to talk to, women wont trust it. Ur better off saying, Hey i fancy you badly & thought id say hello.

talk for a while then take her number.

Also, u mentioned somethin the other day about hugging them when u go... thats fucking creepy. Men dont hug! maybe u read that in a PUA book but there is a reason why PUA's still rnt getting laid.

when ur having a convo with them, try not to act like your really interested in what they are saying unless u actually are. and dont stand there as long as u can.

The problem u have with cold approach in a street, the same as a cold call in sales

its not expected, and buyers remorse is THROO THE ROOF. Unless the follwing happens

she fancies you

you came across as her type

she isnt even remotely interested in another guy at that time

and a million other things, your gonna get them flake.

thats why PUA books are shit, there are loads of guys running around trying to break social norms & do DAY GAME, NIGHT GAME, GAME GAME. the reason people dont usually do it is IT DOESNT WORK, people hate it in the uk, its their personal space.

Im not sayin dont go up to a girl u like and chat. Im just sayin do it in a fairly excaptable social enviroment. LIke in a cue, or when your stood next to eachother.

walkin up to a girl and stopping them going where they are going is WEIRD!

just my input

Jeez. That's all need, Phil telling me 'it doesn't work'.