Back to basics.

[Jamm]

Tyler said you can ruin your night in the first 30 seconds. Now this isn't completly true as he also said something along the lines of: if you realise you're doing fuck all you can decide to do something/take right action.

So i've been going out recently and just chilling with friends / not approaching / procrastinating and having an average night.

Knowing i need to get my shit back together i've gone back to basics. Went out tonight with max (it's a weekday i work 8:30-5:30 so im up in 6 hours lol!) and realised i need to approach immediatly on entry rather than find him / grab a beer /chat / approach - just get straight into it. Soooooooooo i text him on the way in saying if i don't approach on entry i give you £20 - sooooooo i approached on entry, and again, then called him - he's in a different bar - sooooooooo walk into second bar and approach immediatly chat to 4 blokes. No £20 for you maxy! Got me in a chatty mood and had a good night.


Ahhhhh Mystery - the warm up sets.

I remember reading from style or mystery a good thing to do is to give your mate £100 - every set you do you get a tenner back - this is hugely old school but i think i may do this. It will force me stright into set which is what I want - get me in a chatty + sociable mood and as soon as my brain flicks from work mode to social i have a great night.

[Shahanshah]

Yeah we all know you should be pretty much in set as soon as you enter the place till you leave.

Even with friends, you should be with them because you're having a laugh rather than being too shy to speak to new people.

Might start doing this £20 thing if i can find a wing down here.

Great to hear of your progress!!

[daleinthedark]

Originally Posted by Jamm

approach immediatly chat to 4 blokes...

Er Jamm you do know you're supposed to be chatting up womens?

[Maxemillion]

I'm in the moneyyyyyyyaah

[Jamm]

Originally Posted by daleinthedark

Er Jamm you do know you're supposed to be chatting up womens?

hahahaha

[fail_force]

That £100 thing is a really good idea. I'm tight with my money, so I think it will be especially effective on me! Now I just need to find some guys I can sarge with...

[Stein]

There's two sides to this I reckon. Neither are quite right.

On one hand hitting stuff up straight away and all the time is great. Puts you in a good mood, makes sure you're hitting up a lot of girls etc. On the other hand it can really be one of these unhelpful game ideas that puts more pressure on you. It's one of those things like state, where you might end up with internal dialogue like:

"Ah no. I went for a piss and got a drink before doing anything. Tyler said you can ruin your night in the first 30 seconds by not approaching. Have I just ruined my night? Now it's going to be an uphill struggle blah blah blah..."

For quite a long time when I got in a club the first thing I'd do was go straight into the most intimidating set I could find, and after I was done there to a few more before stopping to do anything else. Then me and my wing would do the 30 second game for most of the night. It was good, it got you in a pumped up mood and I'd get a lot of makeouts and such. The down side was I'd get to used to jumping between sets instead of staying in set, be burned out by 2, start to slow down and not get laid as much.

Now though I take a way more relaxed approach. I go in grab a beer, chat to a couple of people at the bar, then just wander around chatting to my wing and chatting to girls. The idea is to keep in mind that there's never any problem at all. You're going to get laid at some point (if not tonight then whenever) and that you don't have to do anything special at all to make that happen. Calm, friendly, confident. The obvious problem there is using it as an excuse not to do shit, but you can generally gauge how much you should be doing by your mood. Then just play the 30 second game for a bit whenever you feel like you should be doing more. It sounds a bit counterintuitive but it's been working really well for me.

[Jamm]

Originally Posted by Stein

There's two sides to this I reckon. Neither are quite right.

On one hand hitting stuff up straight away and all the time is great. Puts you in a good mood, makes sure you're hitting up a lot of girls etc. On the other hand it can really be one of these unhelpful game ideas that puts more pressure on you. It's one of those things like state, where you might end up with internal dialogue like:

"Ah no. I went for a piss and got a drink before doing anything. Tyler said you can ruin your night in the first 30 seconds by not approaching. Have I just ruined my night? Now it's going to be an uphill struggle blah blah blah..."

For quite a long time when I got in a club the first thing I'd do was go straight into the most intimidating set I could find, and after I was done there to a few more before stopping to do anything else. Then me and my wing would do the 30 second game for most of the night. It was good, it got you in a pumped up mood and I'd get a lot of makeouts and such. The down side was I'd get to used to jumping between sets instead of staying in set, be burned out by 2, start to slow down and not get laid as much.

Now though I take a way more relaxed approach. I go in grab a beer, chat to a couple of people at the bar, then just wander around chatting to my wing and chatting to girls. The idea is to keep in mind that there's never any problem at all. You're going to get laid at some point (if not tonight then whenever) and that you don't have to do anything special at all to make that happen. Calm, friendly, confident. The obvious problem there is using it as an excuse not to do shit, but you can generally gauge how much you should be doing by your mood. Then just play the 30 second game for a bit whenever you feel like you should be doing more. It sounds a bit counterintuitive but it's been working really well for me.

Yeah, there are different ways. The two main one's are 'hitting it up' immediately and the other is chilling and relaxing into the venue and then approaching. The problem arises when you just don't approach, get inside your head and your first approach which is usually the hardest you're doing an hour in rather than just getting it out of the way, getting in state, comfortable and outside of your head. But, whatever works man. For me it's immediate approach, for others it's something different.