Being Fit Or Confidence
 

D'you think being Fit is important in attracting women....or the confidence that comes from being fit?....imo being fat hurts your chances but beyond that the confidence you get attracts women. Anyone with other experiences or different viewpoints feel free to comment.

Here comes the same argument again...

Confidence is far more important than fitness but fitness won't hurt your chances and without it there is a subset of the populous that you will never be able to attract as they have a shallow "only fit people" mindset.

Also, I know plenty of grossly fat guys that do just fine, they have fantastic confident personalities though. I have also known several grossly fat guys that attract nobody at all, those all have terrible self hating and weak mindsets though.

There are however people that are attracted to fat guys, just as there are guys attracted to fat girls.

There are people attracted to only muscly men, there are people who are turned off by it. There are also people who prefer really skinny guys. You only have to look at "scene" culture for a representation of this. Drainpipes and ultra tight tees on super skinny guys.

What's best depends on what type of person you really want to be with.

Depends what you mean by 'fit'. It is a factor that can work in your favour though. Quite simply it subcommunicates so many attractive qualities:

Indicator of good health
Muscle is an indicator of strength, power and masculinity
Alludes to an active lifestyle
Says you make an effort on your appearance,
Says you make an effort to improve yourself and work hard to reach goals

Plus you look better lol.

But like lots of other things, it's only a 'factor'.

basically the ultimate 'plan' is to cover all bases or as many as you can.
thats if you give a shit
then again not giving a shit is another base woohoo!

the point is to get fit for you, sod women, your health is important for you

PS

Ive been into bodybuilding/weight training since i was 18.

Things i love about being buff:

Having people bang into you in clubs turn round and appologise
barging through crowds in bars and clubs and knowone saying a thing
jumping out your car in road rage incidents and the other person other doesnt get out or gets back in and locks the doors
having chicks mid sex looking at your arms/chest and shoulders and telling you, you look amazing.
the feeling of power you have and confidence within yourself
hitting 34 and looking at guys your age who are starting to look old and shitty and you just keep on getting better.

ultimately i train for only myself however - i was bullied at school and made to feel worthless so for me training was what i needed.

ask yourself this question does this guy get laid?

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__...57!Fat_man.jpg

in reference to women who like fat guys e.t.c I actually like looking in the mirror and seeing a fit body if you think it's shallow so what it's my life.

peeps who say confidence is more important are just making up excuses.

I've got a Samoan friend that size who does absolutely fine. He's a really friendly and happy guy though, great ukulele player, a proper stereotype.

well I've still to meet an obese player. I think peeps should lose weight anyway cos at that size you'll be lucky to see 30.

That depends on whether or not he uses the mystery method

Agreed, although being a big Polynesian bloke is genetic and there's little they can do about it, they're usually either built like a brick shit house or fat. I'd say that even though he's fat and kind of unassuming he has inhuman strength, it's more like 90% muscle with a saggy over-layer hiding it all.

well genes can be a factor but I still think exercise is worth keeping up. in his case he could be perfect for body-building/power-lifting.

For me personally:

Being fit makes me feel great! I feel more confident, stronger, more attractive and that I can achieve anything because I have the discipline to get off my arse! Seriously by losing weight and gaining muscle I feel better about public speaking, hell even just walking around the supermarket. That aside I even have friends, colleagues and acquaintances compliment me. I honestly believe it is a major part or self-confidence a pickup, being happy with your own image.

[i]Now that said, you need confidence and a valuable personality./I] I live in a town enxt to a Marine training camp and on any night out there with definitely be at least 20 guys out with bigger pecks, stronger abs, slimmer waists, younger etc. than me - they get paid to do shit like that. I however can pull 2-3 birds in one evenin compared to there 1 because
1 - they (generally but not always) lack the intelligence to better themselves in conversation, knowledge and background
2 - target girls who look great but lack anything deeper.
3 - Rely on the physique and can't string anything more than alpha banter together!

Bottom line if either is incredibly strong you can live off it, best case scenario - get the best of both worlds, read books and go to the gym!

I'm more curious whether the addition to your game comes from the confidence you get from feeling good and being fit or just the fact that girls are more attracted to it. Like i said before i think its a little bit that girls are more attracted to the physique but a lot more that your more confident in yourself. A lot of you guys have said that working out makes you feel great...and in my experience it does as well and that could well link in with, as the blueprint puts it - your 'state'.

are intelligence is wat makes us so successful as a species.

mind body and soul

If you're happy, you don't need to change anything at all. A happy person doesn't have a problem in their life.

ye but then again, they wouldnt be here would they

a guy who's deaf and has down syndrome at my work is happy. I still would chose my life over his.

I'd like to add that often people act happy on the surface so a jolly fat man could be pure front.

You might, many deaf people choose to remain deaf despite having the option of a cochlear implant. Just because you wouldn't make that decision doesn't make it a wrong decision.

If it's not broke, don't fix it. If it is, get off your arse and go jogging fatty. Whether something is broke or not depends entirely on the mindset of that person.

The "jolly fat man = a front" argument is irrelevant, there are people putting up fronts in all walks of life for various other insecurities, this does not however mean that there aren't also many people that simply aren't insecure about those features.

...must...resist...joke...must...arghhh....resist. ..joke...arghhh...must...arghhh....resist...arghhh h....BANG.

See now I've blown up holding it in, thanks a lot Jay.

PS

inside a jolly fat man, an unhappy thin man in a fat suit is trying to get out!! :hihi: :vroam:

I still don't see the benefit to the guys on this sit saying don't bother being fit.

personality can help make up for being unfit. why have uht when you can have fresh?

It's not about benefit at all. This is the issue with the way many people judge others. It doesn't matter what you think or what anyone thinks, it matters what they think. If they're happy being like that then there's no reason they should change it. This includes the health counter argument because when I say happy I mean on all fronts. If you are worried about your health you're not happy with your body.

I'm not talking about the benefit of not being fat versus being fat, it's irrelevant anyway. If you're happy with your body, as with the health argument, you're not bothered about any potential negatives, you're completely cool with it. In true contentment with yourself there is nothing that you need to change at all. Changing something in fact invites unhappiness. When you constantly look at how you can improve yourself you are constantly re-judging yourself and searching for flaws. When you stop looking for flaws or ways to be better and just say "fuck it, I don't care anymore" with true belief... You finally escape the cycle of unhappiness that validation (yes including self validation) creates.

The first step to this was brought in with RSD's blueprint in telling everyone to self validate and stop seeking it from everyone else, this indeed makes you a stronger person and helps in attracting women. It can be taken even further although taking it further does not necessarily have any benefits towards attraction. Stop validating altogether and transcend the entire concept of a value judgement based system, by validating yourself you are still participating in a societal concept of judgement and value. By leaving the system altogether you escape any form of unhappiness such a system can create.

OK I finally get it, and now that I do I would like to thank you for your patients you are truly a great teacher. I'm still gonna work out but that has made me look at my own self-judging.

jay i never read anythin u write, i would like to, but i cant be asssed..

any chance u can bullet point for me underneath future essays. im not jokin either

Jay presented quite an in-depth argument.

Excellent and worth reading to appreciate the nuances.

Jay's argument and conclusion goes to the heart of what TV show like that recent C4 one Beauty & The Beast: Ugly Face of Prejudice - Channel 4 in which deformed people who are hyper confident and self-accepting would mentor a person who was massively concerned about appearance to point of obsession and unhappiness.

There is also a University research-approved test on C4 web state about body confidence at Beauty & The Beast: Ugly Face of Prejudice - Features - Body Confidence Test - Channel 4 which u might wish to give a whirl.