Evolution of a Knuckle-dragger...

[lucidfer]

so, I've been feeling like I'm leaving out a huge chunk of myself from this forum, or by only providing positive feedback or philosophy that I'm painting an incorrect picture of myself here that maybe I might 'know whatdafuck-im-talking-about', which isn't quite true. And this weekend proved it to me.

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So, it's Hallowe'en weekend around here, which means costumes and drunk parties all over the place. And I might be one of the biggest drunks at parties... I grew up betting against my own mates week after week who could outdrink each other, all the while failing to hit on the girls that would come to our parties. Not healthy, but certainly was fun . Jump to starting to do pickup, and I've layed off heavily from the drinking, only having one or two beers a night while I'm out. And it's showed with dealing with girls.

Friday night was a big Hallowe'en party for my school, and most everyone was invited. Naturally I was going to go, but this party was also making me nervous. My day game has been getting decent, but I rarely have time to get out for night game... so I have roughly 20ish girls who I know are actively interested in me and go out of their way during the day to make sure that I know it... and for some fucking reason I was afraid of loosing any of that. I ended up with a plan: Take one home, but try not to piss any of the other ones off. (totally wrong mindset, and not going to have fun and just 'see what would happen. I set myself up for failure.)

Strike one. Don't have an agenda.

So I kinda/sorta invited myself over to a good looking girl's place for pre-party drinking. On the phone she says that I could spend the night there afterward etc. etc... which put me in a good mood right away that I might have something to fall back on worst case scenario. I knew her BF was in the military right now, so maybe she's lonely too? Get there, and her BF is back from the military by 2 or 3 days. Oops. Another stumble, but not that bad. I can deal with this, and three of us have some good laughs getting ready.

After that we pregaming at another place after this one, we get to the party at 11:30 or so, quite a bit later than everyone else. So late that most of the single girls that I know are already sticking pretty close to a lot of guys. Not worried, but not too happy about being so much later than everyone else, I made a few rounds of the party greeting friends and bring my energy level up to the party before attempting to pull any girls. Out of nowhere a cute 8 jumps up and asks me what my costume was, and asks if it's from a rob zombie movie, and when I tell her that she's the only person in 4 years who's ever gotten it right, she gets really excited and laughing. I immediately took my own energy level higher than her's and then brought us both down gradually, and somewhat clunky into conversation. Within 10 minutes she's asking me my number saying we need to hang out, which naturally only spurs me on more. She's throwing signals left and right, we're sharing drinks and so on. Things are looking great, so I leave her with my drinks and go to take a piss, planning on heightening some more when I get back.

On my return I find that while I'm gone a natural that I know has spontaneously sprouted from between her seat and her ass, with her now on his knee looking quite normal there. She has my drinks, and I'm not ready to give up this fight. Plus at this point two of my friends are involved with this convo, so I'm not going anywhere.

Eventually I finagle my way back to my seat next to her, and continue to escalate while she's on this guy's lap. I was only gone for two or three minutes, so he came in damn quick, and I couldn't figure out how. In hindsight she may have been seeing him already, because all throughout the next hour or so she's sending my subdued signals but won't respond to any escalation. So I leave and come back, try different things, nothing's working. Can't tell if she's interested or just interested in the attention, so I quit giving it to her and focus around to the group. She asks if my costume is warm, but she won't come and sit with me while the natural is gone... but at the same time we're putting cigarettes into each others mouths and sharing them, borrowing drinks and costume pieces, and LOTS of eye contact. I know the natural knows what I'm doing, and I can tell from his body language he's not happy about it, so I only go on. I start pulling other people into the conversations, pushing them out, tell the funniest jokes that I've ever said in my life, leave everyone laughing breathless, and generally not afraid to step on any toes etc. etc. etc.... All the while I'm getting shitfaced and beginning to not give a fuck. At this point I've had a glass of red wine, four 12oz 6% beers, a 24oz 10% beer, and a cheap bottle of champagne.

Strike two. Don't be a drunken fool.

I get up to take another piss, and while walking I realize how drunk I really am. Fear begins to come over me that I'm not doing things 'right', and everything just collapses. am and my conscious brain essentially shuts off. I go back to my 'automatic' beta male state. I'm no longer in control of the group, and this other guy moves them to another room. I follow. Things only go downhill from there, and I'm feeling like more and more of an outsider. I decide to cash in while I can, and instead of just hugging her and saying goodbye I go off and try for another girl. By this time party is dying down, I'm drunk and barely there, and my prospects aren't looking to good.

I start chatting up with a girl, but I'm not escelatting nearly fast enough. Kino is minimum, she's got her arms crossed the whole time, I'm comfortably sitting on kitchen counter while she's standing in heels, etc. etc. etc. It was a fuckup all around, but she's still slowly responding and responding with signals. Out of nowhere two guys walk and start talking to her, and I'm too drunk/self concious at this point to address them or talk back, and things go even farther downhill from there. I decide that I'm going to go home, and between conversations of her asking me if I live on campus I offer to walk her home. She says that because of my costume she doesn't think I'd be threatening to would-be muggers (even though I'm 6'4"), so I just assume she's joking and not ready to leave. I say I'm leaving then, and start walking out, and she's already asking some other guy to walk her home. Fuck. That just crushes me.

Strike three. Everything about that whole set.

I was gonna call some girls and just crash at their places, but I'm so upset I decide to drive home drunk off my ass and sleep it off.


...Next day we had plans for barhopping, party hopping, etc... but instead just had a beach party with a bunch of my mates, and avoided anything seduction-related with girls the whole day.

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Felt pretty good getting this out of me, even if I did flesh it out a bit more than needed. I told my future-to-be wing most of this, but he couldn't really respond too well, so I'm looking forward to any tips/critiques anyone from here can give.

[Maxemillion]

dont drive pissed.

over drinking kills game, trying to engage strangrs with only blurry eyes and slurrd speech doesnt work.