TK to the Maxx for Amit!

[daleinthedark]

To do my duty I trudged outside over the weekend using my best openers, rapport building skills and kino techniques to entrap a "female"! Failing that I took with me a hip flask of Chloroform!

More realistically I had to purchase my sister a birthday present and as per usual had left it till the last minute! Being the sort of lazy chap I am I hit my local branch of TK Maxx as they seem to have most bases covered! I found some lovely wood carved giraffes and an elephant for her "africa" themed lounge - AJay wouldn't approve, they have a picture of several black men!

I was admiring jelly beans and headphones in the queue when I got my turn at the till and there was a cute HB 7 behind the counter (probably a HB8/9 without the braces) so I say hello and give her a lovely big smile, she smiles back and starts swiping the items.

Being a fan of crap jokes and terrible humour i say "hang on a sec" and she looked up concerned, I follow "where will i find the anima feed for them?" she giggles at me and continues. After a couple of seconds to think she sayd "oh they just eat sawdust or pot pourri really. I laugh back though she now seems a little more nervous around me; insecure nervous as opposed to freaked out nervous. We carry on and chew the fat whilst she pops some tissue around them and packed. So I just ask her straight,
"what time do you finish today?"
"erm.. 5"
"cool, well I have to go to for drinks for my sisters birthday and a need a hot date, how is 7.30 for you?"
"er... maybe"
"ace, well it's very laid-back! I'm Dale, this is my number and I shall see you at 7.30 outside [said pub]" gave her my card
"ok, bye" big smiles

She text me, came along (a little late) but a strong HB8 scrubbed up, def a 9 without braces, and was actually a good laugh, she's 18, a student at the local College, a bit shy but soon relaxed with a bit of drink and kino. She had to go home early (as she worked early) but she's coming round later in the week for dinner and won't need much persuasion to stay for dessert.

What I've learned:

1. TK Maxx even sell food
2. I can now fit into 28" trousers
3. it's hard to gift wrap a giraffe and even harder to find a gift bag to put one in

[scamp]

Love this story, top stuff fella

[Knave]

Like it. haha very funny, love the bit about gift wrapping you should use that as story in your PU.

Crap jokes are good, because if you don’t close the deal and go back she’ll remember how rude or crap your joke was and it’s a great starting point.

I used this joke in a clothes shop discussing waist sizes.
Why do they call the bit between a woman’s breasts and hips ‘a waist’?
I’m not sure, she says.
It’s because you could fit another pair of breasts in there.
She burst into a huge fit of nervous laughter which is good for sexual tension, then says I can’t believe you just said that.

I didn’t have time to get her number but when I went back I didn’t need to introduce myself to get her number.