Saturday's learning - Social Proofing

[Prime]

Hello all, I'm both new here and fairly new to the game.

Last night I had the opportunity to head out with a friend of mine who introduced me to the general concept and indeed concepts of running game so it was nice to finally get the chance to do so with someone in the know as it were.

I started off with a different group of mixed sex friends but the plan was to hook up with my wing as soon as possible. We both agreed to take things slowly and try and learn successful techniques and analyse where we were going wrong if it turned out that way.

The night began as it often does in various pubs and bars and (I hope this doesn't sound too weird) I made a concerted effort to speak politely to random guys as well as girls who I assumed we would be speaking to later in the evening as the night slowly progressed at different venues - "are you having a good night" etc etc.

This REALLY paid off later, in the early hours. As is normal and of course, was expected by me, when many people I'd spoken to earlier were saying "hi" again giving the impression of popularity and social acceptance in the late night bar we ended up in. The mood created was electric, well as far as I was concerned anyway! Unfortunately (we're talking about 4am now) I became pretty tired and my wing left, leaving me with some other friends including a female friend who drank too much and had to get a taxi home.

I think, although no closing occurred, that this worked like a charm. We were getting the eye from girls and seemed to be the focus of attention from then on which was a huge confidence boost in itself. The place we were at often sees the same faces and I felt there was more 'sustainable' value to actually not opening sets and just being seen in a positive light. I'd love to write about XY and Z happening, I'll admit it didn't, but hey, I feel I'll be going back there pretty soon and I'll let you know how things go.



PRIME.

[Lightnin]

I know what you mean there mate, I live between 2 small towns and like you said "sustainable value" is important. I've had it before, got in to one girl and the next week when trying to get in to another (I don't know if that is the correct term for it?) the 2 girls are friends and it doesn't happen and the second girl was so much nicer! Better to step back and pick and choose I reckon!

Lightnin

[Prime]

Yes I see what you mean. There must be a talent to opening sets in these circumstances where everything you do is on show and I suppose not looking like a guy who is going from one set to another. I feel I'm doing better with approach anxiety and I'm pushing myself more and more, I just don't like the idea of one 'fail' hampering the next. Appearance-wise I mean.

PRIME

[Prime]

In addition, I thought not drinking would clam me up, however when I got used to going out without a drink, as I have been, conversation flows easier and I focus more on the complete picture as opposed to merely having false confidence and HAVING to concentrate on what I'm actually saying. I would advise anyone to lay-off the booze especially if you're a novice like me and you want to retain your learnings as you go.

[Example]

I quite often go out alone to get some practice in and I find a chat with the guy on the door and bothering to pass the time of day with the bar staff (when they are not rushed off their feet) so you can address them by name and appear popular/regular works a charm. Turns a big DLV situation (bloke out alone on a weekend night) right around. Then take a girl into one of those places on a day 2 and reap the rewards when the guy on the door/owner/manager knows you and the bar staff treat you like an old friend. Mind you one bird did say "are you an alcoholic - you know every bartender in the street".