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Have I made a mistake? -
30-04-2011, 07:14 PM
So I know totally that only I can decide if I have or not... but I wanted to get your guys opinion on my current issues.
So I was seeing this girl since about Christmas. She wasn't my 'girlfriend'. But we had an exclusive relationship (so basically she was!). We got on AMAZINGLY! But for some reason I freaked out. So I ended it. My reasons for ending it were that I didn't want to have girlfriend, I didn't want to string her along... and basically want to see other women! Problem is, I actually REALLY like her and am majorly gutted that I cut her off... So slightly confused on what to do and how I feel about things. I want the best of both worlds... even though its not the moral thing to do. Has anyone felt like this as well?     
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(#2)
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30-04-2011, 09:08 PM
You have two options. Be with her and potentially build a relationship of love and longevity or going around and having fun. The options are quite simple and there isn't really a right or wrong between the two, it comes down to what you actually want.
I'm assuming you're not at the love stage here yet, because you haven't used the word, but in my opinion love is as much a choice as it is something we can't control. By this I mean that, in order to be in love people have to be open to the possibility of it. They have to make a decision to actually fall for someone in order to fall. I think that a lot of this "inner strength" stuff actually causes guys to put up so many barriers ranging from expectations to their "standards" that they close off the possibility altogether. They say that they're open to it but make it impossible to themselves by having no flexibility at all. There are mathematical rules to poker that give you the best possible chances to win, but nobody EVER wins without taking any big risks. Sometimes we have to go against our own rules. I know part of that is unrelated to what you've said, I just wanted to say it.
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sapphire (02-05-2011) | ||
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30-04-2011, 09:26 PM
Whats so hard and scary about giving things a go with her for a few months seeing how you feel?
If you are still wondering then at least you tried and can close that chapter
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30-04-2011, 09:50 PM
Quote:
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30-04-2011, 09:57 PM
its like when u know u hav herpes but u still want to fuck..
 The Fuckest Uppest
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30-04-2011, 10:19 PM
Quote:
When you see her with someone else, are you going to regret your decision not to be with her? How is that going to make you feel? It's usually only at the point that we've truly lost something that we realise we've made a mistake. Right now you know you can still have her, how are you going to feel when that's gone entirely?
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30-04-2011, 10:27 PM
I'll be gutted... but I'll think that she's (potentially) found someone that will love her as much as she loves him. Which is cool!
I wish I could... but I feel like I haven't got that capacity in myself to do so (at the moment).
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