Tuesday night, central London - 1st solo sarge

[SmileyK]

For the first time ever, I decided to go it alone tonight. This is a fairly long post, but hopefully one which will be useful. There are also some questions at the end.

In the past couple of hours a lot of assumptions have come crashing down, I can only describe it as when someone cleans your windscreen and you realise how much clearer everything is.

There were several key moments during the course of this evening, I shall describe these now.

Before going out I tried to find a wing, but with no success. Now I had to make a decision:
- was I going to be one of those guys who looks at the forum all the time, sees some good ideas, but never takes action;
- or was I just going to step out of the comfort zone and see where it takes me?

Two phrases came to mind - 'man the fuck up' (which is probably what Phil, Jaz or numerous others would have said) and 'fuck it' (I credit this one to AJay).

So Option 2 it was. Amuse myself on OKCupid, watch a bit of Blueprint and I'm good to go.

Have a can of beer on the way for dutch courage, get some music on to get me into the right frame of mind.

Get to the door, and the bouncer says 'do you have a stamp'. I say no, I then say I'm on the guest list, the bouncer's response is 'there is no guest list'. I then mention the name of my contact, at which point the other bouncer (female) says 'you're a friend of the DJ right?' Crisis over.

1st question: what do you do when the bouncer is being a dick, as clearly demonstrated here?

IN THE CLUB
------------

As I enter, there are more girls than guys - excellent. However, the girls look around 17-18. This throws me a bit. I take a little walk around, then go to the bar and order my drink. Make friends with the barman in the process - tonight I'm going to be Mr Sociable.

Stand next to two guys at the edge of the dancefloor. Said to one of them 'I've walked into a school disco', cue laughter from both of us. We scope the 18 year olds - 7 of them are dancing in a circle, they are the only ones on the dancefloor. The 3 second rule has well and truly elapsed.

The guy says to me 'you should go and talk to them'. We both correctly identify the hottie of the group, who is a solid 8. I stand there watching, the chode in me starts to creep back.

The hottie and a friend break off from the group and go to the bar. An opportunity had presented itself. Man the fuck up!

I stride over to the bar and stand next to them, but pretend like I'm ordering a drink. I then turn to her and say 'who are you?' with a slightly demanding tone. She gives her name and asks for mine - positive response!

The hottie's friend says it's the hottie's birthday. Looking back, I probably should have asked (or guessed) how old she was.

The hottie's friend then says 'dance with us', and before I know it I'm dancing with 4 girls. I tell them I'm a terrible dancer and need help, demonstrating my inability by doing a Mr Bean dance.

One of her friends then appears from nowehere - a little black dress hottie, with serious curves (she will be known as LBD hottie). We grind for a bit, contemplate going in for the k-close but didn't do it. I then leave them to talk to some other people.

Next I see 2 blonde girls sitting down, there had been a dodgy looking guy sitting next to them 10 minutes before, they looked kinda Russian. The girls are now sitting by themselves. Fuck it, I sit down next to them and say 'Will I get killed if I sit here?' I explain that their guy looks a bit dodgy, they then say that he's not with them and they were trying to get rid of him.

Both the girls are Swedish, and 9s. I talk to one, quite a lot of kino, do the ring finger routine. Not sure how to escalate - aaargh! Ask them to dance, she says 'no'. Oh well, eject.

At this point my state feels good. Chilling by the side, two more 9s walk by me - they were damn fine. Split-second hesitation and they were gone.

When they are walking back, I don't make the same mistake. Try to get the attention of the 9 in the blue dress, she just carried on walking as if I wasn't there. Blowout!

I just laugh, I find blowouts funny - they missed out on the potential fun!

Doing my rounds and I pass the LBD hottie again. Try to dance with her, blown off! Oh well, move on.

And there came a point in the night where I just didn't care, just vibing with people there.

If anyone asked who I came with, I was going to make up a story about wanting to stay out after my friends went home. I couldn't be arsed with that in the end - 2 girls asked me if I was on my own, and I just said 'yeah, I felt like going out so I did'. One of them said to me 'I rate you'.

Another standout moment was when I was near the bar, and I saw the 9 in the blue dress who blew me out earlier dancing with hee friend in the middle.

Pre-PUA - I would have done nothing and thought that I was not worthy;

Post-PUA - I thought 'if I'm going to fail, might as well fail spectacularly'.

On that note I strode up to Blue Dress and said 'I tried to talk to you earlier but you ignored me. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?'

It really could have gone either way, but she just started laughing. We exchanged names, chatted for a bit, then did my 'Mr Bean dancing' routine. She said 'I don't want to leave my friend', to which my response was 'we'll dance as a three' and put my arms around both of them. They seemed to be shocked by the audacity, then moved away. Oh well, by this point I was buzzing.

Finally - entered another 2 set I had spoken to earlier and started grinding with one of the girls (was dancing with her before). Some intense eye contact, but no k-close! 'I don't kiss guys in clubs'. Tried to find out where they were staying (they were tourists), but again wasn't sure how to escalate. So at this point I called it a night.

WHAT I LEARNED
----------------

1) I finally took action and it felt AMAZING. The buzz was so massive I can't sleep, hence why I'm writing this;

2) I've internalised a lot more things than I thought I did - I'm sure someone on the forum said 'challenge assumption', that phrase was a powerful motivator tonight;

3) I interacted with a LOT of people tonight, didn't want to go into the 'chode zone' of standing around so just kept it moving. Result - stayed in state for the majority of the night;

4) I need to get out of the comfort zone more often, it fucking rocks!

5) Relating to (4), I need to 'pull the trigger' more often and escalate/close.


QUESTIONS
------------

1) I am fucking terrible at remembering names, and really want to get this sorted. Any pointers?

2) The club was pretty loud, so was struggling to hear people...I'm sure other people have had this problem, so what did you do?

3) What would you do regarding girls who reject you, but then keep placing themselves in your proximity? This tended to be the younger girls who did this...I think next time this happened I would just do the 'Claw' and take control of the situation. However, any other pointers are welcome.

Looking forward to the weekend!

(however if anyone wants to go out tomorrow hit me up )

[Refl3x]

1) I am fucking terrible at remembering names, and really want to get this sorted. Any pointers?Give them all stupid random names, builds comfort and a private joke between you 2
2) The club was pretty loud, so was struggling to hear people...I'm sure other people have had this problem, so what did you do?
Get in close, instant kino, catch her eyes and give her a kiss

3) What would you do regarding girls who reject you, but then keep placing themselves in your proximity? This tended to be the younger girls who did this...I think next time this happened I would just do the 'Claw' and take control of the situation. However, any other pointers are welcome.
Carry on with different girls in front of them, they are just trying to attention whore you because knwoone else is paying them attention

.................................................

[PostScript]

Good work SmileyK, my two cents:

Bouncers: doesn’t hurt to have a few regular venues where you’ve built up a rapport with the bouncers, bar staff…etc. The whole “owning the venue” mentality.

Names: I just keep repeating it in my head until it sticks…am sure someone on here knows an association method that would be better.

Noisy: don’t fight it, focus more on your non verbals and tonality which gives you more bang for your buck anyway.

Rejection: it’s an opportunity to handle it well, laugh it off and continue having fun with someone nearby, which by the way you’re already doing.

When they say “I don’t kiss guys in clubs”, you laugh and say “yeah I don’t kiss guys in clubs either” or “me neither”, something to that effect, spin it. Applies in other situations too.

PS

[Refl3x]

I don’t kiss guys in clubs

or any kind of crap comment i dont want

I would say
'Shut your face' and plough on

or ultra classic

Her: I dont kiss guys in clubs
Me: (points to fat tard chode guy) maybe he gives a fuck

[Knave]

Amazing dude not many will go out solo good stuff, a lot of positives in this.

You raised an interesting point as well you don't have to pretend you're waiting for your mates or looking for them. If you're confident and having fun, just say you're alone, you get massive respect from chicks. I very rarely say I waiting for mates these days, the last comment I got was 'you're brave', however acting like a AFC and this can easily be 'oh how sad'.

Well done, like the school disco comment I might use that myself hah