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Default Was I rejected and why? - 16-08-2020, 09:56 PM

Hi guys, first time poster so looking for help.

Will spare you the back story even though it would add context but I know getting to the point is more important.

So I'm in London yesterday. I'm with 2 guys and 2 girls in a bar, friends from work. Obviously you can't really get up and move about currently due to covid rules so you're basically stuck with either the people you're with or the bar staff.

I get bored and decide to try my luck with this very attractive girl who is serving us.

I don't really bother to try game on her, i just move her round a bit to the side of the table for a quick 1on 1 where my friends can't hear us and I ask her name.

She seems to be warm to me, asks where we are fom, our plans for the night etc.
I notice an accent and bring it up, she's from South Africa. We discussed this a bit and have a bit of banter about it.
At this point I ramp it up and mention that she is a very beautiful girl, this is never my style, but like I said, I was bored, and couldn't be bothered to run game.. I was basically banking on her just finding me good looking enough back that I didn't really need to be clever about it.

"oh my god, thats just made my night thank you so much
" she says

Me- "you're very welcome, listen, I'm going to need you put your number in my phone."

Her - "yes I promise I will I just have to go do that table."

Okay, so this is where I was, I thought it was mission accomplished. I was wrong.

This is where I need your help and opinions on what went wrong.

The next time she came back to take another order I pull her to the side again.
" okay, so, what's going on, number or not?"

Her - "yes I promise you, I will, it's just my manager is a bit funny about this stuff so ill do it at the end."

I make her pinky promise me to establish a bit of contact, she's bashful, flirty, I'm relaxed again.
, I've been assertive, now I can't be pushy and have to take her word for it.

Unfortunately my friends now know what's going on on, and one of them goes" oi love, you giving him your number or not? "

She says she will again and that she will have to bring it with the bill to avoid the manager getting suspicious.

Anyway, long story short, the bill is called for, she brings over the bill, one of the girls I'm with picks up the bill and looks at it" ha gutted mate she's not even put It on there! "
This is said by my friend in front of the bar girl who doesn't know where to look. Neither do I. By now I've clocked the girl clearly isn't comfortsble and I'm not getting her number, and I just want to leave.

In what I felt to be an act of pity and to save both her and my faces, she says to my friend, can you memorize this number for me, and proceeds to give him a phone number for me, supposedly. He takes it down in his phone. Later on we don't even check if its real, I just make him delete it..
I'll admit, I'm not handling this great by that point, I've not even looked at the girl, I don't understand why she said she'd give me her number then humiliate me in front of my friends with this really slow awkward way of dealing with it.

Anyway, I get up with my friends and leave, as we get up the bar girl says to one of my girl mates - "I really didn't mean to offend anyone I'm sorry."

Now that in itself perhaps confirms she never wanted to give me her number in the first place, but it's just such an odd way to handle it.

I wasnt overly pushy when talking to her one on one, she could easily of just said she had a boyfriend, or I wasn't her type, I really don't get why she would seem interested and then drag it all out so long and do what she did.

So basically, these are the possibilities for me:

1. She never wanted to give me her number but was too shy to say. She literally faked interest to be polite and just hoped she could get out of it some how thus resulting in my humiliation

2. She was interested at first, but the fact my mates got involved, and made it a big deal coupled with the fact I asked twice put her off?

Either way, it damaged my ego, I don't mind a rejection, but this one was in front of all my work friends, and it was done in such a non direct and backhanded way I really dont know what to make of it

Opinions welcome. Please.
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HaveACuppaTea's Avatar
Default 18-08-2020, 04:48 PM

Girls that work in bars are hit on all the time. They are meant to be friendly, that's their job. I suppose you could have written your number down on a bit of paper and given it to her. Either way, it doesn't matter now, forget about it.
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Jeepster's Avatar
Default 18-08-2020, 05:46 PM

I think you came across as too needy and pushy. The more you push the more resistance you will encounter.
You gave her the opportunity, she didnt take it, so what, no big deal you move on and you would of looked mora Alpha with the couldnt careless attitude, you would of kept your power instead of giving all the power to her.
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