Delusionalcondfidence's Field Reports

[Delusionalconfidenc3]

Hello gang,

New here. Used to be pretty decent at game. Got into some long term relationships and got away from it. I am ready to get back into it.

Went out last night with my wing I'll call tj

we to a rock and roll bar
Opened a 3 set at the bar to my right

they each have a bud light cans in their hands or near them

Delusionalconfidence: how are the bud lights here? do they have a heavy pour here?

girls: (laughing) oh yeah. they make a really good bud light here. You should try it.

we chat a little but the set is a little dry.

I have some friends at a whiskey bar nearby so we head there.


I spot a two set at the bar. Open with
DC: Happy Saturday to you two (accompanied with a cheers gesture with my drink)

they cheers back and we start chatting. They are receptive. hb6 and a hb6.5
I had set a challenge in the car to say the following line at some point in the night "Have you gotten laid yet?" It was part of an inside joke tj and I had.
I saw the opening

DC: Its 2020 yall. Have you gotten laid yet? (said to both of them)
hb6: [wide eyed but laughing]
hb6.5: hmmm ? [she starts to smile and think about it]
DC: you dont know! It was right around new years wasnt it!?!?

they both bust out laughing

I turn over the shoulder to tj that he should hear this. Mostly because I won the challenge. He comes in and runs the set for a bit.

I see an hb7 tall chick in a four set. I open her

DC: I like what you got going on over here
hb7tall: thanks you too.
hb7 tall: I am a designer for spaces and its what I do
DC: so you have an eye for fashion and design
hb7: yes!
DC: well what do you make of all this? (I gesture to myself up and down)
hb7: I like this and this the jeans, the shoes not so much
DC: lol. I'm going to take $10,000 and have you come to my place and remodel it top to bottom
hb7: I will totally do that!
DC: whatever is left over at the end you keep
hb7: smiles

we continue some normal convo and she gives me her number

I roll back into the set of 6s just for fun. tj is slaying them with humor.
some afc comes in asking for napkins. hb6.5 hands him some

DC: you should charge for that! Its 2020 and you got to be about your money girl
hb6.5: dam right!
DC: like those napkins should have been $2. Or letting someone pass by you $0.50. Or a blowjob... TWO hundred dollars!

they all bust out lAUGHIHNG hard

DC: Its 2020!!
they laugh even harder

I spot a mixed 5 set at a table
there is an hb8 looking like a blonde uma thurman and an hb8 brunette. It has to be opened.

I roll in and open the group. I forgot what I said though. This is part of the reason for these FRs. I'll have more incentive to remember this stuff and through observation comes improvement.
Any way it turns out that it is hbbrunettes birthday.
DC: like this day birthday, or its close to your birthday?
hb8: like today today right now!
DC: OK I got something for you. For our little birthday girl. Ill need a paper napkin

she looks at me

hb8: Oh like you want me to go get one?
DC: we will need one

she then fights her way to the bar and comes back with a stack of napkins.

DC: ok cool

I then grab a candle from a nearby table and light the napkin on fire. I then make it disappear in my hand. They are all amazed and letting it show. Including the dudes who are now cheersing and smiling and apparently disarmed.

I chat the girls more and dont quite remember the convo. I could tell though that the birthday girl was with one of the dudes and hb8umathurman is not.
I rejoin my friends.

I then see an hb8brownjacket by the bar leaning on it. solo set
I roll up and go direct
DC: I saw you here and just had to come up. I was drawn to you. (strong eye contact)

she smiles back and its on. I lock in at the bar and we have a charged conversation. at one point i said

DC: dont look at me with those hazel eyes. theres only room for one pair of hazel eyes in here and its mine.

we are intently lookin each other in the eyes

hb8brownjacket: well I should change that

she closes her eyes and spins and then reopens them. If they were a differnt color I was about to lose my sht. They werent. But I like that she tried
I pull her into me.

DC: is this too much exposure for you?
note: this is something Ill say to see if she is here with friends, or a bf or something
hb8: these are all my friends here including the ones behind the bar
DC: Oh you know RZA?
hb8: Yes!
DC: here come with me

I lead her to the patio and find a booth. Its too bright out there. The lights are just too bright but I continue the set. Shortly though her friends come out she bounces out with them.

There were a couple of errors in this set that stand out that I will do different next time. There was a dip in energy when I brought up that we were both friends with the bartender. I did not need to create any rapport at that point by having a mutual friend. It hurt actually because she confessed she has a live in boyfriend. The second error was moving her to a brightly lit space rather than the same lighting or darker. It was a palpable feel in energy of the set falling.

I go back in and see hb8uma talking to one of the dudes. The rest of her group had left. I say to tj "I need a favor. Im going to talk to uma thurman can you talk to the dude?". Like a champ he does

I reengage to two set it opens wide and I end up #closing uma thurman with plans to go to my friend's italian restaurant.

I say to tj theres on more set to open. He looks around. Its late and there are only like 8 people in there. He doesnt see it. I do though. theres an hb8blonde talking to a handsome dude and the bar. they are seated and very close to each other. I walk by and over the shoulder open

"you two are the most handsome couple in here"
they both smile wide and we start talking
they guy shakes my hand and everyone is all in good spirits
I find out they are out together and she lives in my neighborhood.
DC: I need a new friend in midtown!
she smiles and offers up her number. I invite them to my after party which is forming as we speak and they are excited and down.

bar closes. we leave. after party didnt go down.
Overall it was a fun night with a ton of laughs

lessons learned:
1. in the set that was ON no need to establish that we have common friends if she is clearly trying to have an interaction with me that she doesnt want her bf to know about.
2. be cognizant of the lighting and mood of the move spot even if the set is ON. It can switch off quick
3. I'm working on being fun without hitting on the girl. The other parts of my personality, body language, etc will attract the desirable females. Even mystery says to wait seven minutes.
4. find a way to get into my optimum state without alcohol. That is the next hurdle to conquer

[Delusionalconfidenc3]

Tonight I turned a corner. Albeit a small one.

Since getting back to game I have noticed I have become reliant on alcohol when gaming at night. I like the night scene and all its entertainment but being hungover the next day is becoming more and more unacceptable to me. Plus I am realizing my game needs work and I am not improving as fast or noticing areas I can improve upon readily when I am buzzed or more. I have made a quality decision to not drink when I'm out so I can properly fix my game.

This has been an intimidating decision. Shouldnt be. I have done this before just need to man up.

Tonight I manned up. No alcohol.

Karaoke Bar:
My favorite dive bar. I get a soda water from the bar. I spot a lone hb7.5brunette

Delusionalconfidence: Are you going to sing us a song?
hb7.5brunette: I'm not a singer or at least the songs on this list. I can sing just not these songs
DC: yeah it took me a while to find something I like
hb7.5: what song are you doing
DC: dock of the bay otis redding
hb7.5: alright

at this point it get loud as the next singer went up. this is a very loud bar with their karaoke. I sat down at the bar. my set wandered off.

I notice this hb7.5 with a see thru top on dancing all up and down the dance floor. she is with a couple by the bar not dancing. she is trying to encourage them they refuse. She walks by and I catch wind of some major body odor. turn off but other than that she was cute. she was a little drunk and probably been sweating through her stuff all night. she sang a song and got off stage.

DC: (i poke her as she saddles up to the bar next to me) hey you killed that by the way
hb7.5seethru: thank you

she rolls off back to her friends never actually having gotten anything from the bar

i get up to sing my song. she comes by the stage and dances and watches for a bit and then gives me some rock and roll hands and disappears upstairs.

I call an uber. On the way out I see her outside smoking with some other people smoking.

DC: that wasnt bad in there
hb7.5: you also, you hey awesome were

afc1: nice english!

hb7.5: my english is I hate english I prefer french
DC: vous parle francais?
hb7.5: (excited) oui! ( bla bla french babble)

we converse in french a little bit the little bit I know

she returns to talking to the smoking group. I get in my uber.

Lessons from the night:
1. I made it out the door and opened two legit sets with Zero alcohol. Im super pumped about that!
2. The hb7.5brunette I could have done "guess" when she asked me what song I was doing. Or I could have asked her a question back. Or I could have launched into a story. Giving just a straight up answer like that to an hb I just met did not build attraction and more likely lessened any attraction there.
3. The hb7.5seethru I could have gamed a lot more after she smiled at my situational opener. Next time just stack off and go into some material. Instead I stayed quiet.
4. Outside after reengaging hb7.5seethru I could have just gone into some material. I felt the eyes of her smoker group stifle me a little bit at that point.
5. My recollection of this night as I write this is super sharp because of my alcohol free mind clarity. I am glad to see I have not loss this recall ability after the years of alcohol abuse. Thank you brain!

[nothing]

sounds pretty solid and versatile

one observation: as an artist you should place more trust in your instincts and intuition
- for example, if i were you i would try to remove rules and conditions and "i should have done so and so" and "from now on ..." and keep my options open
a sense of freedom and improv is imho more important than do's and don'ts, and it sparks creativity

good luck with your no alcohol policy

ever thought about a girl wing?

[Delusionalconfidenc3]

@nothing I had a female wing for a stretch in the past, but not lately. I mean sht its hard enough to get a capable dude out winging these days here. But now that Im going out again Ill keep my eye open. Quality suggestion

[Delusionalconfidenc3]

Tonight was an interesting night. Trying my best to stay alcohol free. Went to my friends comedy show and then to a bar that serves food. They sat and ate. I chatted an hb6 from their social circle at the bar as I sipped a soda and lime.
Just normal conversation about work and hobbies. She was attracted I could see but I was not. After a pleasant interaction I gave her my card for work stuff and I left to the karaoke bar.

At the karaoke bar:

I spot a two set with two hb7s
DC: its almost time to get started are you gals signed up

they both light up and seem excited for the conversation.

HB7s: no but are you? are you going to sing? what will you sing?

we talk and they are excited to see me perform. later as i do my song they are in the corner cheering like it was damn beatles concert. that was nice for fun purposes. I wasnt interested in these girls particularly.

I open a two set of hb6 and hb7.5
Im about to go on stage

I approach and put my arms around both of them from behind in huddle type formation.
DC: Ok girls you have been holding down this corner all night I'm going to need you to hold it down for one more song
girls: OK!

Im noticing my state is sht and I feel it is a direct reflection of my alcohol withdrawal and being in this bar. But I force myself to push through.

As I finish my song an hb8.5blonde who was at the front of the stage shouts something as everyone is cheering. I think it was "take my number!" but I couldnt quite hear.
A few minutes later I go to investigate. She and this one guy have been all over each other all night. It looks like a couple but also looks too in the moment to be a real couple or rather a long term couple. Anyhow I go open it

DC: (I come up between the midddle and huddle them both in the guy on my right and the girl on my left) You guys have been supporting people all night ...
hb8.5: you were awesome!
afc: you killed it!
DC: thanks but no you guys have been repping everyone

at this point they both are facing me looking to me to lead the convo somewhere. I didnt. I ejected. Sounds funny as I write this now.

Still battling my state I call it an evening

lessons learned:

1. Im committed to this journey of alcohol free game reboot. It has not been easy. But I was happy today to be healthy and rested and not hungover.
2. I caught myself in some negative self talk patterns like
a. my hair doesnt look great tonight
b. are these clothes fitting perfect
Its all straight bullsht I know and I am considering ways to combat that.
Of course action overcomes all of that. That may be the solution
3. The set with the hb8.5 I should take it somewhere just cut that thread and go with another one. There was sufficient attraction from the girl to continue and I could have gauged what the real deal with the dude was/is
4. the hb7s to start the night were a good warm up set and turned out to bring cheering value later in the night.
5. I found myself prejudging girls as not cute enough and not engaging. Moving forward I'll remember "its always better to be in set than not"

I'll call tonight a win because I went to the comedy club and the bar, and the high energy bar and did not drink. Dam I sound like a mfkn AA confession. Maybe my dependency was stronger than I realized. Anyhow if I can get out the door, make an effort to open some sets (albiet there is room to do a lot more), and post a FR then that is a WIN in my book at this stage of the game.
Tomorrow night I will do the same.

[nothing]

you may not like to hear this, but sounds a bit like AA is not such a bad idea

i have a slight problem with lessons learned: 5. Sounds like you have standards, not like you're prejudging, I think standards are good. Imho it's better to throw the 3s rule out the window and just stand back and gather some information, like "she looks good but omg is she really wearing that" or "did that just come out of her mouth? omg how superficial can you get?". With just a bit more time invested in observation before you enter a set, you might be saving yourself some time wasted on people who don't deserve your company. If an fclose or FR is all you're after then forget what I said, but otherwise, maybe it's better to spend time with people you find fascinating and that are worthy of respect. I could debate more on the 3s rule but I will just say this: approaching someone after 2 seconds is not even that mysterious

[Delusionalconfidenc3]

tonights festivities

rock and roll bar:
I know this bar gets slow on tuesday but I force myself to get out of the house and at least go sing a song.
I do that. fun.
Its a two level bar. I go upstairs. There is a three set of hb8s. hb8short, hb8blackhair, hbbrunette

they are at the bar chatting the bartender. One whips out a christmas ornament looking thing proclaiming
hb8black: I always find stuff going out

I open from a seat at the bar adjacent

DC: that looks like a christmas ornament.

she ignores the comment but hb8short one person over chimes in

DC: it does. bla bla bla

I go downstairs. I know theyll be there later

I notice hb9exotic and her guy downstairs. I know them from being regulars at this bar. always a delight. she is full of energy, loves to laugh and always buys me shots on his tab. I hang with her for a bit. I'm not looking for any shots as im going alcohol free tonight. she pesters me to sing and i tell her im signed up. just then the three set from upstairs enters.

hb8brunette gets up and sings a christina aguilera song and nails it.
I roll up

DC: ok THAT was amazing. really. i think i might be in love.
I do this with good body language and half hug thing going on. She opens
hb8: oh ya really?
DC: i have to go upstairs but ya that was on point.
hb8: bla bla
she stays and we talk a little bit and i rejoin myk previous set at the bar.

hb9 buys me a shot. I guess alcohol free means only free alcohol

hb8 comes by to sign up for a song. after she does I reopen
DC: what are you going to do? youre going do to what?
she leans right in and eyes are locked she's really into it. Im locked in seated at the bar and shes leaning in to make sure i can hear her. we bs about her doing a duet
DC: you should come record with me.
hb8: I would really like that.
DC: its all contingent on this song and how you do
hb8: ok
DC: ok lets play a game. Ill tell you two truths and a lie. you tell me which is the lie.
at this point she gets called on stage
hb8: we will continue this after im done!

she gets up to sing. I move to a different part of the bar. it is at this point I realize its a four set. the three hbs and a super gay gay dude.
I chat up the girls while her friend is on stage. the dude disappears

she comes down from the stage and is in set with some dudes. she walks by I reengage and she puts her arm around my waist. I see her short friend start to say her goodbye . as they talk amongst themselves I see my girl is staying. friend leaves.
then the next friend comes up and they have the same conversation and same result.
then my girl says where are we going?

I quickly work up a plan. we are going to the local dive bar.
she says ok. we go upstairs.

her friend the dude is in a heated discussion with the bartender over stupid sht. music copyright or something.
i see them interact and through the course of the night learn they are close friends. she invites him along.
dude: lets go to *gay bar*!
DC: lets all go!

we go to the gay bar. ive been here before. Its about 10 percent girls but those girls open wide the fk open with very little game. Its kind of nice. Also the dudes wont by trying to take your girl. things begin to escalate with me and my girl. shes grinding on me and turns her head to kiss. We do. Its fun

dude: lets walk around lets socialize.
DC: you guys go. I'll hold it down over here.

she doesnt want to go but she walks with him as they take a lap.
I chill by the bar ready to mingle there. they are back quick.
shes back dancing and kissing again.

girl suggests we go to *club* up the street. we all go.

at the dance club she's on my lap trying to make out. I go about 50 percent of the time. pull away first most of the time. tease her half the time.

DC: lets go back to my place i want to have a scotch and Ill make you a vodka soda
hb8: ok
DC: ill call an uber

at this point dude goes into major ckblck mode. he likes me. but it seems he doesnt want her to have fun without him? idk. its a little messy. i stay non reactive she keeps nodding as he is talking in her ear. As her and I are walking out the bar he is clinging hard. eventually he gets the hint and we get in the uber.

the uber driver despite our request cant get any music going. my girl falls asleep lying on me. Im trying to keep the convo going telling her how ill take her to burning man
interesting she responded well to the conversation be it one way with her just smiling and nodding and laying on me.

10 minute ride we are back to my place. we go up and make out a little but the vibe is less. we get inside. i get us drinks and guess who calls.

dude: where are you!?!? drop a pin im coming

my girl stays on the phone with this dude hes constantly like "stay on the phone with me!?"
im not saying a whole lot just staying non reactive. I had seeded that she could only stay for a drink bc i have an early morning. I start playing that frame harder so should we meet again her leaving was "my idea"

the dude gets close and asks her [its on speaker phone the whole time] 'where can i park?'
no one invited this dude but hes inviting himself. he wants me for himself. this sucks.
DC: ive got an early morning
hb8: theres no where to park

he keeps at it.
dude: I just need to come up and have some water

we kiss and I send her on her way can't help feeling I could have somehow converted this set


lessons learned:
1. I could have dropped the "we like each other, are you cool with that" line. he would have no choice and would probably come blocking less hard. maybe

2. There was a vibe dip going into the uber and in the uber. I could have kept the energy going with conversation better.

3. same as 2 when we got to my building

4. I was not anticipating that phone call but maybe could have somehow had her put her phone on do not disturb. idk that might be a stretch

5. could probably have seeded the bounce with something less obvious then lets have drinks at my place. but the set was so on idk.

6. could probably limited the pda stuff a lot more so getting to my place would give here a chance to seek that there.

7. goal tonight was good body language and angle and I think I did that.

Fun night though