Being too fussy
 

Hi there,

Havent posted a field report for a while, so here goes.

Some of you on here know me, for those who don't I have about 2 years ecperience and probably would call myself a Pick Up Artist.

However, just lately ive began seeing a slight problem with myself. I currently have 3/4 women on the go at the moment, one of which may turn into a relationship but i doubt it, and the reason im telling u this is because it is causing me a problem.

One of them is a solid hb8, one a 6, 5 and probably another 6 and what I keep doing when Im out is comparing them to other women saying stuff like

"there is no point opening that set......there is no-one who i fancy" "or nah, its not worth my time" and "her arse isnt quite perfect" and not opening.

To be fair, i think i have a point, after all what is the point if u dont really fancy them?????

Obv there are reasons..... its fun, builds socail value etc etc

I no longer have AA, or if i do its extremly small and i always get past it no matter how big or hot the set is, although sometimes i do take a while to see how best to open them, so thats not the reason why im not opening as many as i use too.

Again however, on sat i opened a good 8 sets and got no where, was i being too fussy, was it me???? (and that was in the space of about an hour and a half)

Last night again i was quite fussy and got a solid number close of an hb7and we are texting a lot. However would I have got more if i opened every other set in the venue??

After having done this 2 years, i am at a point where im not quite sure of the balance of being picky but also knowig socail value and getting in the mood and having fun is important

Please help

Thanks

ali

I don't think being too fussy is a problem, but I don't think you should compare against what you already have though.

I do find myself not wanting to open quite a lot of sets because I don't fancy them. If I do open them my body language doesn't work correctly, because my heart isn't in it.
I do find there is a fine line between not wanting to open and using it as an excuse, there should at least be a few sets you want to open in a night.

In terms of being social and opening lots of people making a difference to your progress on the night with a girl you fancy, I can't be sure. There are other ways to increase your social value as opposed to opening every set in the building, for example knowning key people - bouncers, managers, bar staff, djs.

My 2c. Hope the sargings going well mate!! :)

You need to punch above your weight

Nobody is above your weight... once you realise that just go for what makes you happy.

There are no perfect girls out there but there are some who are a lot of fun and it's about finding the ones you'll have fun with!!

That's true, but when you have someone you're happy with, you go out and (try and) look for better ones. What's the point in going for 'lesser' ones? (yes sounds a bit shallow)

I agree thoroughly you have to upgrade with each date, girlfriend, ltr but if you are happy you wouldn't be looking...

yeah... but... ;) when it's give you confidence... you can't help but carry on

Sounds an awful lot to me like you're stuck in a gamey matrix way of doing things, you're bored with it, and now doing it through perceived obligation to yourself. That will obviously give you a state transference problem. You need to drop the structure you're working (working being the appropriate word, where's the fun?) and aerate your approach by working on widening out your life into other areas so that higher quality women are a by product.

PS

I'm not going to lie most of my confidence has come from the PUA material but it's all inner game and especially since watching RSD Blueprint and relating to Roody's post, my confidence is within myself, guys, girls, bosses, customers, etc. everybody is the same. By no means am I perfect at pickup but it's not picking up that gives me that confidence, it's just a fun bi-product of the journey I'm on.

It comes from self improvement and like you say the journey. After listening to RSD etc, all of these self-improvement books/videos etc are similar to other areas such as Rich Dad Poor Dad - go do it!!!

Yes you can, happiness is either there or it isn't. You are either happy with the person you are with or you are not. When you become happy with someone you no longer feel a need to seek others because you are happy with what you have.

The issue with constantly seeking something better and better and hitting a ceiling where no one is ever good enough I believe comes from emotional attachments. People make the mistake of comparing new (potential partner) people to those best they have had in the past. The problem with this is that those best they've had in the past are (usually) those that they have had the deepest emotional connections with. Connections that take months and even years of building, where we know our partners inside out and they also.

No new person you ever meet can hope to live up to such a comparison once you've hit a certain point and thus you hit a ceiling. Couple this with the emotional defensiveness inherent in the community - not investing oneself - and you can see why people get this problem.

The solution is in realising that in order for you to ever find someone that lives up to previous standards one has to actually become emotionally involved and seek to make that relationship work, opposed to doing what is generally advised, ending the relationship the moment a problem occurs(on the theory that there are plenty of other women he could have anyway) rather than being a man and attempting to solve it.