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Where did i go wrong?

Long story short:
Girl in my uni/college. Ive known her for like a year and a half now but never been in a situation where we spoke. Heard through a friend that she thought i was cute.

Been making meaningful eye contact for a week or so, and finally approached her when she was alone.

For some reason, eye contact went out the window for majority of the 4 minute conversation, instead of asking for her number i asked for something else (social media) to which she replied, i already have you on that? (i had asked for the wrong social media! great) So at this point i knew i had fucked up.
After one or two random questions about her i said okay ill talk to you on X. Turns out she hasnt accepted my request.

So, where to move on from here?
I dont want it to be awkward since i see a lot of her so how should i smooth the failure out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madmanting (Post 98680)

For some reason, eye contact went out the window for majority of the 4 minute conversation, instead of asking for her number i asked for something else (social media) to which she replied, i already have you on that? (i had asked for the wrong social media! great) So at this point i knew i had fucked up.

You don't fuck up by asking for the wrong social media.

You fuck up by not taking action and being a little pussy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madmanting (Post 98680)

After one or two random questions about her i said okay ill talk to you on X. Turns out she hasnt accepted my request.

So, where to move on from here?
I dont want it to be awkward since i see a lot of her so how should i smooth the failure out?

Find other girls.
Get comfortable talking to other girls.
Get comfortable being the best you that you can be.
Go on to live a happy life with this even as a distant memory.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 98686)

First off, I agree with everything daleinthedark said in his response.

Attack! Attack! Attack!

If someone has gone as far as trying to get the word out to you that you should hit on them, you should hit on them. She probably thinks that she has already given you a tonne of signals that you should hit on her and you haven't.

Last time this happened to me - Was English winter in my friend's car, she went into her friend's house then they both came out and talked on the step. As we drove home my friend told me that the other girl wanted to talk on the step so she could see me through the car window because she thought I was cute. I got in the shower, had a shave, got dressed nice and went straight back round uninvited and knocked on her door. All went well.

Not this...

Here is the meaning of that eye contact - (Excepting the very first moment and unless you are obviously occupied with something that you can't just stop doing) every moment when you are making 'meaningful eye contact' with a girl you aren't already hitting on is a moment where you are losing value in her eyes. Because she'll start to think that you lack confidence in yourself.

She liked you before because she thought you were cute and just imagined a bunch of other positive qualities on top of that, like that you are confident and witty and intelligent, etc, etc. But with your stalling she maybe started to question whether you had those other qualities and when you eventually approached her you needed to sparkle because she'd already washed some of the shine off of her imagined you.

I'd advise you set off on a long journey of growth.

Specifically relating to this, don't sweat it. There's no failure here. You had a bland everyday chat to another person in your extended social circle for a few minutes. That is all. Next time I saw her I'd just hit on her, I'd go up to her, give her a kiss on the cheek, put my hand on her waist and start talking to her.

Smoothing awkward failure out is for when you kiss her younger, prettier sister or insult her boring, overbearing, best friend or pass out in her bathroom in a pool of your own vomit on her birthday. Once, I did all those things in a day. It was a great day.

Peace,

kowalski

Well yeah. I guess i got a lot to learn still.

Turns out she has a boyfriend.....But i sort of guessed she had beforehand just didn't care.

But shes fucked me up nicely. I tried talking to her friend today. Seems like shes been talking about me quite a lot based on the reaction which equated to "annoying".

Stop playing the victim. Stop blaming her for your emotions.

You need to be aware of your emotions but don't let them have control you.
A massive part of being good with girls (and pretty much everything) is mindfullness. Do some research of mindfullness, you need it.

This sort of reaction is also very passive aggressive, another thing which will repulse women.

PS, everything kowalski & daleinthedark said is spot on. You really have a long journey ahead (if you decide to go on it). Get meeting new girls ! ;)

Go game other girls and don't get oneiditis. And when you feel you naturally have abundance with girls, you will play it cool there will be no awkwardness and you won't fuck up.