Some LMR advice?

[drphil]

All,

I had an LMR situation yesterday that I managed to defuse and thought I would share.

As a minimal context, I meant the girl on Tinder, she’s 32 and more introverted and proper. We went for a drink at the Shard a week day a while ago. It was a bit awkward so I thought we wouldn’t repeat. Yet she messaged me the following day thanking me for the drink. As she seemed shy and slow, I made her wait a bit. Two weeks later, I asked her out for a cup of tea and a walk a Sunday late afternoon, we discussed a few things, among which, her that she likes to cook. Two weeks later, i.e. yesterday, I suggest that she come to my place to cook, and she did.

Things were going smoothly; some wine and some making out. When we moved the the bedroom; the much dreaded LMR appeared, even though she clearly wanted things to go through.

I followed lines that I had seen in Mystery’s seminars: get away, make the girl feel rejected, she’ll come back; repeat. While it worked out in the end, it took something like 5 loops of this routine (which weren’t all super smooth, I was running out of things to say), and close to 2.5 hours.

Two elements that I would like to mention are:

1. she acted as though she had to show resistance to establish value or prove something (lines like ‘you won’t get what you want’); and

2. she said things like ‘you only want a one night stand’ and ‘I think you’re only having me over to give me an orgasm.’

While Mystery’s technique worked for me, I’m curious to hear from people who’ve experienced this more on the following:

1. What’s point 1. about? Rationally, we’re in a win-win or lose-lose situation. What’s the girl’s mental process?

2. For the first statement of point 2. above, I used a Mystery line ‘it’s fine, we don’t have to, I’m not going anywhere, blah blah.’ The part on the orgasm took me aback, however; I was stuck and this slowed the process down. Any suggestions for that one?

3. What other routines out there should I add to my game?

4. Finally, does anyone have rules to decide when they’ve tried long enough and it’s time to cut short your losses? I was close to that; while I was sure she didn’t want to leave, I felt it would just take too much time and effort.

Thanks,
drphil

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by drphil

I followed lines that I had seen in Mystery’s seminars: get away, make the girl feel rejected, she’ll come back; repeat.

What an asshole. If you like a girl, why on Earth would you want to make a girl feel rejected? Purely so you can get your dick wet? Messing with a girls head is not cool, no wonder guys get a bad name. You don't deserve anything fun with her whether sex or social hanging out, she deserves better.

Originally Posted by drphil

1. What’s point 1. about? Rationally, we’re in a win-win or lose-lose situation. What’s the girl’s mental process?

Who cares? Why not focus on having a good time with the girl & just go with the flow insrtead of overly focusing on her "mental state". Your not a mind reader. Concentrate more on being more present in the moment and enjoy what is happenign in real time and forget about end goals like having sex until you naturally move to the bedroom. Gauge her reactions for yourself based on how the interaction is going.

Originally Posted by drphil

3. What other routines out there should I add to my game?

None - if anything, remove as many of them as you can. Social interaction is real life, it's not a computer game or an exam/test your trying to beat. For what you should add to your game - see Kowalskis post further up - it tells you everything you need to know. If you really want to add some routines to your game, I'd personally recommend meditation (especially mindfullness), practise more self love exercises & look into removing some of your limiting beliefs.