PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum - Simultaneously my best and worst night for pick up...ever

It started out fairly badly. I was supposed to meet Summer Junky and a new boy, Panache, at the Greenhouse for a cheeky couple followed by chatting to some pretty girls. Then the texts came in. Summer Junky had a motherbitch of an essay to write, and Panache was in bed with Man Flu. The solution? Another night out with the flatmates and the riding club (yes, that means hot, spoilt little rich girls looking for any form of attention).

Anyway, with things looking up I headed to Mbargo's with the flatmates. It was dead. Like, really dead. Undeterred, we had a couple of drinks and slowly people started to arrive. For the first hour or so I sat and vibed, chatting to a HB9 from the riding club. I opened a few people dressed as insects with "what's the special occasion? Are you celebrating release from the lunatic asylum?" which was good and resulted in a brief chat if nothing else. It also put me right in state. Which was good.

Later on we started playing a drinking game, at which point I brought in another riding club member (a HB8) by asking "the word 'cunt' is acceptable in a drinking game context isn't it". She joined in and we got chatting.

Turned out, despite the immeasurably posh accent, she was from Grantham! Cue about 5 minutes of sublime conversation, high fiving, hugging and her being attracted to me. Good stuff. At this point, I got chatting to a girl (also from the riding club) who was literally the fittest girl I'd ever met. Ever. She might've only had the face of an 8 but she had the body of an 11. Anyway she was great - immensely chatty, leaning in, giving me all the right signs and looks.

10 minutes pass and the riding club girls are moving on. I turn to the first one (the HB8) and tell her I want to be able to get hold of her, and to give me her number. She enthusiastically agrees and hands it over, but as she does so, I get the "we're heading off, nice to meet you" from the Perfect Girl. Fuck.

Anyway, not 2 minutes pass and 3 girls (a 5, a 7 and a 9) approach and ask if they can have the now empty seats (it's at this point I realise I'm sat on my own). I agree, but much to my surprise they just sit down around me. Now maybe it's the Blueprint kicking in, but I decide I'm not having 2 eligible targets (plus their DFUF) sat near me chatting without doing anything. Cue a game (essentially 'never have I ever').

They enthusiastically take to the game, and I'm the centre of attention. Good. The 7, as it turns out, is a filthy sket. She's had both kinds of threesome, had sex in front of her gran, had her sex toys found by her mum...she's no longer a target. I motion for the 9 to sit next to me. She does so.

We have good conversation, mostly about music (she's a massive Rolling Stones fan, but rapidly changes her allegiance upon discovering I'm a die-hard Led Zeppelin fan). My friends motion to me that it's time to go, so I turn to her and say "if I'm doing something fun in the week and want to get hold of you, what's the best way?". Phone number.

It's at this point that it went downhill. 2 choads come and sit down, commanding the attention of the 2 other friends just as HB9 is putting in her number. Thus, as I ring her phone to make sure she has my number etc, choad number 1 starts chatting to her, and to be perfectly honest, I lost the set. I fully expect the number to flake (although it was a genuine number) but live and learn eh?

But then came the devastating news that ruined the whole night. No matter about my successes, this wrecked it all. I'll relay the conversation:

Me - Hey Jen, you know that Charlotte girl (Perfect Girl)? What's her situation?
Jen - Ohh she's lovely. She's [and I'm not joking] an UNDERWEAR MODEL.

Words cannot describe my excitement at this prospect. A girl who is so fit, and has such perfect tits, that she is actually paid to pose in underwear. As if to rub salt into the wound, listen to the next comment:

Jen - Ohh no Alex, you can't chat her up, she's got a boyfriend, she's been with him for years, they're totally in love!

I'm going to become religious. Clearly, contrary to my atheistic beliefs, there is a God, and he is punishing me.

Hail Jesus.