Part 1

I've not written one of these for time! I aim to write a few of these as I initially get back into this to keep track of my progress. A bit of background, I'd been out of the community after a 2 year hiatus, in my arrogance I felt I knew better and shunned all things PUA, I'd still listen to Nova's PUA 'drivel' out of politeness but felt he was edging more towards 'creep' than 'pimp'. How wrong I was!

Anyway, so recently I had the realisation that I had reverted back to my old ways, I examined myself and scrutinised my behaviour with complete honesty with some harsh (but true) words from Nova thrown in for good measure. I had not been progressing in the last two years but regressing back to old habits and mind-sets, I had been procrastinating and not taking action.

I decided to go out Saturday night with the intention specifically to meet women, not just go out and socialize and 'hope' an opportunity might present itself, but to create those opportunities for myself. As I felt I was starting pretty much from scratch again my goal was simple; just open 3 sets.

I'm feeling pretty pumped as im heading out, I feel pretty confident, I'm wearing some new threads, I feel fresh I think I look like pretty good. I head to a pub with a mate of mine, some live bands are playing. There's a two set in front of me, one of them is Oriental, (Nova suffers from Yellow Fever so to show support and solidarity towards his cause I approach the oriental girl) My heart begins to race all of a sudden, I feel a little tense, my mind tries to talk me out of it, my thoughts are no longer lucid but mushy. How odd and illogical this sensation is. I fight it and proceed anyway, I open indirectly with 'Hi you seemed to really enjoy that band, what was their name?' She tells me excitably who they were, she's a big fan (groupie more like) and followed them for years the interaction fizzles out, I say enjoy your evening and eject.

Now, I felt a sense of accomplishment that I approached, it felt great getting that adrenaline rush back but I was unhappy with the fact my approach was Indirect, therefore it felt insincere and phoney and the conversation from then on felt to me as if I was coming over insincere, I was disinterested in the chat because ultimately I could not give a shit about that band, I thought they were rubbish I was not self-amused. 'The self is always coming through' I was thus presenting insincerity and disinterest. I then asked myself, I thought she was sexy, why didn't I just communicate that from the off?, it is true after all and my intent towards her is of a sexual nature there is nothing to be ashamed of here.

From then on all approaches for the remainder of the night had to be direct, no excuses......

Part 2

[Sorry for the length of this post, but I want to use this as rather like a diary of progression, general musings, to be as in-depth as possible so that you guys can give me insight, advice, brutal honesty etc in generating as much feedback as possible]

Same night. Move onto a bar/club with my mate. There are quite a few hot girls dotted about, I'm suddenly excited rather than nervous. I'm feeling horny. I go to the dance floor I'm loving the tunes so im busting some moves, taking up a lot of space on the dance floor, behaving completely in the moment, unashamed. I spot a girl as she's taking off her jumper to cool herself down, her shirt rides up and I see a tattoo on her abdomen as well as catching a glimpse of her breasts, I walk over and say;

Me 'That's sexy',
Her 'What's sexy?'
Me 'Your tatoo'
Her 'How'd you know I have a tatoo there?'
Me 'I just noticed it when you took off your jumper, your bra was on display too, you're breasts are sexy as well'

She thought this was hilarious, we danced some. Some guy kept pulling her away from me talking sternly into her ear, I can only assume it was her boyfriend. We then tried setting up her Tank mate with my mate, that was about as far as it went.

Little brunette on dance floor, grabbed her hand tried spinning her around, she wasn't having it. I remained unaffected, it really genuinely didn't bother me, I kept dancing and enjoying myself.

Went upstairs to get myself a drink. Spot 2 girls and a guy sat at a table, I walk up to the brunette I fancy and say 'Hi, I just couldn't walk on by without telling you how beautiful you look'. She blushes and doesn't know how to react but I can see she likes it. The blonde friend says; 'Oh my god, that's her boyfriend sat next to her' I didn't notice him at first, anyway he doesn't say anything to me I just say 'Sorry mate, she's really beautiful, I'm just being honest' I suddenly dont feel too comfortable at this point as I feel im pissing on this guy's bonfire so I politely eject.

I head back down stairs. See 3 girls dancing, one of them is stunning with the perfect hour glass figure her waist, hips and ass look amazing. I'm stood behind her just watching her move her hips, I think I genuinely am entranced. I walk over to her put my arm around her waist and say 'Your ass looks amazing, especially in that shimmering dress I think you have me entranced' She doesnt seem to mind I have my hand around her waist. She says something back to me but I can't make out what she's saying due to the loudness of the music. But for some unknown reason I just walk away.

The little brunette girl from earlier at this point comes back up to me the one who wouldn't take my hand. She's clearly trying to get my attention again on the dancefloor I just ignore it, she resorts to backing her ass right into me and grinding me. I'm not turned on by this, I dont like this behaviour have some class!! I go for a piss.

My friend has bailed by this point so it's just me. I go back to the dance floor I'm dancing by myself just feeling the tunes, some huge 6ft'6 brick shit house slams be into the wall as he walks past me to get to the toilet. I'm completely taken by surprise here, everyone around me asks if im ok and says what a wanker that guy was. For the guys that know me here I'm about a foot shorter than the guy so im not exactly going to square up to him so I just continue with what im doing.

The brunette girl who I told was beautiful comes down stairs for a dance with her friend, she's eyeing me up and dancing in a very sultry manner. I walk over, dance with her a bit, the friend is a bit annoying though trying to throw my attention to her taking my hat off, wearing it herself, trying to dance with me instead, saying inane shit to me I dont care for. I could have settled for this girl instead, a 7 at best but I wanted better. The boyfriend comes over, he looks pretty dejected so I feel bad for him, apologise for hitting on his girl and say 'honestly, can you blame me?' I leave them alone.

I go back upstairs, I'm getting tooled to fuck by some idiot juveniles upstairs at the bar. I stand my ground, the main antagoniser eventually wanders off leaving his mate who was giggling the whole time with me, I ask him if he's a pussy? He walks off. I could have handled that better, I realise by this point I was getting pretty drunk and feeling slightly vunerable as I was completely on my own at this point, I was too affected instead of letting them bait me I could have just walked away. My state has gone now, im feeling pretty pissed off. So I think fuck it, im just gonna go home now.

As I turn to leave I see two hot blondes stood over in the corner chatting, they're stood by the exit so I just think fuck it if I get blown out I can just leave anyway. I've not planned for what Im going to say, all I know is I'm feeling horny, a little pissed off and past the point of caring. So I say 'Hi guys, I'd like to jizz on your faces' in a very cool, calm manner. I'm not smiling or holding back waiting for a response, I continue by holding out my hand and say 'I'm Stu'. She takes my hand, I dont let go.

The girl who's hand im holding stares me right down, the other girl looks nervous and backs off. She's just staring at me for a good 30 seconds looking for any signs of flinching I remain calm, she eventually says;

Her: 'Why do you want to jizz all over our faces?'
Me: 'Because I think your hot and all the guys here are thinking the same they just haven't had the balls to come and tell you'
Her: 'Why are your eyes so dilated? are you on drugs?'
Me: 'No, I don't take drugs, my eyes are probably dilated because I'm attracted to you and when people are attracted to something their pupils dilate to take more of it in, I notice your pupils are also dilated are you attracted to me?'
Her: She ignores what I said 'Who are you here with?'
Me: I'm here on my own
Her: Why are you on your own?
Me: Because my friend left a couple of hours ago
Her: Why did your friend leave?, dont you think it's weird you're still here on your own?'
Me: He left because he got tired, I think it's weird that you think it's weird for someone to still be out on their own enjoying themselves without the company of their friends.

Anyway, the conversation continued like this for some while, it was more an interrogation the whole time she stared right at me, I held my gaze and didnt flinch completely oblivious to what was going on around me. She eventually realised I wasn't going to back down, she smiled, told me her name was Anne and said lets sit down. The conversation was more normal, comfort building I guess you could call it, she asked me what music I liked, I reeled off some bands she said she liked those bands too. I said 'You realise we've been talking for over half an hour now and you're still holding my hand?' She said 'I know'.

She would throw in some curve ball questions at times but generally speaking the conversation was fun and relaxed. Looking back a kiss was on, I didn't do it and for this I am frustrated with not making the attempt at the time I was not thinking 'I should kiss her' it is only through hindsight I realise my mistake. We ended up talking for about an hour and a half still holding hands the whole time. The bouncers are chucking everyone out by this point and the bar manager comes over drunk.

I actually used to think this guy was alright as I'd known him for some years and chatted every now and then. He completely tried tooling me, ignored everything I said as if I wasn't there and generally just tried to make me look beta. Whilst in my head I was raging I tried to remain unaffected, I feel I was sub-communicating that I had been affected by his presence as I fell silent for a couple of minutes whilst he went off on a drunken rant.

Anyway I got her number then left, but I should have kissed her good bye, I was thrown off at the last minute by the cunt bar manager. He certainly wont be getting any respect from me anymore that's for sure.

I'd appreciate your feedback guys, tell me what I should have done better, how can I improve.

Positives:
Opened far more than the modest target I set myself
Felt Indirect to be inauthentic, went direct stating what was genuinely on my mind. Felt sick with myself for actually going in Indirect!
Felt excited about approaching girls not nervous (after the first approach was under my belt)
Didn't feel I needed the support of 'wingmen' approached solo.
Less outcome dependant
Not wanking for a few days makes me feel horny and creates more of primal drive within me.
No magic tricks, feather boas, big fluffy hats and eyeliner required.

Negatives/Work in progress:
Perhaps my frame was TOO sexual
Become even less affected by Twats trying to tool me, perhaps even call them out on their bad behaviour.
Escalate more
Be aware of the need to isolate, Go for kiss closes if I feel it is on, remain unaffected if physical advances are rebuffed.
Drink less alcohol in order to keep a sharper mind and think quickly.

Hahaha, I love her response!

I think you have summed it all up in your analysis. I wouldn't worry about being 'too sexual', it worked wonders.

just keep being direct, you will through trail & error work out when and where you can and cant.

This, for me, would have been more than enough to know it was on.

She decided to sit & talk with you for that length of time, forgetting her mate, & you didn't make any further move than hold her hand. God dammit how big of a signal are you looking for?

In my experience, holding hands for anything over 5 minutes with a girl you have just met means she wants more.

You had her in the palm of your hand, literally. You could have took her home, but you missed her.

Dan's right, but don't dwell on that.

Sounds like you were the man she needed. Just keep that same frame...

You don't need advice here, you're good on the inside - just let it flow.

Saturday 15th December

Feeling pumped head out with my friends for a Christmas social get together. Meet up with one my mates at a local pub, the place is heaving with revellers (mainly men, and hard bastards at that), I'm feeling cool and confident, big smile really enjoying being in the moment chatting with my mate about the football results that day. I'm getting a few admiring glances from the women, admittedly they were of the 'mature' age range.

We drink up move on to the pub we are all due to meet up in. Get to the rendezvous location, completely dead old mans boozer I feel my state diminishing so I'm itching to move on to the next location but don't want to be rude to the girl who arranged the night and wanted to meet at that venue. To keep my state up I crack a few jokes and lead the conversation as the lads in the group are typically moaning and being their usual negative selves.

We move on to the next bar, it's a gay bar. No straight single girls it seems, a waste of an hour.

As we head to the next bar I cut away from the group as I see a girl walking towards me on the phone. I walk up to her and say 'You have gorgeous legs' she's still on the phone walking so I walk with her, I say 'Call them back, talk with me'. A policemen calls me over, he says he's been watching me and said:

Policemen 'Do you want to get arrested for sexual harrassment?'
Me: 'You're joking that's not sexually harrassment I just told her she was sexy'
Policemen 'She didn't look like she was enjoying it'
Me: 'Are you telling me you never chat up women?'
Policemen 'I'm married'
Me: 'Well before you were married?'
Policemen 'Don't let me catch you doing that again'
Me: 'I can't guarantee that' I slap him on the back and walk off

Fuck Da Police!

Head to the next bar my friends are already in there seated, I buy myself a drink on making my way over a spot a 2 girls and a guy seated chatting, one of the girls is gorgeous, I wade in and tell her so. 'Excuse me, you look absolutely beautiful I'm Stu, what's your name' She blushes, the guy looks a bit put-out. He's dressed like a Butlins red-coat so I don't feel apologetic for it.

Anyway I tell her she looks a spitting image of Rhianna she loves this and gets all excitable, I get her number and say we should go for coffee sometime. She says sure but then comes back with 'I have a boyfriend though' To which I say 'That's ok, bring him along'..........I doubt i'll be following this one up, she was only 18.

We move on to check out the new club recently opened in town. Really not my scene unless you like tacky music and aggressive chav's.

Anyway I don't let this effect my state, I dance to the music and soak up the atmosphere and just have fun larking about. I'm just in a bit of a frenzied state grabbing girls, pulling them in, twirling them about, telling them I think they're beautiful (the ones I genuinely think are).

I'm having fun doing this by myself but then my friends become fractious with me and tell me i'm being cocky and obnoxious and they don't like it. This then puts me back into my head for a bit as I'm questioning what they are saying and I begin to lose state again.

I said to one of the guys;

'I'm just trying to push some boundaries mate and become more confident and hit on girls I find attractive I can't apologise for that, I'm sorry if you don't like it. Please show me how you go about pulling girls then, there's 4 nice girls there go and show me'
Friend: 'Not tonight'
Me: 'What do you mean 'not tonight' you've got nothing to lose there they are, just say hello'
Friend: 'Nah'
Me: 'Well then'

He goes off in a huff, they all leave shortly after. I remain unaffected, I see a girl dancing provocatively I STUPIDLY go up behind her and hook her in with my right arm across her neck.

She turns round startled and says 'What the fuck?! that's my boyfriend over there' He just steps back he's seen what I did but to my suprise he didn't confront me for it, I apologise to him. I tell myself, I think it's time to leave I'm behaving like a drunk letch now.

I was disappointed as the night didn't feel like a big enough progression from the following week for me.

Positives
Opened more than the target number I set myself, I opened every girl I saw who I thought was hot even if they were in groups with large muscular lads.
Getting better at keeping my own state up and self-amused despite the negativity of my friends realities.
Number closed (the reality is number closing is a piece of piss, give the girl your phone and say give me you're number she'll tend to just do it)

Negatives
Whilst I tend not to be concerned with concepts such as 'social proof' some girls will still nevertheless make superficial judgements about the company you keep. In my case it goes as follows;

3 guys, all very unconfident, tend to live in a negative reality. 2 of which I wouldn't be suprised if they were still virgins (at 30 years old) in all the years ive known them ive never known them to be with a girl! All 3 of them however go crazy for the girl out with us that night, she already has a boyfriend and is a 6 at best, she enjoys stringing them along and they pander to her needs, except sex which she gets at home anyway.
Solution - Find a new social circle to hangout with?
Dont approach girls from behind like a drunken letch.
Consume much less alcohol, aim for having the ability to do this sober.

Friday 22nd December

Went out, got drunk. Don't remember anything.

Christmas Eve

Met up with a buddy in town for a warm-up drink. He was pretty down in the dumps as usual but exacerbated more so due to the fact it was Christmas and he desperately craves a girlfriend over the Christmas period. I move the conversation over to more upbeat topics.

We drink up and move on to another venue. I say to my friend 'There's actually quite a few nice girls in here tonight, this is better than I was expecting'. He says 'Where? all I see is a sausage fest'. He's really not looking hard enough I point out where all the sets are. We sit and chill for a bit, then a bit more, then some more. All the while im clocking hot girls walk past and we are not doing anything im just listening to this guy moan.

SHIT!!! I was excited and pumped before going out now I feel that all the life has been sucked out of me!!! ARRRGGHHH!!!!

We move on to another venue where all the hot classy girls I like in my city tend to hangout. We arrive, the place is full with Christmas cheer, a band is playing, a hog roast is being served-up outside the place is awash with young fresh-faced beautiful women (and men). My friend is now moaning about several things;
a) He doesnt like the band
b) He doesnt feel welcome
c) He feels there aren't enough women there (There's plenty!)
d) It's Christmas and he hates being single

My state is gone. I am angry, there's beautiful young women all around me and I'm not acting on it, I feel negative now, I'm in my head. I call Nova, I need to get out of my head I need to hear his positive vibes to get my state up again. I've put the poor guy on the spot a little bit but he does well in giving me a quick pep-talk to fire me up. I hang up.

BOOOOOOMMM!!!! Turn straight to the first girl I see, she's talking to some tall smartly dressed handsome chap, I like her unusual pleated hair-style. I tell her I like her hair and introduce myself to her, she likes the compliment. I introduce myself to the guy we shake hands but he says nothing and just stands watching. After about 30 seconds of chat she says she needs to go to the bar to get another drink. She walks off, I feel like I've been blown out! The guy not wanting to chat walks off leaving me standing there. The girl see's the guy walk off and comes running back to me, she re-initiates the chat and thanks me for saving her from that guy who was boring her to death and used to have a crush on her (he still does by the look of it). The chat fizzles out and becomes interview style questions, I eject.

I see 5 girls seated and watch as one guy jumps in asks some lame question then runs away 20 seconds later. 'Hmmm interesting' I tell myself. I walk over and perch myself next to this gorgeous blonde I'd spotted earlier with very sexy defined cheek bones. My opener is pretty lame but it's enough to get my foot in the door;
Me 'Hi my friend fancies you, but he was too shy to tell you himself'
Her 'Ok, who's your friend? I am married but is he enough to tempt me away from my husband?'
Me (FUCK SHE'S MARRIED!) 'I say I don't know, depends if you find guys like him tempting?' and I point out the ugliest guy I can spot.
She laughs we introduce, I tell her to introduce me to her friends she does, we are all acquainted. I am having a hard time trying to interact with all them due to the noise and the fact there's 5 of them sat round this large table.

My friend comes over and fair-play has the courage to join us accompanied by the guy who randomly - delivers his Chinese takeaway food to him! I introduce them to all the girls, I keep talking to the two closest too me but my friend and his takeaway delivery guy aren't talking to the other girls who at this stage look bored and a little creeped out. So I save them from their misery and eject.

Feeling more in state now, I over hear some girl behind me saying she's a professional dancer doing some work up at Royal Northern College of Music. I turn around and say 'I had an ex girlfriend who was a Dancer she went to Northern Ballet School just up the road from the music college on Oxford Street' She was talking to quite a fit lad at the time. I turned to introduce myself to him and he just vaporised!! She was the second girl that night to thank me for rescuing her from a boring guy!

We went to go sit down with the rest of her friends. She seemed pretty cool and we chatted about dance, art and architecture, I was impressed with her architectural knowledge. I was trying to build comfort I suppose in this stage and wasn't be forthright in my intent. Anyway 20mins in she casually mentions her boyfriend, I now want to introduce her face firmly into my knee!! But I resist and ask her to introduce me to the Indian girl across from us at the table.

Her name is Mindu. In total drunken obnoxious state I say 'Ah Mindu the Hindu - I guess you won't be celebrating Christmas!?' I and I alone am self-amused by my crass joke. 'Err No, I get that a lot' she says. Awkwardness ensues and they all up and leave en-mass. FAIL.

Incidentally the bar manager who tried tooling me a couple of weeks prior as I was chatting up a blonde girl took a swipe at me as he was collecting glasses from the table with all the girls present. I walked on after him and confronted him about it, he seemed quite shocked and I asked for his name and said 'Ben, just do your fucking job and leave me alone'........I think I'm on the verge of being barred from my favorite venue.

My friend has left by this point, YES!! I spot a gorgeous brunette only 19 who I clocked earlier, I say 'Hi I just had to meet you, you look stunning', we shake hands I hold on. She tells me she has a boyfriend. Gutted.

I spot two blonde girls one of whom has ENORMOUS breasts, and has them on display even during the depths of winter. As I go over some black dude gets in there first, I wait til he's had his turn.

'I'm not suprised that guy was interested your breasts are amazing!' I have my arm around her waist, she then puts hers around my waist and says 'Thank you'. Her blonde friend stands the other side of me. I turn to her and say the second distasteful comment of the evening;
'Yours however are like a couple fried eggs on an ironing board, my moobs are bigger'.
The buxom blonde tries not to laugh, I try to play it down but the mood turns sour (again). She asks me to leave. I try to apologise. Leave! some Chode guy sat at their table trying to be the hero says 'I think you should leave'. Again I try to apologise, the buxom blonde is lighting up a cigarrette sat back amused watching this all play out. I look to her, she says 'Stuart, I'm sorry but I think you should leave'. I walk away, before I get into any more trouble I feel its time to go.

Positives
Approached (eventually) genuinely gorgeous girls I was attracted to.
Felt comfortable just wading in on large sets and plonking myself down within their group.
Was not intimidated by the guys, I'm getting to a point where the fact they are even their sometimes just does not even register.
I feel I am progressing at a much faster rate than I did when I was doing this stuff a few years back, I'm just a little miscalibrated at times and drunk.

Negatives
Allowed my friends negativity to get on top of me and found it hard then to draw state from within.
Some of my openers were indirect.
There is a fine line between being 'self-amused' and coming across as a drunken, obnoxious cunt. Particularly if being borderline narcissistic does not come naturally to you. I was miscalibrated.
I am naturally more chilled than high energy, play to my strengths and be cool, calm and collected rather than try to become 'The entertainer'.
Get my alcohol consumption under control.
No closes.

When you fuck up and clearly upset a girl as I did I felt genuinely terrible for it and began apologising profusely, whilst I wanted to apologise I felt even more of an idiot for doing so and I have dwelt on that somewhat as I'm not out to be a dickhead to people. How do you guys deal with such situations??

I am gaffe prone at times when Im just trying to be affable (Just like Larry David).

Cheers fellas.

All trial and error my friend.

I must salute you for the directness of your openers, win some lose some but at least you are straight-up honest. Keep it going!