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-   -   Medical Trials - Human Guinea Pig (https://www.puaforums.co.uk/business-making-money/13894-medical-trials-human-guinea-pig.html)

Jaz 20-04-2013 10:13 PM

Medical Trials - Human Guinea Pig
 
It's Saturday night and I am in a hospital bed hooked up to a heart rate monitor and an IV and I'm not sick. Im fact I'm just eating crisps and watcing the matrix trilogy in my pants quite happily while a nurse takes a sample of my blood every hour. I here for six days and at the end of my stay I will receive 2.5k and a pat on the back.

So why are you not doing the same?

Medical trials are a piece of fucking piss. Majority of the time you are testing a drug for some ailment, which you will take as part of a group and spend your time in a ward while they take samples of you to see how it metabolizes in your body. You may have side effects but they are usually non existent or very mild. Besides, you will be told way before what the side effects are and you have to be fit and healthy to be taken on. Before you say "you stupid cunt you are going to kill youself", don't be an idiot. There are various safety tests medicine has to go though before it goes into a human, the likely hood is that on a trial they have probably already been tested on many different groups before you.

Out of a group of ten of which I am in, there have been two lads who got the shits. That was expected. Apart from that the worst part about this is the boredom. You a spending a good few days on a ward with fuck all to do. It's like big brother but without the cameras. But you are fed and watered and everyone else is up for a good chin wag.

It's not always drug trials, they may be testing a new procedure or just doing a general medical study. For example, there are a few chaps in here who have to eat McDonalds three times a day while they have a tube up there nose. They are getting paid 1200 quid. Let me repeat that - they are getting paid 1200 for eating McDonalds with a tube up there nose.

So check it out. Like I said, easy TAX FREE money and you are also doing a (sort of) good deed.

This is the company I am with. But there are loads all over the county - paying up to ten grand!

ICON Study Volunteers Manchester, UK, Paid Clinical Trials

Barney Stinson 20-04-2013 10:40 PM

Sounds good, will have to look into this.

How long are the tests generally for?

Jaz 20-04-2013 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barney Stinson (Post 75006)
Sounds good, will have to look into this.

How long are the tests generally for?

Depends on the trial and you are paid accordingly. Some can be a month in hospital. There is one going to happen in June paying 7.4k but you are on site for 40 days. Hardcore but still 7.4k in a month is a fucking good wage in anyones books.

I also imagine there is some discomfort with that one too, pain threshold tests or something. Not going to kill you but probably not pleasant.

Barney Stinson 20-04-2013 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaz (Post 75007)
Depends on the trial and you are paid accordingly. Some can be a month in hospital. There is one going to happen in June paying 7.4k but you are on site for 40 days. Hardcore but still 7.4k in a month is a fucking good wage in anyones books.

I also imagine there is some discomfort with that one too, pain threshold tests or something. Not going to kill you but probably not pleasant.

Definitely better than JSA! I wouldn't mind the time in hospital, just bring my films hard drive. Sorted.
Be just the food I wouldn't look forward to but I'm sure I can get a cheeky fast food order in :P

Electric shock therapy possibly, ouchh!

Shahanshah 21-04-2013 05:57 AM

I've wanted to do this for ages but I'm certain of death.

Shahanshah 21-04-2013 05:58 AM

Hahaha something funny about Jaz's first post in the business& making money section being to whore your body out :P

Barney Stinson 21-04-2013 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shahanshah (Post 75015)
Hahaha something funny about Jaz's first post in the business& making money section being to whore your body out :P

I'm not too bothered about the risk of death. Got more chance of dying walking across a road.

Condition 1 for admittance into the trials: You must be gay and willing...
Something your not telling us Jaz :P

dan300 20-08-2013 03:22 AM

I discovered one of these medical trial gaffs 200 yards from my front door a few months ago. I was passing & saw the sign & recognized the name & thought JACKPOT!!!

Obviously, I enrolled on whatever the fuck was going on at the time, a smoking trial, but unfortunately I needed all my teeth to take part, because it was based on chewing nicotine gum...for 4 periods of 2 days, for 1850.

I was obviously a bit gutted that I couldn't take part (get 1850 for nothing) but it's 200 yards away, & I intend to get loads of money for doing stupid tests.

daleinthedark 20-08-2013 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dan300 (Post 81116)
but unfortunately I needed all my teeth...

Dan, that's the most I've laughed this week

dan300 20-08-2013 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daleinthedark (Post 81147)
Dan, that's the most I've laughed this week

Hahaha I'm not toothless gummy crackhead lookalike.

I've had a couple yanked out, but even if you're missing only one, you can't take part.


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