you may not like to hear this, but sounds a bit like AA is not such a bad idea

i have a slight problem with lessons learned: 5. Sounds like you have standards, not like you're prejudging, I think standards are good. Imho it's better to throw the 3s rule out the window and just stand back and gather some information, like "she looks good but omg is she really wearing that" or "did that just come out of her mouth? omg how superficial can you get?". With just a bit more time invested in observation before you enter a set, you might be saving yourself some time wasted on people who don't deserve your company. If an fclose or FR is all you're after then forget what I said, but otherwise, maybe it's better to spend time with people you find fascinating and that are worthy of respect. I could debate more on the 3s rule but I will just say this: approaching someone after 2 seconds is not even that mysterious