Feel uncomfortable when alone for a while in clubs and bars
 

When I'm out in a club or bar and I'm by myself for a while I find it hard to stay relaxed. This often happens after a conversation finishes and I don't have the safety net of a mate to return to or see anyone else I can start talking to.

I start to get very conscious of being alone, get into my head and if I stay like this for long become hesitant in approaching. As a knock on effect, when I manage to approach again I find myself coming off as a bit desperate or needy as I'm too keen to start talking or stay in a conversation.

The social pressure of being by myself can get a bit overbearing and a few times I've had to leave the venue to release the pressure.

In situations when I know I have a mate to return to or nearby, I feel a lot more relaxed.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get over this? I am fairly sure it is a mindset thing but I'm struggling with it at the moment.

Yeah I normally have at least a few drinks.

Ideally that's the stage I'd like to get to but at the moment I'm just freaking out too easily. Even when I'm out with a mate and they disappear for a good while I catch myself going into my head.

As Jaz suggested, small doses. Instead of a club you have to pay to get into maybe try a few different bars so you can reset, sing your happy song or whatever it is that grounds you while you walk to the next destination.

Or go to the smoking area and have a more low-key conversation. Everyone talks to everyone in smoking areas so theres less approach anxiety and it'll keep you feeling social while you prepare for the next approach.

Hi, I got helped with getting more confidence with my approach thanks to those guys: surgicalcoaching.net. Super helpful, You need to start taking action and even if you're not used to you'll get better both inner and outer.

Shameless

I've had the same struggle at times and have felt nervous and not very relaxed. The only thing I can say helps is more exposure. So the old face your fear, expose yourself to it thing.

For example you could maybe make yourself go to a bar or something by yourself for just one drink. And do it regularly enough such that you feel comfortable by yourself. Once you're comfortable with yourself you can move to the stage of being more sociable and approaching women.

You guys are next level I have trouble approaching women even if I'm with good mates!

as well as a few glasses of alcohol make me a real macho and after half an hour at the bar I will definitely find myself a companion

Don´t rely on alcohol to get you through. It´s a temporary solution and doesn´t solve the issue. The issue is really with your self-confidence and that you don´t feel good enough which is normal for many.

I would continue to go out by yourself to the same bar but make friends with the bar staff and security so that you at least get comfortable with the environment. At the bar, the easiest opener is "WHat are you drinking?" or "What do you recommend?"